Sharing

This is a first. Both boys are wearing the same size pajamas. It's laundry day, and somehow we went through all of Nathan's pajamas more quickly than usual. He was left with just really warm flannel footy pajamas, all just a bit too small for him the last time he wore them several months ago. I couldn't do that to him, so I fished through Patrick's drawer for some that might fit. The ones I found fit remarkably well, just a little long (but elastic around the ankles keep them from dragging). It seems that we are only a few months from sharing nearly all their clothes. I wonder if it will be easier or more difficult to have them sharing a wardrobe.

Hopefully it won't be too much of a problem. Patrick is usually really good about sharing. He always willingly offers his brother part of his meals and snacks, sometimes even when he's not supposed to, like when Nathan's mouth is already full. There are the expected problems with taking toys away from each other, but Patrick is trying really hard to learn when that is inappropriate.

It's great that the two are playing together now, too. Sometimes they get a little wound up and play games that are a bit out of my comfort zone for them, like the open/close the door game, but it makes life a little easier when their games are less dangerous. I particularly like the game where Patrick mimics Nathan. It's hilarious to watch both of them scooting around the floor, like a crazy little choo-choo train. Nathan flourishes under the attention of his big brother as well. I can tell already that the two are going to be very close as they get older. It's a good thing, if they're going to grow up sharing a wardrobe.

You'll be interested to know that I finally got around to downloading pictures. I have pictures from Christmas, both places, and a few of Patrick riding his tricycle that Santa left at our house while we were gone, then a few I took of the boys yesterday. You can find them here (can you tell it's a lot easier on me to just link them?). Enjoy.

Another First

I'm finding that the boys' baby books aren't quite adequate with room to fill in all the important firsts. They include all the usual ones, the ones that people ask about--like first food, first tooth, first word, first steps, all those.

But the really important ones, the ones that create the strongest memories for me, are the ones that no baby book would think to include. These firsts also tend to include both boys. I remember the first time Patrick actually played with Nathan, the first time Nathan laughed at Patrick, the first time Patrick called Nathan "Gaga" (that I recognized anyway), and the first time Nathan called Patrick "Gaga."

Today was yet another of those firsts between brothers. I was giving them a bath together (that was another first--their first joint bath) and they were thoroughly enjoying it. Nathan has finally started loving bathtime instead of just tolerating it, and coincidentally that coincides with learning to splash. Go figure.

Anyway, today Nathan was watching his brother carefully. Patrick kept splashing all over the bathroom--and me. Nathan immediately laughed hysterically at him and then followed his example. I would get a second tidal wave of water threatening to drown me, this time from Nathan. Patrick would laugh at, and with, him and start the whole process over again.

My boys were playing together and had teamed up against me. I had so much fun watching them work together to soak me that I didn't even mind that they quite easily accomplished their purpose.

That was a first for them--to play together with purpose, to team up on me. In the past, they may have both played side by side with the same toy, but they weren't truly playing together. I'm not so sure this will be a good thing in the future, especially the teaming up together, but there is something so fulfilling watching my boys forge their own relationship with each other.

When the Lights Are Out

The other day, Matt and I realized it was probably time to move Nathan's crib mattress down a level. He's never shown any signs of pulling up on the side or any other dangerous activities, but he is definitely at that age when it could start happening at any moment. We'd rather be proactive about it than discover just too late that we should have already taken care of this task.

When we put his bed back together, we debated about whether to put his crib bumper back in. Patrick has recently decided it's just another of his toys, and we've found it draped around the room several times lately. To preserve our own sanity, we made the decision to see how Nathan did without it.

At first, he seemed to be a little confused. "Why can I suddenly see out of my crib, and not just what's above it?" Then he settled in; he seemed to like the new view.

Patrick did too. He also seemed quite curious about the new look to Nathan's crib, inspecting it even before we left the room for the night. Still, Matt and I left to let the two of them get used to the change, expecting the worst.

I was surprised when I didn't immediately hear cries behind me. I shrugged in the silence and went in the other room to play on the computer. About ten minutes later, I needed to do something right outside their room. When I got there, I heard a weird noise.

"Is that Nathan crying?" I wondered. It sounded like his voice, but it wasn't quite a typical cry. "Oh, no. I get it now. Patrick's laughing." I could only imagine the kind of torment he was inflicting on his brother that would cause him to laugh that mischievous laugh. I had pictures in my mind of Patrick poking at his brother through the slats and pulling his blankie away from him and who even knows what other mischief he could devise.

Then I heard it again and knew the sound for what it was: Nathan's laughter. It was the wildest, most hilarious laughter I have ever heard out of this perpetually happy baby. Between two crazy laughs, I heard another quieter sound. This time it was Patrick's voice. He was talking to Nathan in a sweet but silly voice.

My two boys were having an impromptu slumber party in their room, reminiscent of the late-night chattering my sister and I would do from time to time when we were young. The two were having such a grand time that I didn't want to interrupt them, even though they needed to sleep and it was probably my duty to put an end to the fun. (That's what mommies do, right?)

Instead, I called Matt to come listen as well. We practically melted as we listened to our boys interacting with each other and entertaining each other. It's a sound that I'm sure will become irritating as they grow older and we are forced to put an end to on a regular basis to ensure they get enough sleep, but for this one night, we revelled in the noise.

It's nice to have proof that our boys do love each other after all. For now.

Bop!

When Patrick was an itty-bitty newborn still in the NICU, Matt started the "boop" game with him. Patrick had (still has) this perfect little button nose that just begs to be poked, so Matt would poke the cute nose and say "Boop!" in this adorable voice. It was one of the first ways we knew to relate to him when he seemed so fragile otherwise.

We have kept up the Boop game, although it has become much less frequent lately. Nathan's nose may not be quite as adorable as Patrick's was, but it's close, so we also do the Boop game with him from time to time.

Today Patrick had climbed in my lap while I was trying to calm Nathan, who has been a little extra fussy lately because of the cold. Patrick took the initiative and started poking at Nathan, the first time he's shown much interest in him that's not related to snaps or latches and definitely the first time he has voluntarily touched him. Thinking it was cute, I booped Nathan's nose.

Patrick immediately caught on and poked Nathan's nose. "Bop!" When he saw my reaction, he did it again--and again and again. Then he did it to my nose and Matt's when he got home.

It's the cutest thing I've ever seen, watching my little boy play the first game he ever got to play with his own little brother. It warms my heart just to remember how they related to each other this afternoon.

By the way, this is just one more new word Patrick has spouted out lately. Yesterday it was "ball" and "apple" (which he can identify by a picture now and also says it when he sees the letter A). I could also swear he said, "I don't wanna sleep tight," after getting up from his nap today. Did he just wake up yesterday and decide that twenty-seven months was time to grow up all of a sudden?

Brotherly Love

"Mom! Nathan's touching me!"

Patrick seems to finally have accepted that his little brother is around to stay. As much as possible, he still ignores him, but every so often I've noticed him show that at some point in the future he might care for this screaming thing who takes all his attention. Patrick shows lots of curiosity about things like how Nathan eats and Nathan's pacifier. Sometimes he'll bring me the pacifier when Nathan is crying, even though he hasn't quite figured out yet how to get it in his mouth.

The cutest thing I've seen Patrick do for his brother, though, was the other day when I was getting Nathan out of his swing (the swing he's already used more than Patrick ever did). I was on the phone at the time, so after I unlatched Nathan, I was adjusting the phone on my shoulder briefly before lifting him out of the swing. Patrick thought I must be taking too long and reached out his arms like he was going to try to rescue Nathan if I wasn't. I'm glad I got there before Patrick tried to lift him, but it was sweet to see.

On the other hand, though, Nathan seems to annoy Patrick more of the time. The crying in particular can draw several different reactions from Patrick. If he's in a funny mood, he'll yell right back at Nathan. It's always done in a silly way so that it's not quite as annoying and can actually relieve the tension when I can't get Nathan to stop crying. If Patrick's not being silly, though, he lets me know he's annoyed by the crying by sticking his fingers in my ears. He may not mean to be funny, but it relieves the tension just as well. I just wish I could do the same thing sometimes!

My Boys

I've been delaying writing the post all about what life is like with both boys because it seems that I can barely find a few minutes of empty arms (when I'm not trying to sleep) to organize my thoughts. Finally both boys are napping at the same time, though, so I'm taking full advantage of my five minutes before I expect Nathan to wake up hungry.

Nathan is fortunately taking after his big brother in one respect so far: his love of sleep. I can only hope this sticks around. He has plenty of awake periods during the day, but he tends to sleep well at night. He wakes up every three to four hours to nurse and sleeps--well, like a baby the rest of the time. I'm not suffering from lack of sleep nearly as badly as I expected to at this point. Of course, it helps that Patrick also consistently sleeps well all night, giving me plenty of time to catch as many z's as possible around Nathan's sleep schedule.

The only sleep problem we've encountered appears to have been a reaction to my diet. It seems that after making me crave so much chocolate for the last nine months, now Nathan has a strong reaction to it, keeping him awake like I'd had a cup of coffee shortly before. Any chocolate intake between lunch and bedtime will spell out a bad night's sleep for us all. That's not too cool of my youngest son.

Nathan is definitely a cuddler, too. I wondered when he was so reluctant to leave the warmth of my belly. During the day, he wants to be held as much as possible. The moments are rare when I can set him down happily for more than a couple of minutes at a time. He gets fussy quickly. Sometimes rocking him in his infant chair helps calm him down, and sometimes it doesn't. I need to try the swing that Patrick hated on Nathan. Maybe that will save my arms a little bit (not that I mind holding my baby one bit!).

Patrick is adjusting reasonably well. As expected, he's desperate for attention nearly all the time. Any time I have to hold or feed Nathan, Patrick is suddenly hovering around me, bringing me toys to play with with him or wanting to crawl into my lap. I can usually accommodate him, scooting over to hold him with the empty arm or playing along with whatever game he's playing with his toys at the moment. But sometimes even that isn't enough attention for him and his antics to get that attention get increasingly outlandish. Without a doubt, he knows what things are the biggest no-nos, and he'll go straight for those. Negative attention is still attention, after all.

At the same time, though, he seems to be coming to an awareness of his baby brother. There are times I've caught Patrick not only showing interest in Nathan but even doing something sweet for him. Patrick has stroked Nathan's hand or foot several times to attempt to calm his crying and even tried to rescue him from the infant chair when it was clear that was not where Nathan wanted to be (although that could have been either Patrick's newest obsession with latches or his possessiveness of the chair). He's also showing a lot of interest in the whole nursing thing. It hasn't gotten to the point of making me uncomfortable yet, but I'm starting to see boys' fascination with breasts. It certainly starts early!

I'm still waiting for a good opportunity to get pictures of the boys together. Right now the only way Patrick will get very close to Nathan is when I'm holding both of them, which makes taking pictures difficult. He's also a little careless about the "gentle" concept when it comes to his brother; I don't think he understands how much more fragile Nathan is than Mommy or Daddy. He's simply not mature enough to handle being alone next to his brother, much less holding him. It's too bad because I really want pictures of both my kids together.

Speaking of pictures, I've been taking them regularly of both boys, but as usual I'm running into the problem of finding computer time to download, edit, and post them. Trust me when I say you'll know right away when I do.

Two Check-Ups

Today we had check-ups for both boys. This was my first outing alone with the two of them, and I'm proud to say I survived. It was not without its mishaps, but they have more to do with having two kids who both need to be confined to either a stroller or infant chair while en route to the final destination. Ever try carrying an infant chair while pushing a stroller? It's not as easy as it looks, and trust me when I say it doesn't even look easy. Fortunately both boys were on their best behavior (until we were leaving and Nathan got hungry).

Okay, on to what the doctor said. Patrick was there a few days early for his two-year check-up. (Two years?! It still doesn't sound right to me.) He weighed in--on the big boy scale--at 21.8 pounds and is now 31 inches tall. Both are still remarkably small for his age but are big leaps based on his growth pattern over the past two years. In other words, the doctor was quite happy with his physical progress. He is also right on par developmentally, which was a relief to hear.

The funniest part was watching Patrick with the doctor. He recognized him for the grandfatherly type that he is and adopted him as part of the family right away. He was bringing him toys to play with and didn't resist at all to the poking and prodding. I think he kind of liked the attention. The doctor was thoroughly impressed with that, saying that most two-year-olds hate even being at the doctor's office.

Nathan's part of the appointment was even easier. He needed a routine blood check, which he naturally screamed through. Fortunately he's still at that age where he forgets pain quickly, and he stopped crying just a few minutes later. The most interesting part of his appointment was when they did his weight check. If you remember, he was born at 8 lbs, 2 oz and dropped to 7 lbs, 10 oz by his appointment last Tuesday. He weighed in at 8 lbs, 11 oz today. That's up a full pound in about a week. Yeah, I doubt we'll have too much trouble keeping him on the charts.

My First Broken Bone

My doctor confirmed today that I've most likely suffered my first ever broken bone. It seems as though Nathan broke my tailbone during his birth. It's frustrating because there's nothing that can be done to help it heal; I'm just on lots of pain meds to help me cope until it does. Unfortunately, some of the more effective medicine has also been making me sick, so I've been trying to suffer without it. Needless to say, the pain has made taking care of both Patrick and Nathan difficult. Matt has been a huge help, but his boss doesn't seem to like the idea of him avoiding work until I'm all healed up.

So I'm sorry I haven't been keeping up with updates here often enough, and I'm not taking nearly enough pictures to satisfy even myself, much less posting the ones I have. I hope you'll all be understanding as I work toward getting used to taking care of two children on my own during the day and coping with the pain at the same time. Eventually I'll feel better, and life will settle into a decent routine again--and then I'll be able to blog on a more regular basis again.

Speculation

Matt and I have spent lots of time speculating lately. We make guesses as to exactly when we think Nathan will make his grand entrance (current guess is August 24), what he'll look like, how he'll be like or different from his brother, what life will be like with two.

We're incredibly curious, though, as to how Patrick will react to his little brother. We can't decide whether he'll embrace his role as the big brother or rebel to the new little crying being in the house that steals all his attention. Or maybe he'll just ignore his brother altogether until he starts moving and becomes more of a nuisance.

I personally think it's going to be a combination of all those. At first, I doubt he will understand that this baby will be staying in our house permanently. He's at least somewhat curious about babies right now, so that may make the transition a little easier. I don't think any rebellion will start until he recognizes this attention-stealer is home to stay.

He is still a toddler, however, and with that comes plenty of tantrums, especially when he's so used to being the center of attention everywhere he goes. I think after a few weeks or months we'll start dealing with some bizarre behavior for Patrick, the kind that demands attention and defies us for the mere sake of being defiant. I hope I'm ready for this kind of rebellion, in the midst of sleeplessness that I'll be experiencing at the time.

But on the other hand, I know my son pretty well. He has a super sweet sensitive side. He's the kind of kid that loves almost to excess, who will run up in the middle of playing hard to give me a hug or lay his head against my leg for a second. He's the kind of kid who needs his alone time and sleep as much as he needs his attention. He won't be able to ignore these parts of him, and between the rebellious streaks, I think he will want to love on his brother. As they grow up together, I suspect that Patrick will be protective of his baby brother (who will probably be bigger than him by the time either starts school), even when he acts mad at him.

I'm not looking forward to the toddler rebellion or the sibling rivalry, but I can't wait to see my sweet little boy develop into the sweet big brother I know he can be.

The Time Has Come

This past weekend I got to see my new baby Nathan. For the first time, he looked like a real little baby in there, not just an anonymous fetus. I am faced with the reality of being a mother to two completely different children.

With that realization has come the one that I cannot expect everything that worked to raise Patrick up to this point to work for Nathan. Nathan is an individual and deserves to have me recognize that. For that reason, I don't want to force Nathan to live as an afterthought on the blog I created for Patrick.

That being said, this is not Nathan's blog the way the other one was all about Patrick. This new blog will hopefully be a place for me to equally honor both my baby boys. I am hoping the new look and location will also help re-motivate me to blog the way I did in the early days of the old blog.

I am going to shoot for a format change as well. Perhaps it's my nesting instinct kicking in, but the seeming randomness of the old blog was starting to bother me. You can expect me to have three basic types of posts from here on out: picture posts, story posts, and update posts. Hopefully the types should be clear enough from their names. I am tired of randomly including unrelated pictures with stories of their own in the middle of an update post. Maybe this little extra forethought about what I want the blog to be will help keep me on track.

Please check back often over the next few days. I've been collecting pictures and stories to post--in separate posts, of course--over the last week or so and expect to post as much as several times a day for a while to get caught up.