Nine Months

Dear Nathan,

At nine months you are more special than ever. Did you realize that sometime around this day, you will have officially been outside my belly longer than you were in it? I guess that means you are quickly leaving behind your babyness and approaching big boy status.
This month hasn't brought on too many changes, though, which is actually kind of a relief. I get to keep you as my little baby just a bit longer. You see, I can tell that you're going to figure out how to start crawling any day now, and at that point there is no turning back. You're on a fast track to toddlerhood the second you learn about mobility. And while that isn't necessarily a bad thing, I'm not quite sure I can handle two active, mobile toddlers at once.

It's amazing how social you are, even at this young age. I'd like to blame it on your older brother and his example, but I wonder if you might just naturally be this way. Lately you have been working extra hard to win the affections of the other family members: Daddy, Patrick, and Amber. You and Amber had that special relationship from the start, and that continues. And it's not like Daddy isn't easy to win over with that big heart of his. All you have to do is babble, "Dadada" while looking at him, and he's gone.

Getting Patrick's attention, however, is your Mount Everest. Like any other toddler, he tends to be a bit self-absorbed, so you consider it a victory any time he's paying you attention, even if it's not quite as sweet and gentle as you might like. The last few weeks in particular, you have willingly submitted to being his toy, laughing as he plays peek-a-boo with you and shoves various toys at you only to take them back seconds later. I think you know that no matter how rough he can get, the second you get upset he will comfort you. You can wake him up in the middle of the night, making him cry as well, but the second he's comfortable again, he will start talking to you to comfort you until you've fallen back asleep. That's the kind of relationship I always hoped you would have, and it brings tears to my eyes to see how loving the two of you are with each other, with very little of the sibling rivalry I so feared.

For some time in there, I started mourning that your increasing closeness with the rest of our family meant that our special relationship wasn't as special as it once was. I suspect now, though, that it is simply because I am around all the time. You don't appear to cherish me as much because you don't have to work for my affection or attention. Yesterday morning, however, Daddy let me sleep late while he took care of you and Patrick in the morning. You were perfectly happy with the arrangements--until you saw me after I got up. At that point, you wanted nothing else, not even toys, until we had had some snuggle time together. I realized then that I still mean everything to you; you are still a Mommy's boy after all. And I suppose that as long as you keep coming back to me like that, I will willingly surrender you to everyone else around you whom you also love.

You are one very active boy, Nathan. This month more than any other, you have spent every waking minute playing. Just like your brother, everything is a toy. If you have been set somewhere without a toy in reach, you simply reach for whatever you can, playing with that object as though it was intended for you after all. It's been interesting watching your interest level in toys change over the last month or so. Suddenly you aren't content playing with one rattle or simple toy for hours; instead you get bored with the same few toys easily and insist on having them regularly swapped. It also astounds me to see that you seem to know how to play with each toy, even if you don't quite have the dexterity to follow through. Even two or three months ago you were attempting to replace the rings on the ring stacker. It's pretty clear to me that your mind works far in advance of your body. Honestly, I think I'd rather have it that way. It's just like the rest of us in your family.

Did you think I was going to go a whole month without commenting on your happy disposition? Of course I couldn't leave that out. Your goofy, toothy grin is absolutely contagious, and you keep me from losing my mind on some of Patrick's tougher days by flashing me that silly smile. You constantly remind me that life isn't all that serious after all and that there is much around us to enjoy and laugh at. I hope and pray that you never let life beat you down and that you can stay this happy and lighthearted throughout your entire life.

Sometimes I wonder what life would have been like without you, if I had been a mommy of just one. But then I remember how much it has enriched my life to have two sweet little boys, how much YOU have enriched my life. God certainly knew what He was doing when He sent you to me. I love you so much, my goofy, grinny, adorable, charming little Nathan.

Mommy