Cranky Nathan

Last night and today we got to see Cranky Nathan, the very one I wrote about yesterday. I had my suspicions about why he chose now to rear his head, and my suspicions were confirmed a little while ago: one tiny corner of his left molar. The right one is close enough to poking through that it's hard to tell for sure that it hasn't already. Fortunately, this phase should truly be short-lived; as soon as those molars finish cutting through in the next day or so, he should be back to normal.

Thirteen Months

Dear Nathan,

You're starting to sound so old. I rarely ever give your age in months anymore, but if anyone asked, I would now get to say you're thirteen months old. It's not a big milestone by any means, but one worth mentioning anyway.
You're still little enough that I hear older kids shout, "Look, Mommy! A baby!" when we walk by, but you're quickly outgrowing that phase. Pretty soon that will be you looking at younger children, telling me you see a baby.
And I have no doubts that it won't be long until that happens. You are quickly catching up to your brother in language skills. You desperately want to be like him in every possible way, and his slightly lagging language skills have left an opening for you to catch up to him. Just this afternoon, you told me "da" while you were holding a rubber ducky and then "ca, ca" (quack, quack, I think). Apparently you're paying more attention to our bedtime book about farm animals than I'd realized.
You were also excited today to see Amber when you woke up from your nap. You said something that sounded like, "Hi, Amber," followed by "gi ga," which sounded remarkably like your brother's version of "good girl." If I add these new phrases to all the words and phrases you've already been saying, it's safe to say you are at least on target with the langauge development I'd expect for your age (not that I really know what to expect based on past experiences), if not a little ahead.
Most of the time it's fun to take you out places. You are still quite the charmer and look excited about every single outing. I usually carry you in the baby carrier, and you hang there happily, kicking your feet, waving your arms, and grinning that famous smile of yours. You never fail to get a smile out of even the most grumpy-looking people. I love watching you bring joy to everyone's life, even people you've never seen before and will probably never see again.
But Nathan, that doesn't begin to compare to the joy you bring to my life, and all of us who get to spend so much time with you. If more families ended up with children like you, there would be population boom unlike what has ever been seen before. You are the picture of perfection of babyhood, the one every mother dreams about but never gets. Except for lucky, lucky me.

Still, I know that perfect as you are now, it would be foolish of me to place that burden of perfection on you. Before I know it, you will have fallen headfirst into the terrible twos, and I will rely on my memories of these first thirteen (and hopefully more) months to take me through the toddler years. You have my permission to fail, to turn into that cranky baby that must be hidden somewhere behind those bright eyes and permanent smile. I've seen enough of you already to know that this happy baby I've seen for the past thirteen months is the real you, and you'll be back eventually when you let the cranky baby take over.
In the meantime, you are working to keep up with your big brother in ways other than talking. You are soooo close to crawling the real way, but every time it looks like you're going to give it a try, you fall back on your tried and true scoot-crawl. You're amazingly fast at it. You're already a handful to keep up with when you get scooting.
But more than anything, you want to be on your feet, standing. You can balance for a couple of seconds without any support, although you don't allow those opportunities often, and I've watched you watch your brother walk and run with that jealous glint in your eyes. I'm sure it won't be long before you summon your inner courage and toddle those first few steps after him--I'm sure it will be after Patrick. And then? I don't know what I'll have to do to keep up with both of you.
At least at the end of the day, when all of your energy is spent, you still crash like a baby. I never get tired of the sight of your sweet, innocent face relaxed in sleep. Never is my urge to love and comfort and protect you from all the hurts of the world any stronger. At the end of the day, regardless of how mature you get, you are still just my little baby, and nothing can take that away from me. And that makes me as deliriously happy as you always are.

I love you, sweet Nathan.

Mommy

A Few Things

I'm sorry I've been such a bad blogger lately. I've had lots of things to blog about but haven't had the motivation to actually sit down and write about them, much less download all the pictures I have and upload them to blogger. I'll get there eventually, I promise. In the meantime, here are a few random stories, etc. from the last week or two that I never got around to writing about:

--Nathan had his one-year check-up almost two weeks ago. Obviously we learned nothing monumental, otherwise you would have heard something a little before now. It was mostly a weight and height check. If you're interested, he's right at 19 pounds, which is somewhere around the 5th percentile (a bit of a drop from his birth weight percentile). His height is at 29 1/2 inches, which is about average. Surely this must be a phase, where he is predicted to grow to an average height but is a beanpole. He also got four different shots with several more when we go back for Patrick's three-year check-up. Of course he cried, but he got over it pretty fast too.

--Patrick's been developing his sense of humor, surprising Matt and me with the silly things he does that seem to come out of nowhere. For example, the other day we were eating French fries with dinner and Patrick decided they looked better as toys than actual food. He kept putting one on his head and giggling. When that started to get old, he put one under his nose like a mustache. That one definitely got Matt and me laughing. Where did he come up with that? I don't know that he's seen anyone turn food into a mustache before, so we think that's pretty creative of him.

--Along the same lines, he's had lots of fun playing with his Mr. Potato Head, one of his birthday presents. He likes trading out the body parts, making some pretty silly looking faces (although he usually keeps them relatively normal, with eyes, nose, mouth, etc in their proper places). He's smart enough to recognize the body parts, too, so when he saw his brother wanting to chew on the various body parts, he had the idea to give him a mouth to chew on. I didn't realize what he was doing until he started to laugh. Then I looked up at Nathan and saw Mr. Potato Head's mouth on him. It made a hilarious picture (too bad I wasn't fast enough to snap any). We've since had to talk about what is okay and not okay to give to Nathan to chew on, but I can't fault him on his creativity and sense of humor to come up with the stunt in the first place.

--School is still going well for Patrick. I got to help out with their class's Safety Day last week, which means I got to sit and watch Patrick play with all his school friends for a little while. It was a neat experience. I learned a lot more about Patrick by getting to see him in a different environment, one where I am not usually around. It is clear to see he has lots of fun playing with his friends. But I feel bad for his poor teachers. It was not an easy job wrangling all those two-year-olds, even with four of us (the two teachers and two moms helping). I'll probably help again on Circus Day, their replacement for Halloween.

--Nathan's language has been taking off. Not only does he say "Mama," "Dada," "Gaga," and "Amba",' but he's started saying, "Hi," and "Bye" as well. He says both in this adorable sing-songy voice that makes everyone smile. He knows when to say them too, which I find kind of impressive. Lately he's also been adding his baby version of "See you in a little while" or "See you later" to the end of it: "Seeyawhy" or "Seeyalay." If you remember, Patrick said both phrases pretty early too. My favorite, though, is "Iwuhyuh," his version of "I love you." It's totally adorable.

--Then just yesterday, Nathan started waving for hi and bye. It's a little hard to distinguish from his excited arm wave, but you can tell it's a real wave because he only uses one arm and says, "Bye" or "Hi" with it. So cute!

Three

Dear Patrick,

Today you turn three years old, at exactly 4:17. With any luck you will ring in your birth moment a little more peacefully than you did three years ago, hopefully sleeping today. Even while you sleep through it, though, I'll notice it and remember for you.
These last three years have been a wild roller coaster ride. Each time it seems like things are settling down again, like we know what to expect from you, you surprise us again. For you, routines are made only to be changed. Lately, you have been all about school. Each day exists only to get you back to a school day, and you constantly talk about your teachers and friends at school. You beg all day long to "go see teacher," and your excitement can't be contained when I finally agree that yes, it is a school day.
School is teaching you far more than your colors and shapes, though. You are learning how to be social, how to be a good friend, and why we don't do mean things like throw and push. You are learning how to follow a set routine that isn't necessarily in your agenda and that the world doesn't revolve around you. We're finding these lessons you are attempting to learn at school are difficult to translate at home, so we've been struggling quite a bit over the last few weeks to help you transition between school and home--and to teach you that while the routines may differ, the same rules like no throwing and pushing still apply.
But school is helping you grow up--and fast. You are now actually playing with your brother, and he loves all the attention, even when it gets a bit too rough for him at times. I can already foresee the future months and years of the two of you wrestling. Just remember that it's quite likely he will end up with a size advantage over you before much longer, and you may regret starting the wrestling matches eventually. Still, it warms my heart to watch you play with your brother and how much you two enjoy each other's company.
You are learning compassion, too. I love to hear you ask me or Daddy or Gaga (whom you also call Na-hin sometimes now) in your little voice, "You okay?" You ask even when you're pretty sure there's nothing wrong. I guess you've picked that up from me and Daddy, but I'm glad it is one of the things you have chosen to repeat. It shows a sweet spirit underneath that stubborn exterior.

School is also starting to develop your language skills even further. Although I can tell your language is still behind that of your friends, you are starting to catch up. More and more you are talking in full sentences, and you attempt to tell me about your school day when you get home, even if it takes a little interpreting on my part. You readily repeat lots of words and phrases you hear Daddy and me say--unless, of course, we ask you to. I can't tell you how much I love getting to hear you chatter on at meals or our little snack time after school. Some of the things you say--like asking me to stay in your room this morning with you--make me feel more special than anything else you have done in your short life.
Even when you are fighting against us, you are so full of life. That is what tends to get you in trouble the most. You get so involved in playing or making a mess that you tune out all the warnings from me or Daddy and end up in time-out as a result. I'm finally starting to understand you, though, and your inability to be distracted from whatever activity you have in mind, even if it results in a punishment. It dawned on me yesterday that I am just as frustrated when people try to distract me once I have my mind set on doing something. I'm going to start working on patience with you in this area because it is how I would want people to deal with me. But I expect compromise, too; I can't be too patient with you when you are risking your safety or that of someone else, like your brother.
For example, last week as we were walking into school, you darted out in front of the car into the parking lot while I was still gathering all your school stuff from the car. I managed to catch you before you got too far, and there were thankfully no cars coming right then, but it scared me. Your inability to stop when I screamed your name, panicked, has haunted me ever since. I had numerous nightmares about you disappearing or getting hurt or worse all that night. As frustrated as we can get with you sometimes, I know part of me would die inside if I let anything like that happen to you.
Over the last three years you have certainly enriched our lives, much more than I ever thought possible. I won't lie and pretend it's always easy to be your parent--probably anyone's parent--but it's worth it. I am so entwined in your little fingers now that it would rip my heart out for anything to happen to you. In fact, it will rip my heart out each time you grow just a little more independent, like your first day of kindergarten and your first date and college. I just hope that you never grow too big and independent to stop being my sweet little boy, that you never grow up too much to refuse to give me a sweet kiss when you wake me up on Saturday mornings. Because kisses like that, and moments like that, are the ones that make up for every single frustrating one in between.

Patrick's ECI graduation yesterday

Love,

Mommy