I Hope You're Not Allergic

I'm not sure whether we're going to do anything out with the boys tonight, so I decided I'd better get pictures earlier in the day, while they were both happy and the light was good. Matt and I had a lot of fun deciding how to dress the boys this year. Instead of finding any cute costume, we could dress them as a set. It turns out that is easier said than done, though, at least in a cost-effective manner. But I like what we ended up choosing.

Nathan:
Really the elephant is a good choice. He does seem like an elephant compared to Patrick on his first Halloween.

And Patrick:

Did I get you snickering? I hope so! What else could possibly go with an elephant but a peanut? Also the logical choice for Patrick; he is such a nut after all!

Patrick actually seems to really like his costume and didn't even fight the head thing for a long time. Nathan doesn't seem to even notice what he's wearing, even if it gives him satellite dish ears. I probably could have left them both in their costumes all day long if it hadn't been such a warm day.

And here's the set of them. Time to start thinking about next year!

I have one more picture to leave you with. On Patrick's first Halloween, he wasn't even a full month old and still in the hospital. Somehow he ended up with a pumpkin hat (the volunteers? the hospital itself? one of the nurses?), and his nurse for the day took a Polaroid of him in it. It was huge, barely staying on his head for the picture. I thought it was only appropriate to see how well it fits Nathan. As you can see, his head is a little bigger than Patrick's was when he wore it (sorry I can't show you Patrick's picture; the quality is so bad that it's not worth scanning).

House of Chaos

I'm sorry for not posting for a few days. I have a good reason, I promise. My arms have rarely been empty for the last three or four days. Nathan has started having what I like to call meltdowns. He cries loudly for no obvious reason, and it takes every trick in the book to calm him back down. It can happen once a day or every few hours all day long. Holding him seems to prevent them from happening as often, so I do so every chance I get. That makes for little computer time, though.

We'll see the doctor for his one-month appointment on Thursday, and I'll mention it then if it doesn't get better before then. We've decided it might just be bad gas, but we don't know what to do to really help that. And sometimes it doesn't make sense for it to be gas, so we're looking into other possibilities too. I'm hoping that it's somehow related to his sudden dropping of one overnight feeding last night. Maybe he was fussing in preparation for this big step. I vaguely remember Patrick doing that sometimes, so I'm holding out hope that Nathan is doing the same.

Anyway, if things don't improve soon, posting may be sporadic for some time, whenever I can find a few moments to write a quick something before he starts crying again.

Smattering of Pictures

The other day we pulled out Patrick's old gym to see what Nathan thought of it. He was okay with it, but much more interested in watching his big brother play with it. Matt and I were both a little choked up watching our little family playing together, as this was the first time both boys had played in the same vicinity with the same toy (although I think it would be a stretch to say Patrick was playing with Nathan).

A cold front came through earlier this week, so we pulled out the one set of cold-weather pj's we have for Patrick. They also happen to be his first set of big boy pj's. Also, take a look at his hair because...

We cut his hair on Sunday. Doesn't he look like such a big boy here?

Here's Nathan in his first cold-weather outfit. He looked so cute, like a little jogger.

Patrick only looks like he's playing with Nathan here. His newest obsession is latches, and he keeps trying to figure out how to latch and unlatch the one on this chair. It doesn't seem to matter to him whether his brother is already in the chair.

First smile caught on camera!

Patrick in his big boy pj's playing with a birthday toy

Stretch!

My three boys together...Notice where everyone is looking. That's what makes this picture so sweet.

And I just love this picture of Patrick. Isn't that the face of an angel?

Patrick the Magician

Patrick threw me for a loop last night. I was doing his nightly diaper change and changing him into pj's. I stripped off all his clothes and then went to open his diaper. I was quite surprised to see what greeted me in that open diaper. Nope, it's not what you think. Sitting there nice and toasty on his lower belly, right under the tightest part of the diaper, was a goldfish.

As if that's not funny enough, here's what he was wearing yesterday...a onesie with jeans over it. Now I could see him dropping one into his pants during snacktime, on purpose or not, but how exactly did he manage to get one all the way into his diaper without access to said diaper? And even if he dropped it down the neck of the onesie, that's a miracle shot to catch it in his diaper, far enough down to make it under the tightest part of the diaper. I'm starting to think the more likely answer is that Patrick is studying from the world's greatest illusionists in his spare time.

One Month Old

Dear Nathan,

All day long so far, I've been playing the game where I try to remember exactly what I was doing at this time a month ago. I've replayed the events of your birth over and over and over in my mind, and the magic hasn't dissipated at all. Your arrival was truly a miracle for me and our whole family--because of its normalcy, not its unique circumstances like your brother. I'm amazed every time I look at you that something so perfect came from my body.

Life has begun to adjust to something of a routine in the last month. When you decide it's time to eat may change from day to day, but I've worked hard to coordinate your sleep periods, when you sleep in your playard, to regular times each day. I think this is a large reason for our success with your sleeping. Rarely do I have to sit up with you at night because you're awake. Thank you for sleeping so well and saving my sanity!

Feeding has also been easier with you than Patrick. It certainly helps that all you've ever known is breast-feeding. You took to it relatively well right away, and despite a couple of setbacks, you are now eating completely normally. Patrick didn't do that for about seven months. The only problem we've had is that your natural ability to sleep sometimes interferes with your eating. I've never found a child so difficult to wake up! That doesn't seem to be hindering your weight gain any, though; we expect you to top ten pounds at your one-month appointment next week.

So far things have been easier caring for you than they were for Patrick, in large part because we've known what to expect. The one surprise has been watching the interactions between you and Patrick. Now that you are becoming more aware, you are developing a fascination with your big brother. You watch him any time he's near enough to see, and this morning you actually fussed until he looked back at you. I can't believe that you crave your big brother's attention. I'd better enjoy it while it lasts; you won't feel the same when you're both older and start hitting each other and fighting over toys.

The best development of the last month has happened in just the last few days: you're now learning to smile. I've loved you from day one, but it's so much easier to care for you when I'm exhausted and cranky when I'm rewarded with a toothless baby grin. You were handing out those smiles like candy earlier today, especially at your big brother who seemed oblivious to your sweetness.

Now I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving when you will get to meet all your family, from grandparents to great-grandparents to aunts, uncles, cousins, and even great-aunts, great-uncles, and non-first cousins. I can't wait for you to share all those sweet smiles with everyone we already love and you will learn quickly to love.

You have so much life ahead of you, and it baffles my mind to think of the possibilities of where your life's path may lead. At the same time, though, I get a little nostalgic thinking of the wide future in front of you because it reminds me that a full month has already passed since I first met you, heard that first cry, gazed into your eyes for the first time. You are going to grow up all too soon, and I vow to cherish every one of these newborn moments with you while I still can.

I've loved you from the moment I met you, and even before, and each day I'm with you my heart grows exponentially to hold all the love that's grown that day.

Love,
Mommy

Toddler Antics

I've been collecting cute and funny pictures of Patrick over the last week or so. He's been particularly entertaining, probably as his way of getting more of the attention back. It works when he does things like these.
We got this bucket from a fast food place awhile back, and Patrick immediately loved it. He puts things in it and dumps them back out, and eventually started carrying it by its handle. It took me some time to figure out why he kept putting it on his arm and heading for the door with it, saying, "Bye!" the whole way. I also couldn't figure out why he kept moving Nathan's carseat over to the door at the same time. Then it hit me: he was pretending to be me. The bucket was his purse, and he was taking his baby on an errand with him. How sweet is that? He'll hate this picture when he's older, though!

Patrick also found a way to pull down his diaper bag from its shelf the other day and found the bib while digging around in it. Of course he kept trying to put it on. It was funny watching him walk around holding it to his chest with his chin. He'll figure out that snap soon enough!

Ahhh, my shoe salesman. In his never-ending quest for "bye," he has started bringing us various pairs of shoes, and then when we don't immediately put them on, he puts them on for us. As you can tell, he's getting fairly close to getting it right. He's starting to figure out that just because we have shoes on doesn't mean we're going anywhere.

He's multi-tasking here. He was drinking his water while posing for the picture (after a good nap, as you can tell by the hair) when suddenly he had an itch in his eye. It makes for a cute picture anyway.

And of course I couldn't leave you without one picture of Nathan. I hope Patrick doesn't mind that I pushed Nathan into his post. Oh, well, he'll forgive me!

Brotherly Love

"Mom! Nathan's touching me!"

Patrick seems to finally have accepted that his little brother is around to stay. As much as possible, he still ignores him, but every so often I've noticed him show that at some point in the future he might care for this screaming thing who takes all his attention. Patrick shows lots of curiosity about things like how Nathan eats and Nathan's pacifier. Sometimes he'll bring me the pacifier when Nathan is crying, even though he hasn't quite figured out yet how to get it in his mouth.

The cutest thing I've seen Patrick do for his brother, though, was the other day when I was getting Nathan out of his swing (the swing he's already used more than Patrick ever did). I was on the phone at the time, so after I unlatched Nathan, I was adjusting the phone on my shoulder briefly before lifting him out of the swing. Patrick thought I must be taking too long and reached out his arms like he was going to try to rescue Nathan if I wasn't. I'm glad I got there before Patrick tried to lift him, but it was sweet to see.

On the other hand, though, Nathan seems to annoy Patrick more of the time. The crying in particular can draw several different reactions from Patrick. If he's in a funny mood, he'll yell right back at Nathan. It's always done in a silly way so that it's not quite as annoying and can actually relieve the tension when I can't get Nathan to stop crying. If Patrick's not being silly, though, he lets me know he's annoyed by the crying by sticking his fingers in my ears. He may not mean to be funny, but it relieves the tension just as well. I just wish I could do the same thing sometimes!

Nathan's Early Days

As promised, since I don't have any new pictures of the boys right now, here are a few more from Nathan's birth and our stay in the hospital.

Nathan at just a few minutes old

Patrick chilling while hanging out at the hospital with us--He charmed every person he ran into all weekend long.

Daddy with his new little boy

Nathan all wrapped up tight and ready to go home

Nathan's first car ride

Where I've Been

Sorry for my recent absence around here. I'm starting to not want to blog unless I have adorable new pictures to post, and I haven't managed to take any lately. The real problem, though, is that I was hit this weekend with my first breast infection with Nathan. Those of you who have been around here for a long time may remember that this was a real problem with Patrick. It's already been rough with Nathan too. Now that I'm on day three of the infection, it's lasted longer than any I remember with Patrick. I also spiked quite a fever with this one, something that only happened once with Patrick. And that time, it was only a moderate fever; this one was definitely severe. At least I'm on the down side of the illness now and should be back to normal in the next day or two. Hopefully that means I'll be up to taking more pictures and blogging more. Maybe I'll post more of Nathan's newborn pictures that I never got around to posting at the time to tide you over until I have true new pictures.

Non-Birthday-Related Pictures

He is such a big boy these days. He looks quite pleased with himself for crawling in the chair on his own, even with his sippy cup, doesn't he?

I could take a million pictures of this scene (in fact, I may have). Nathan looks so much like Patrick did at this age...just bigger.

See, he does sleep like a baby sometimes. Unfortunately, it isn't always like this at night.

Baby feet are just too cute.

Nathan seems to like the blanket his great-grandma made for him. I really need to try to get pictures of both boys with their blankets together. I really like how the colors came out in this picture, though.

Two Years

Dear Patrick,

I absolutely cannot believe that it's been a full two years since that day I went into the hospital with what I thought was a kidney infection and left a mother. The time has flown by. I keep looking at your little brother, and even though he's much bigger than you were at this age, it's impossible for me to believe you could have been that tiny a mere two years ago.

Regardless of what you think of your little brother--I do think you're warming to him at last, by the way--it's been wonderful having him around. I have never appreciated you more than when I set you side by side with a newborn. You truly are a big boy. You are much more independent than I realized, even when you're begging for attention. Walking, talking, and even sleeping through the night are much bigger milestones than they seem at the time.
Your second birthday was quieter than your first, as we expected. This weekend was not a good time for most of your extended family to travel, so we had our first family party with just the four of us. It was nice not having to decorate, or even clean, for the occasion. We are still planning to have a big family party with all the grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc., but I'm glad we got to celebrate within our own family first.

The early part of your day seemed unremarkable to you. You threw tantrum after tantrum, frustrating both Daddy and me, and your obvious need for an early nap threw our plans for the celebration. Once you'd slept some, though, you were raring to go with the whole birthday thing. You opened your own presents this year and loved to tear the paper off--and try to put it back on. It took Daddy to show you that the real present was hidden in the paper and not the paper itself. And once you realized that, you fell in love with your new toys. We could barely get you to leave the last toy to open the next; in fact, several times you were opening the next present with one hand while holding the last present with the other hand. It means the world to me that you embraced your birthday presents the way you have, that we were able to predict your likes so well this year. It's a nice change from the "whatever" attitude you had about many of last year's presents.

The cake was also much more fun this year. Although your cake was much more simple than last year, I have to admit it was more tasty as well. Your daddy put a lot of effort into baking your cake himself, and he did an excellent job. I'm thrilled that your reaction to the cake showed your agreement. You absolutely devoured the whole piece we gave you and would have eaten more if we'd dared give you that much more sugar. It turns out you really, really like cake. I don't blame you.

And now we start life with a two-year-old. I have a feeling that this year will be as much of an adventure as last year, if not more. Just like last year, I have no idea how to imagine you on your third birthday. I hope you'll be just as full of life and laughs as you are now and just as loving and loveable. I look forward to understanding more of what you say and watching you grow up physically, but at the same time it saddens me. I know that this fun (when you're not throwing tantrums) two-year-old phase will be short-lived, and I'll be remembering this fun second birthday as we get your driver's license in another fourteen years. Who said you could keep growing up anyway?

And for the record, I love you so much more with your brother around, despite what you seem to think sometimes. My heart grows each day, letting me love you even more.

Mommy

Note to Friends and Family

As many of you may be aware, tomorrow is an important occasion in our house: Patrick's second birthday. You might have gathered from the lack of mention of the event that not much is happening for it, at least not right now. We are planning a very small family party for the four of us tomorrow, but the big celebration will be postponed.

Patrick won't know exactly when the big party has happened either way, so we've decided it makes much more sense to plan a big party when people can actually come to it. So any of you who are planning to be in the Dallas area over Thanksgiving break, consider this your formal invitation to Patrick's second birthday party. We're still working out details about exactly which day and where to hold the party, so I'll keep everyone updated probably through e-mail when those details get settled.

If any of you have preferences about what day to hold it (say, if you're heading home early or something) or have great ideas for a good location, please let me know. Otherwise, we hope to see you there!

They Keep Getting Cuter

Remember Patrick's obsession with going bye-bye? And how he brings Daddy his shoes when he wants to go, and on command when they really are going somewhere? Well, it was only a matter of time...
Every kid needs pictures like these at some point, don't they? I think it's cute that he already wants to fill Daddy's shoes.

Nathan may not do things that are quite as cute (think poopy diapers every hour), but he keeps getting cuter every day without even trying. I think this is one of my newest favorite pictures of him.

I love the wrinkly skin, like as big as he is, he hasn't quite grown into it yet.

My Boys

I've been delaying writing the post all about what life is like with both boys because it seems that I can barely find a few minutes of empty arms (when I'm not trying to sleep) to organize my thoughts. Finally both boys are napping at the same time, though, so I'm taking full advantage of my five minutes before I expect Nathan to wake up hungry.

Nathan is fortunately taking after his big brother in one respect so far: his love of sleep. I can only hope this sticks around. He has plenty of awake periods during the day, but he tends to sleep well at night. He wakes up every three to four hours to nurse and sleeps--well, like a baby the rest of the time. I'm not suffering from lack of sleep nearly as badly as I expected to at this point. Of course, it helps that Patrick also consistently sleeps well all night, giving me plenty of time to catch as many z's as possible around Nathan's sleep schedule.

The only sleep problem we've encountered appears to have been a reaction to my diet. It seems that after making me crave so much chocolate for the last nine months, now Nathan has a strong reaction to it, keeping him awake like I'd had a cup of coffee shortly before. Any chocolate intake between lunch and bedtime will spell out a bad night's sleep for us all. That's not too cool of my youngest son.

Nathan is definitely a cuddler, too. I wondered when he was so reluctant to leave the warmth of my belly. During the day, he wants to be held as much as possible. The moments are rare when I can set him down happily for more than a couple of minutes at a time. He gets fussy quickly. Sometimes rocking him in his infant chair helps calm him down, and sometimes it doesn't. I need to try the swing that Patrick hated on Nathan. Maybe that will save my arms a little bit (not that I mind holding my baby one bit!).

Patrick is adjusting reasonably well. As expected, he's desperate for attention nearly all the time. Any time I have to hold or feed Nathan, Patrick is suddenly hovering around me, bringing me toys to play with with him or wanting to crawl into my lap. I can usually accommodate him, scooting over to hold him with the empty arm or playing along with whatever game he's playing with his toys at the moment. But sometimes even that isn't enough attention for him and his antics to get that attention get increasingly outlandish. Without a doubt, he knows what things are the biggest no-nos, and he'll go straight for those. Negative attention is still attention, after all.

At the same time, though, he seems to be coming to an awareness of his baby brother. There are times I've caught Patrick not only showing interest in Nathan but even doing something sweet for him. Patrick has stroked Nathan's hand or foot several times to attempt to calm his crying and even tried to rescue him from the infant chair when it was clear that was not where Nathan wanted to be (although that could have been either Patrick's newest obsession with latches or his possessiveness of the chair). He's also showing a lot of interest in the whole nursing thing. It hasn't gotten to the point of making me uncomfortable yet, but I'm starting to see boys' fascination with breasts. It certainly starts early!

I'm still waiting for a good opportunity to get pictures of the boys together. Right now the only way Patrick will get very close to Nathan is when I'm holding both of them, which makes taking pictures difficult. He's also a little careless about the "gentle" concept when it comes to his brother; I don't think he understands how much more fragile Nathan is than Mommy or Daddy. He's simply not mature enough to handle being alone next to his brother, much less holding him. It's too bad because I really want pictures of both my kids together.

Speaking of pictures, I've been taking them regularly of both boys, but as usual I'm running into the problem of finding computer time to download, edit, and post them. Trust me when I say you'll know right away when I do.

Two Check-Ups

Today we had check-ups for both boys. This was my first outing alone with the two of them, and I'm proud to say I survived. It was not without its mishaps, but they have more to do with having two kids who both need to be confined to either a stroller or infant chair while en route to the final destination. Ever try carrying an infant chair while pushing a stroller? It's not as easy as it looks, and trust me when I say it doesn't even look easy. Fortunately both boys were on their best behavior (until we were leaving and Nathan got hungry).

Okay, on to what the doctor said. Patrick was there a few days early for his two-year check-up. (Two years?! It still doesn't sound right to me.) He weighed in--on the big boy scale--at 21.8 pounds and is now 31 inches tall. Both are still remarkably small for his age but are big leaps based on his growth pattern over the past two years. In other words, the doctor was quite happy with his physical progress. He is also right on par developmentally, which was a relief to hear.

The funniest part was watching Patrick with the doctor. He recognized him for the grandfatherly type that he is and adopted him as part of the family right away. He was bringing him toys to play with and didn't resist at all to the poking and prodding. I think he kind of liked the attention. The doctor was thoroughly impressed with that, saying that most two-year-olds hate even being at the doctor's office.

Nathan's part of the appointment was even easier. He needed a routine blood check, which he naturally screamed through. Fortunately he's still at that age where he forgets pain quickly, and he stopped crying just a few minutes later. The most interesting part of his appointment was when they did his weight check. If you remember, he was born at 8 lbs, 2 oz and dropped to 7 lbs, 10 oz by his appointment last Tuesday. He weighed in at 8 lbs, 11 oz today. That's up a full pound in about a week. Yeah, I doubt we'll have too much trouble keeping him on the charts.

Great News!

I'm an aunt again! I just heard from my big brother, and they had their first little girl tonight shortly after 8:00. It was a short labor, only two hours of recognizable contractions, and she did it without pain medication. I'm so excited for them. Once I've checked to make sure they're okay that I share more particulars, I may have more details for you. Congrats to the new mommy and daddy!

My First Broken Bone

My doctor confirmed today that I've most likely suffered my first ever broken bone. It seems as though Nathan broke my tailbone during his birth. It's frustrating because there's nothing that can be done to help it heal; I'm just on lots of pain meds to help me cope until it does. Unfortunately, some of the more effective medicine has also been making me sick, so I've been trying to suffer without it. Needless to say, the pain has made taking care of both Patrick and Nathan difficult. Matt has been a huge help, but his boss doesn't seem to like the idea of him avoiding work until I'm all healed up.

So I'm sorry I haven't been keeping up with updates here often enough, and I'm not taking nearly enough pictures to satisfy even myself, much less posting the ones I have. I hope you'll all be understanding as I work toward getting used to taking care of two children on my own during the day and coping with the pain at the same time. Eventually I'll feel better, and life will settle into a decent routine again--and then I'll be able to blog on a more regular basis again.