Snakes and Snails and Puppy Dog Tales

Birthday Pictures

2009-10-08T17:17:00.002-05:00

I finally got around to downloading new pictures, including the first day of "morning school" (MDO), Nathan's birthday, Patrick's birthday, and many random pictures. Enjoy, and if you're curious about the stories behind any, please e-mail and ask!

2009-07-10T13:40:00.002-05:00

I have some more pictures uploaded that I've taken recently. They include some posed shots I tried with the boys that didn't turn out as well as I'd hoped, but I ended up with a few cute ones anyway. (I bribed Patrick with yogurt, so unsurprisingly his are much better than usual.)

Go here to see such gems as these, as well as a picture of our brand-new furniture:

Vacation Pictures

2009-07-01T17:43:00.001-05:00

Interested in pictures from last week's vacation? Click here.

A Conversation with Patrick

2009-06-02T15:49:00.002-05:00

Last night before bed:

Matt: Patrick, what sound does a dog make?

Patrick: Bock, bock!

Matt: Patrick, what sound does a kitty cat make?

Patrick: Mee-ow!

Matt: Patrick, what sound does a Patrick make?

Patrick: Talk, talk, talk!

Matt and me (uncontrolled laughter): Yup, that's about right, Patrick!

2009-05-22T17:11:00.003-05:00

Why haven't I been around? Where have I been? I'll give you two pictures of a typical day around here, and you'll see why I don't make much time for it these days.

This is Patrick's "No" face. If this isn't typical three-year-old, I don't know what is. Tantrums galore.

And then there's Nathan. And yes, he's walking. Yes, he's tough to keep up with. And yes, he's loveable and adorable and crazy silly. What else needs to be said?

If you'd like to see the other pictures I've taken recently and not yet linked here, you can find them here and here.

Two Nathan Stories

2009-04-02T22:15:00.003-05:00

1. No, Nathan isn't quite walking yet. Every so often we catch him off-guard, and he proves that this delay in walking is a matter of will and not ability. The other day I was talking on the phone while playing on the floor with him. I put the phone on speaker and held it out, and that was all Nathan needed to take off walking--to catch the phone. Forget a carrot in front of a horse; this kid chases technology. He took probably a dozen steady steps before he realized what he was doing and fell on his bottom again. I think he considers scooting faster and less effort, but this gives me hope that he won't be scooting between his college classes a few years down the line.

2. Last night, we were going through our typical routine putting the boys down. Patrick insists on an ever-increasingly-detailed bedtime routine, one that now includes counting as we put his excessive sheets and blankets on him (don't worry, they never stay there for long). Patrick has been obsessed with numbers lately and counts every chance he gets. He easily counts to twenty and beyond.

Well, Matt was pausing between numbers as he grabbed the next blanket. "One..."

And from the other crib, we hear, "Too! Twee!"

Stunned, we stared at Nathan. He grinned his cheesiest grin for us.

Matt continued. "Four, five..."

"Siss!"

At this point, I was watching the whole thing with my jaw on the floor. Nathan continued to chime in at the correct times with ten, and several of the teens (they all sounded kind of alike, so I can't guarantee they were all the right ones in the right places).

Since then, we have prompted him several times to begin counting by saying, "One..." Sometimes he refuses to bite and grins that silly grin instead, like he's deliberately not doing what he knows we want him to do. Other times, though, he shows off by telling us several numbers in a row, always the next number after the one we've said.

That's right. Our eighteen-month-old can't (won't) walk, but he knows the majority of his numbers up to twenty. I don't see a whole lot of sports in his future, but some math competitions? Quite likely. That's my boy!

Also, new pictures, finally.

A Little Off the Top

2009-03-01T17:51:00.008-06:00

Some of you may have noticed my inconsistent blogging lately. I simply have not had the motivation to write much. Do not be concerned, however, because I will still be showing up from time to time to make sure you don't miss out on any important moments, like Nathan finally walking more than a clumsy, hesitant step or two.

That being said, I am here today because of one of those important moments. We decided yesterday that it was long past time to get the boys haircuts. Actually, it was a little soon for Patrick because I could still see eyes and ears behind the mop of hair, but Nathan was starting to look like a wild man. So he had his first ever haircut.

Of course he cried, the whole way through the haircut. Even having his brother right next to him, calmly sitting throughout his own haircut, didn't keep him from being traumatized by the event. Fortunately he calmed easily once he was out of the cute little car chair.

I, however, am not recovering quite as easily. I miss those adorable little baby curls that will soon only exist in his baby book. He's still as cute and charming as ever, but he is certainly more that little boy he's turning into than the baby he was.

Of course I have pictures. You can see the whole group of pictures here, but here are a few before and afters for you.

Patrick before

Patrick after

Nathan from the front, before

Nathan from the back, before

Nathan from the front, after

Nathan from the side/back, after

Pizza, Pizza

2009-01-27T21:01:00.002-06:00

Patrick's progress in his speech has been so gradual over the last few months that I sometimes forget how drastic it really is. Here are a few things he never used to do that would have been typical for his age:

--answer questions with "yes" or "no"
--answer questions at all without repeating the last thing you just said
--sing songs
--say full sentences
--connect several thoughts together
--use pronouns often
--say his numbers fluently
--say his alphabet
--name colors

I am now proud to say that he does every single one of these things. He surprises me with new things just about every day.

For example, last night Matt and I decided to order pizza for dinner. We're both fighting a nasty cold and didn't feel like cooking, so pizza was the natural solution. In the past, pizza has been hit or miss with Patrick, so we were stunned to watch him devour nearly three whole pieces of pizza. Yes, really. I was so shocked that I couldn't help but ask him, "Where are you putting it all?"

Matt and I couldn't keep from laughing as he replied, with a mouth full of pizza, "In my mouf!" That's my literal kid!

Sharing

2009-01-19T12:08:00.002-06:00

This is a first. Both boys are wearing the same size pajamas. It's laundry day, and somehow we went through all of Nathan's pajamas more quickly than usual. He was left with just really warm flannel footy pajamas, all just a bit too small for him the last time he wore them several months ago. I couldn't do that to him, so I fished through Patrick's drawer for some that might fit. The ones I found fit remarkably well, just a little long (but elastic around the ankles keep them from dragging). It seems that we are only a few months from sharing nearly all their clothes. I wonder if it will be easier or more difficult to have them sharing a wardrobe.

Hopefully it won't be too much of a problem. Patrick is usually really good about sharing. He always willingly offers his brother part of his meals and snacks, sometimes even when he's not supposed to, like when Nathan's mouth is already full. There are the expected problems with taking toys away from each other, but Patrick is trying really hard to learn when that is inappropriate.

It's great that the two are playing together now, too. Sometimes they get a little wound up and play games that are a bit out of my comfort zone for them, like the open/close the door game, but it makes life a little easier when their games are less dangerous. I particularly like the game where Patrick mimics Nathan. It's hilarious to watch both of them scooting around the floor, like a crazy little choo-choo train. Nathan flourishes under the attention of his big brother as well. I can tell already that the two are going to be very close as they get older. It's a good thing, if they're going to grow up sharing a wardrobe.

You'll be interested to know that I finally got around to downloading pictures. I have pictures from Christmas, both places, and a few of Patrick riding his tricycle that Santa left at our house while we were gone, then a few I took of the boys yesterday. You can find them here (can you tell it's a lot easier on me to just link them?). Enjoy.

Slacker

2009-01-12T12:42:00.003-06:00

Yup, I've been a huge slacker where this blog is concerned. Anybody remember when I used to post every single day, with pictures? I have proof I used to, but I can barely remember those days myself. Somehow the time just gets away from me with taking care of two VERY active children.

Since I last posted, we have celebrated Christmas and New Year's, and life has been back to normal for a full week again already.

We spent Christmas with my family--the whole family. During the days, there were ten adults, four children (well, four and a half, if you count my niece Anna's future baby brother or sister), three dogs, and the elusive cat. I think everyone was glad when we took two adults and two kids out of the picture in the evenings when we went back to our hotel each night. It was a chaotic few days, but lots of fun and I'm glad we didn't miss out on the festivities.

The kids banked for Christmas. When we got home, we cleaned out all but a few of their pre-Christmas toys to make room for all the new ones, and they haven't missed any of the old ones. They simply got that many new toys. Matt and I were definitely blessed as well, with more than we know what to do with.

The day after Christmas, we went to Big Spring to spend a few days with Matt's family as well. (This is where about half of the kids' toys came from; I told you they banked!) It was a little less chaotic there, until the dogs started running, but also a cherished family time.

I didn't take many pictures of our holiday, unfortunately. (I told you I was slacking.) In Dallas, both my brothers were there with their professional-quality cameras, that I kept mine in its case almost the whole time. I'll have to get some pictures from them. I also didn't take too many in Big Spring, but thankfully a few more than in Dallas. The problem is that they are all still on my camera. Yes, this long after our vacation, I have yet to download any of the pictures from Christmas and before. In fact, I don't know that I've even taken any new pictures since we got back. Remember what I said about slacking? I'll either post the pictures or a link to them when I finally get around to downloading them.

The boys are both growing so much right now. Patrick's language seems to be going through another explosion. He speaks in full sentences most of the time, and some of the things he comes up with crack me up. For example, yesterday when I was changing his diaper, Amber came poking her nose up to see what the fuss was about and sniff out whether it was a dirty diaper. I shooed her away as usual, and Patrick had to comment on it. "Amber eat poop?" he asked. I reassured him that I thought that was unlikely, but I thought it was hilarious that he thought that was the reason I was keeping her nose away from his exposed bottom.

He still loves school and asks every day if he gets to ride the school bus. He loves even more when I tell him he's going to MDO first. He names all of his teachers by name. It's funny, though, that all of a sudden he has started clinging to me when it's time for me to leave him at MDO. Unless one of his teachers is holding him and playing with him, he won't let go of me. I don't think he dislikes being there; he'd just rather I got to stay and play with him.

Nathan's personality is what is most interesting about his developments. He is a total hoot. He makes up silly games to play with each of us, and that mischievious smile will get him out of trouble almost every time he does something he knows he's not supposed to. It's like his goal in life is to make people laugh, and he knows he's good at it. I still get comments all the time when we're out whether he's always that happy. Yes, he usually is (until he gets sleepy, as many of you got to discover over Christmas break).

No, he is still not walking yet. I honestly think he could if he wanted to, but he's a little timid about trying it. Besides, his scoot will get him places almost as fast as walking, so what's the point? I know eventually one day he will decide it's time to walk, and he'll be off. When that happens, we'll never catch him.

Over the last few weeks, Nathan has sprouted just about all the teeth he had left to cut. It made for some frustrating, sleepless nights when he was in the most pain, but we seem to be past that now. He sports a full set of teeth instead. No wonder he's suddenly so eager to try any "real" food we can put in front of him. Like his brother, his favorites currently include waffles and anything with lots of cheese.

Guess what I just realized? I have a group of pictures I downloaded right before Christmas that I never shared with you. Since I am quickly running out of time to write, I will just have to post the link, like I did last time. You can find some cute pictures, including Christmas-y ones of Nathan here.

Wait...Is That...SNOW???

2008-12-10T16:36:00.003-06:00

Can you believe it? It's been snowing here today!

You knew it would have to be something monumental to get me to blog again, right? I am truly sorry it has been so long, but I've been awfully distracted lately. I hope I'll be able to start making time for blogging again soon, but I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you.

I've been working on finding a new way to show off my pictures to you because they just take so long to upload on blogger. I put off blogging because I don't have the time to post the pictures I want to post next, and as a result I don't post anything at all for week after week.

So if you want to see some Thanksgiving pictures, go here. You can browse around through some other folders as well and see some of the last few weeks of photos before Thanksgiving that I never got around to posting.

Hopefully I can make some time soon to do a real post with some updates about the boys, but for now I think I'm going to enjoy this very rare snow with my boys.

Uh-Oh, Spaghettio

2008-11-20T13:08:00.003-06:00

It was one of those days when nothing seemed to be going right. I was late picking Patrick up from MDO, they hadn't fed him lunch before I got him so he had to eat in the car, the check engine light came on as we left the church, and I was stressed.

Even after Patrick got off on the school bus successfully, with a full belly, all his clothes, and on time, I was still cranky. I was already at the end of my patience when Nathan decided to play around with lunch.

He started throwing his food over the side, a new habit he's picked up that Amber loves as much as I hate. I warned him in the mommy voice, gave him the mommy look, and watched as he smiled his impish grin and did it again.

I was debating whether he would understand a time-out and what the next best punishment would be when he did it one more time. One more puff hit the floor, and Amber dove for it.

I put on my best, most stern face and was ready to launch into punishment mode (which I hadn't quite decided on yet) when he got that glint in his eyes and said it: "Uh-oh, spaeeo!"

I fought the smile back and pulled the finger out (you know which one I'm talking about--the lecturing pointer finger) to try yet again to discipline him.

"Uh-oh! Spaeeo!"

This time I gave up and dissolved into laughter. He had me beat, and I knew it. Instead of turning the misbehavior into a teaching lesson for him to learn obedience, I let him turn the moment into a lesson on living in the moment for me. So Amber got one more puff--at least I don't have to clean the floor of the mess.

It was much more important to take the moment to enjoy my crazy boy and congratulate him for not only saying for the first time the phrase I'd been working on teaching him, but to have chosen the absolute best moment to spring it on me.

But now I know just how far advanced his manipulative skills are. I think it's going to be interesting staying a step ahead of him in the coming years.

Growing and Changing

2008-11-16T19:50:00.003-06:00

I've been so bad about updating lately. I have lots of pictures to post, but those will have to wait for when I have more time (whenever that will be).

Patrick is thriving at school. He literally runs to the school bus when it gets here and comes home content and tired. He asks--begs--every single day to go to school. In the week or so since he started, his language has started to take off. Almost every single day I notice a new word or some new grammatical change (like calling things "mine"--"my bed"). He will sometimes sing songs now and shows off with how much of the alphabet he knows. We didn't even know he could recite the alphabet, and he basically knows the whole thing!

We are still going to MDO on Tuesday and Thursday mornings, and he seems to be benefitting from the extra socialization. I love that he's staying in that familiar environment as he's adding the new preschool.

Nathan is still growing like crazy too. He has started bravely standing unassisted for a few seconds at a time. I think he could do longer, but he gets scared and grabs something just to be sure he doesn't fall.

He, too, is becoming more social. He says many words and phrases that he hears often and sometimes uses them to communicate his wants to us (like "Dada, see you in a little while" to tell me he wants to see his daddy). He has found all sorts of fun games he likes to play at dinner or in his bed and loves it when we play along.

The two boys are growing more fond of each other each week. They will play together, even if it takes a lot of moderation to keep fussing over toys to a minimum. My favorite sight, though, is watching Patrick give Nathan a hug before bed, something he now insists on. That gentle kiss on the top of Nathan's head proves to me that Patrick is sweet and compassionate underneath all that energy we see all day long.

The Second First Day of School

2008-11-05T12:51:00.003-06:00

Patrick just left to go to school. On the bus.

Confused? How about I back up to Monday to clarify what happened...

On Monday Patrick had his first ARD with the school district. You might remember that he had graduated out of the ECI program when he turned three. At that point, he is tested by the school district to see if he qualifies for special ed. The ARD is the official meeting that inducts him into the special ed program. (It will also be a yearly meeting we have to make sure his needs are still being met and will hopefully one day dismiss him from the program.)

At Patrick's ARD on Monday, we learned that he does indeed qualify for special ed services under what they call a speech impairment. Really, they didn't find anything other than what we already knew. His only problems have to do with understanding speech, expressing himself, and talking socially.

The special ed teachers recommended that Patrick start their pre-school program there. It runs every afternoon from 12:45-3:45. He also rides the bus to get there. (Don't worry, it's a special bus for special ed students--yes, it's a short bus--and it has a carseat in it for him.)

This will be a good thing for him. Patrick will get more specific help for his problems from professionals who know how to help him. He will also get a chance to socialize with many different kids from different backgrounds with different problems. It's my hope that after a year or so of this pre-school, he will have caught up to the point that he no longer qualifies for special ed. Unlike many other students in their program, Patrick's problem is not (should not) be a lifelong problem and will likely resolve itself after some time of specifically addressing it.

After much thought and consideration, Patrick will try to stay in his MDO program at the moment. He won't be able to stay the whole time so that he can be home in time to catch the bus for pre-school, but we would like for him to continue in the school environment he already knows and loves. The teachers there are wonderful and so nurturing, and I would hate for Patrick to miss out on the church education he gets there as well. I also like that he gets a chance to socialize with "normal" kids, kids that don't require the extra help that his pre-school friends will. MDO will help create a more well-rounded kid, I hope.

Of course, having that busy a schedule twice a week may turn out to be too much for him. The next few weeks will be a trial period to see how he does before we make any final decisions about staying in MDO. Please be praying for us as we are forced to make some final decision.

It was really kind of weird to send my oldest son off to school on the bus for the first time today. He took it like a man--okay, really like Patrick--and didn't shed a tear. He was smiling from the excitement of it all. Me? Not so much. I'm a little scared about how he is doing all by himself in a new place and a new situation. I'm sure my resilient little boy is loving the adventure of it all, though. I just hope he doesn't mind the huge bear hug he's going to get from me when he gets home.

Halloween '08

2008-11-01T13:31:00.003-05:00

This year we didn't do much for Halloween. We're still fighting snotty noses, coughs, and incoming molars, so we've been pretty low-key lately. The big excitement was Patrick's Circus Day at school on Thursday. It's their replacement for Halloween, where the kids could wear non-scary costumes to school. Nathan and I went for the festivities, both boys complete with circus-themed costumes. Unfortunately I have no pictures of the peanut (Nathan, wearing Patrick's costume from last year) or the tiger at school. I'm hoping I'll get some pictures from the other parents who were there or the teachers. It was just too difficult to wrangle Nathan, Patrick, and that huge camera.

For Halloween yesterday, the boys did wear their costumes for a little while so I could get pictures. We went a different route with the theme this year. Patrick is wearing a tiger costume, similar to the one I and my three siblings each wore when we were about Patrick's age. Nathan is wearing a pumpkin costume, reminiscent of one of Matt's favorite costumes from his childhood.

I think he enjoyed chewing on the tie for the hat more than being a pumpkin, but it kept him happy anyway.

Oops, maybe not. We'll call this his mean jack-o-lantern face.

But generally he really was happy in the costume. He's the cutest pumpkin I've ever seen.

Patrick absolutely loves his tiger costume. He asks to wear it all the time. I particularly like his fashion sense, pairing it with his camouflage boots.

I had to get a back view. The tail is adorable.
It seems that Amber likes playing with cats as well as children. Really, she was good with the boys in costumes. She wanted to sniff them endlessly, of course, and was kind of excited, but I expected both reactions. At least she wasn't scared of the boys looking different.

It was difficult to get a picture of that cute face underneath the tiger face, so I'm glad I have this one.

And the one picture of the boys together in their costumes, both looking at the camera. It's harder than it looks. Maybe next year they'll pose together voluntarily.

Cranky Nathan

2008-10-23T13:45:00.003-05:00

Last night and today we got to see Cranky Nathan, the very one I wrote about yesterday. I had my suspicions about why he chose now to rear his head, and my suspicions were confirmed a little while ago: one tiny corner of his left molar. The right one is close enough to poking through that it's hard to tell for sure that it hasn't already. Fortunately, this phase should truly be short-lived; as soon as those molars finish cutting through in the next day or so, he should be back to normal.

Thirteen Months

2008-10-22T16:48:00.003-05:00

Dear Nathan,

You're starting to sound so old. I rarely ever give your age in months anymore, but if anyone asked, I would now get to say you're thirteen months old. It's not a big milestone by any means, but one worth mentioning anyway.
You're still little enough that I hear older kids shout, "Look, Mommy! A baby!" when we walk by, but you're quickly outgrowing that phase. Pretty soon that will be you looking at younger children, telling me you see a baby.
And I have no doubts that it won't be long until that happens. You are quickly catching up to your brother in language skills. You desperately want to be like him in every possible way, and his slightly lagging language skills have left an opening for you to catch up to him. Just this afternoon, you told me "da" while you were holding a rubber ducky and then "ca, ca" (quack, quack, I think). Apparently you're paying more attention to our bedtime book about farm animals than I'd realized.
You were also excited today to see Amber when you woke up from your nap. You said something that sounded like, "Hi, Amber," followed by "gi ga," which sounded remarkably like your brother's version of "good girl." If I add these new phrases to all the words and phrases you've already been saying, it's safe to say you are at least on target with the langauge development I'd expect for your age (not that I really know what to expect based on past experiences), if not a little ahead.
Most of the time it's fun to take you out places. You are still quite the charmer and look excited about every single outing. I usually carry you in the baby carrier, and you hang there happily, kicking your feet, waving your arms, and grinning that famous smile of yours. You never fail to get a smile out of even the most grumpy-looking people. I love watching you bring joy to everyone's life, even people you've never seen before and will probably never see again.
But Nathan, that doesn't begin to compare to the joy you bring to my life, and all of us who get to spend so much time with you. If more families ended up with children like you, there would be population boom unlike what has ever been seen before. You are the picture of perfection of babyhood, the one every mother dreams about but never gets. Except for lucky, lucky me.

Still, I know that perfect as you are now, it would be foolish of me to place that burden of perfection on you. Before I know it, you will have fallen headfirst into the terrible twos, and I will rely on my memories of these first thirteen (and hopefully more) months to take me through the toddler years. You have my permission to fail, to turn into that cranky baby that must be hidden somewhere behind those bright eyes and permanent smile. I've seen enough of you already to know that this happy baby I've seen for the past thirteen months is the real you, and you'll be back eventually when you let the cranky baby take over.
In the meantime, you are working to keep up with your big brother in ways other than talking. You are soooo close to crawling the real way, but every time it looks like you're going to give it a try, you fall back on your tried and true scoot-crawl. You're amazingly fast at it. You're already a handful to keep up with when you get scooting.
But more than anything, you want to be on your feet, standing. You can balance for a couple of seconds without any support, although you don't allow those opportunities often, and I've watched you watch your brother walk and run with that jealous glint in your eyes. I'm sure it won't be long before you summon your inner courage and toddle those first few steps after him--I'm sure it will be after Patrick. And then? I don't know what I'll have to do to keep up with both of you.
At least at the end of the day, when all of your energy is spent, you still crash like a baby. I never get tired of the sight of your sweet, innocent face relaxed in sleep. Never is my urge to love and comfort and protect you from all the hurts of the world any stronger. At the end of the day, regardless of how mature you get, you are still just my little baby, and nothing can take that away from me. And that makes me as deliriously happy as you always are.

I love you, sweet Nathan.

Mommy

A Few Things

2008-10-15T12:10:00.003-05:00

I'm sorry I've been such a bad blogger lately. I've had lots of things to blog about but haven't had the motivation to actually sit down and write about them, much less download all the pictures I have and upload them to blogger. I'll get there eventually, I promise. In the meantime, here are a few random stories, etc. from the last week or two that I never got around to writing about:

--Nathan had his one-year check-up almost two weeks ago. Obviously we learned nothing monumental, otherwise you would have heard something a little before now. It was mostly a weight and height check. If you're interested, he's right at 19 pounds, which is somewhere around the 5th percentile (a bit of a drop from his birth weight percentile). His height is at 29 1/2 inches, which is about average. Surely this must be a phase, where he is predicted to grow to an average height but is a beanpole. He also got four different shots with several more when we go back for Patrick's three-year check-up. Of course he cried, but he got over it pretty fast too.

--Patrick's been developing his sense of humor, surprising Matt and me with the silly things he does that seem to come out of nowhere. For example, the other day we were eating French fries with dinner and Patrick decided they looked better as toys than actual food. He kept putting one on his head and giggling. When that started to get old, he put one under his nose like a mustache. That one definitely got Matt and me laughing. Where did he come up with that? I don't know that he's seen anyone turn food into a mustache before, so we think that's pretty creative of him.

--Along the same lines, he's had lots of fun playing with his Mr. Potato Head, one of his birthday presents. He likes trading out the body parts, making some pretty silly looking faces (although he usually keeps them relatively normal, with eyes, nose, mouth, etc in their proper places). He's smart enough to recognize the body parts, too, so when he saw his brother wanting to chew on the various body parts, he had the idea to give him a mouth to chew on. I didn't realize what he was doing until he started to laugh. Then I looked up at Nathan and saw Mr. Potato Head's mouth on him. It made a hilarious picture (too bad I wasn't fast enough to snap any). We've since had to talk about what is okay and not okay to give to Nathan to chew on, but I can't fault him on his creativity and sense of humor to come up with the stunt in the first place.

--School is still going well for Patrick. I got to help out with their class's Safety Day last week, which means I got to sit and watch Patrick play with all his school friends for a little while. It was a neat experience. I learned a lot more about Patrick by getting to see him in a different environment, one where I am not usually around. It is clear to see he has lots of fun playing with his friends. But I feel bad for his poor teachers. It was not an easy job wrangling all those two-year-olds, even with four of us (the two teachers and two moms helping). I'll probably help again on Circus Day, their replacement for Halloween.

--Nathan's language has been taking off. Not only does he say "Mama," "Dada," "Gaga," and "Amba",' but he's started saying, "Hi," and "Bye" as well. He says both in this adorable sing-songy voice that makes everyone smile. He knows when to say them too, which I find kind of impressive. Lately he's also been adding his baby version of "See you in a little while" or "See you later" to the end of it: "Seeyawhy" or "Seeyalay." If you remember, Patrick said both phrases pretty early too. My favorite, though, is "Iwuhyuh," his version of "I love you." It's totally adorable.

--Then just yesterday, Nathan started waving for hi and bye. It's a little hard to distinguish from his excited arm wave, but you can tell it's a real wave because he only uses one arm and says, "Bye" or "Hi" with it. So cute!

Three

2008-10-07T13:27:00.002-05:00

Dear Patrick,

Today you turn three years old, at exactly 4:17. With any luck you will ring in your birth moment a little more peacefully than you did three years ago, hopefully sleeping today. Even while you sleep through it, though, I'll notice it and remember for you.
These last three years have been a wild roller coaster ride. Each time it seems like things are settling down again, like we know what to expect from you, you surprise us again. For you, routines are made only to be changed. Lately, you have been all about school. Each day exists only to get you back to a school day, and you constantly talk about your teachers and friends at school. You beg all day long to "go see teacher," and your excitement can't be contained when I finally agree that yes, it is a school day.
School is teaching you far more than your colors and shapes, though. You are learning how to be social, how to be a good friend, and why we don't do mean things like throw and push. You are learning how to follow a set routine that isn't necessarily in your agenda and that the world doesn't revolve around you. We're finding these lessons you are attempting to learn at school are difficult to translate at home, so we've been struggling quite a bit over the last few weeks to help you transition between school and home--and to teach you that while the routines may differ, the same rules like no throwing and pushing still apply.
But school is helping you grow up--and fast. You are now actually playing with your brother, and he loves all the attention, even when it gets a bit too rough for him at times. I can already foresee the future months and years of the two of you wrestling. Just remember that it's quite likely he will end up with a size advantage over you before much longer, and you may regret starting the wrestling matches eventually. Still, it warms my heart to watch you play with your brother and how much you two enjoy each other's company.
You are learning compassion, too. I love to hear you ask me or Daddy or Gaga (whom you also call Na-hin sometimes now) in your little voice, "You okay?" You ask even when you're pretty sure there's nothing wrong. I guess you've picked that up from me and Daddy, but I'm glad it is one of the things you have chosen to repeat. It shows a sweet spirit underneath that stubborn exterior.

School is also starting to develop your language skills even further. Although I can tell your language is still behind that of your friends, you are starting to catch up. More and more you are talking in full sentences, and you attempt to tell me about your school day when you get home, even if it takes a little interpreting on my part. You readily repeat lots of words and phrases you hear Daddy and me say--unless, of course, we ask you to. I can't tell you how much I love getting to hear you chatter on at meals or our little snack time after school. Some of the things you say--like asking me to stay in your room this morning with you--make me feel more special than anything else you have done in your short life.
Even when you are fighting against us, you are so full of life. That is what tends to get you in trouble the most. You get so involved in playing or making a mess that you tune out all the warnings from me or Daddy and end up in time-out as a result. I'm finally starting to understand you, though, and your inability to be distracted from whatever activity you have in mind, even if it results in a punishment. It dawned on me yesterday that I am just as frustrated when people try to distract me once I have my mind set on doing something. I'm going to start working on patience with you in this area because it is how I would want people to deal with me. But I expect compromise, too; I can't be too patient with you when you are risking your safety or that of someone else, like your brother.
For example, last week as we were walking into school, you darted out in front of the car into the parking lot while I was still gathering all your school stuff from the car. I managed to catch you before you got too far, and there were thankfully no cars coming right then, but it scared me. Your inability to stop when I screamed your name, panicked, has haunted me ever since. I had numerous nightmares about you disappearing or getting hurt or worse all that night. As frustrated as we can get with you sometimes, I know part of me would die inside if I let anything like that happen to you.
Over the last three years you have certainly enriched our lives, much more than I ever thought possible. I won't lie and pretend it's always easy to be your parent--probably anyone's parent--but it's worth it. I am so entwined in your little fingers now that it would rip my heart out for anything to happen to you. In fact, it will rip my heart out each time you grow just a little more independent, like your first day of kindergarten and your first date and college. I just hope that you never grow too big and independent to stop being my sweet little boy, that you never grow up too much to refuse to give me a sweet kiss when you wake me up on Saturday mornings. Because kisses like that, and moments like that, are the ones that make up for every single frustrating one in between.

Patrick's ECI graduation yesterday

Love,

Mommy

Nathan's Birthday Celebrations

2008-09-29T11:57:00.008-05:00

I'm only a week overdue on this post. I hope you'll forgive me for losing track of time over the last week.

We actually ended up having two celebrations for Nathan's first birthday. The first happened when we were in Dallas fleeing the aftermath of Ike. It was definitely impromptu, since we had no idea we were even going to be there a week before Nathan turned one. Please keep that in mind--how last-minute all of this was--when you see pictures where I'm not wearing make-up and the fact that all of our nicer clothes were dirty.

Despite the circumstances, though, it was great getting to celebrate with family. Of course my parents (Nana and Grandpa) were there, and Matt's grandparents also happened to be in town and came as well. It made the idea to have a cake for him turn into a real party, thrown together or not.
Nathan was thrilled with all his presents, but especially this card. Or maybe just getting to stand up next to the coffee table.
Patrick loves cameras, so he was doing everything he could to help Grammy fix hers.

This was Nathan's big toy at the party, a ride-on toy that makes all sorts of crazy sounds. Both boys love the toy.
I think that's a grin for the camera (thanks Mom for playing photographer for most of our party!).
And here we are as a family helping Nathan open one of his presents. Patrick had so much fun "helping" Nathan open gifts. Boy is his birthday going to be fun this year!
Again with the card. Who knew a card would be so fascinating?
His first taste of both chocolate and cake. He mostly picked at it but seemed to like the taste of the frosting pretty well and did manage to make quite a mess out of it...eventually.

See? His hair was coated in chocolate too. You can bet he had a birthday bath in store for him immediately after the party.
Nana, Grandpa, and the birthday boy
Grammy, Gramps, and the birthday boy
Mommy, Daddy, and the birthday boy
I look awful in the picture, but you can see how excited Nathan was by all the attention.

A few days later Patrick found the hat I'd taken out for Nathan's official first year pictures and insisted on wearing it. By the way, how do you think he knew this was a hat? He hadn't seen his brother wearing it at this point. Either way, it was cute and funny enough that I had to get a picture.

I decided to do something a little different for Nathan's cake this time around and made cupcakes instead. I also made a single layer round cake for something different if the cupcake thing didn't work out with the boys (it did). When I put it all together, i realized it looked kind of like a spider. I guess I should have put a face on it and make it look planned.

Here's Nathan waiting on his cake--or cupcake--trying to figure out why we're all singing off-key to him.
Patrick obviously enjoyed his taste of birthday cake. He's asked for it every single day since. Sometimes he'll find the birthday hat and put it on before asking, as though you have to be wearing the birthday hat to get birthday cake, like Nathan was on his birthday.
Nathan actually ate more of the cake this time, now that he knew what it was, but he managed to not make as big of a mess. He still ended up with another birthday bath, though.
Since he'd already opened half or more of his birthday gifts the week before, his loot pile wasn't as big this time, but we compensated by giving him bigger gifts.
Fortunately he could care less how many there were. He loved them all, and both boys play with his new toys all day every day. They are going to love getting to do this all over again in another week when Patrick turns three.

Looking Back

2008-09-23T17:25:00.008-05:00

Since I don't have birthday photos downloaded yet, I hope this will tide you over until that happens. Here's a slide show looking back over Nathan's first year, to save you having to go back and look at pictures over the last year's worth of posts.

One Year

2008-09-22T12:25:00.004-05:00

Dear Nathan,

Happy birthday! I know I've said it to you in person many times already today, but it can always be said one more time. I've spent all day so far remembering what I was doing right now a year ago. I even looked at the clock right at 10:43 and smiled to myself remembering how wonderful that moment was last year.

I've found your birthday to be kind of bittersweet. This past year has been so perfect that I'm not ready for it to end. I'm not ready for you to move on past being my sweet baby. I want to take you in my arms, hold you close, and keep you there forever and ever. I'll even gladly cling to the sleepless nights from your early days (months) if it meant I could keep you little just a little longer.
But I'm making a point to look forward instead of behind me. The awesome little boy you're already becoming will only get sweeter and more fun as time goes on. It will be neat to watch you continue to grow, to watch your hilarious personality develop.
Right now, you are still such a happy boy, content with your surroundings--as long as Mommy is around. That's right, you are still a Mommy's boy. I love how much you cling to me, even when my arms get tired sometimes from all the carrying you still get. In fact, you scream every time we take Patrick to school or pick him up; you're afraid I'm going to leave you behind too. I've had to start carrying you on those short trips in and out of school, as well as Patrick's backpack (which is clearly too large for his tiny back), his lunch, his nap mat, and his hand. Your clinginess is forcing me into becoming SuperMom, which I guess isn't a bad thing, although a bit trying sometimes.
I'm thrilled that you are becoming increasingly excited about Daddy too, though. You chase after him (as fast as you can scoot anyways) sometimes, calling out, "Da Da Da Da" as you go. You ask for him every morning and don't seem to like when he's at work when you can't see him right away. You may still prefer that I carry you around more often, but he's an acceptable alternative. Regardless, though, you adore your daddy and think he hung the moon. I don't blame you for the adoration; he is definitely somebody special. I'm glad you take after him as much as you do.

Now that you are able to play with toys more, your relationship with Patrick is beginning to change. You admire him still, but I wonder how you can some days when he is particularly mean to you. He'll push you over, making you cry and earning him a time-out, and all you can do is look longingly at Patrick until he can come play again, even knowing that he will likely just try to push you over again or take a toy away from you. I guess it's those times when the two of you play happily together that you focus on, and honestly I love them as much as you do. I can tell the two of you are going to be best buds when you catch up a little in size and can hold your own against him.
The other day we tried to get pictures for your official one-year photos, and I didn't realize we hadn't tried a mini-session like this since you've become so mobile. It was difficult and a bit frustrating, and I was a little disappointed that I didn't get the same kinds of sweet pictures I got of your brother when he turned a year old. Of course, he couldn't crawl yet at the time, so naturally that session was easier. When I downloaded the pictures and started flipping through them, however, I was stunned at how much personality came through even the bad pictures. While most of the pictures I got may not be the kind you see in an art studio, they are YOU. I'll be much happier years from now to browse through pictures where you are crawling off, sticking your tongue out, and scrunching up your face than I would have been with those generic baby pictures.
You are growing into such a beautiful child, too. I no longer have fears that I might have one of those rare ugly babies and not know it thanks to my mother's bias. Nope, you are indeed an adorable child. The only problem with your beautiful face and soft blonde curls is that you are being mistaken for a girl more and more often. It doesn't matter how boyishly I dress you; people just get drawn in by those beautiful blue eyes and curls and look past your clothes, unable to decide whether you're a gorgeous boy or an adorable girl. I can't say I blame them. But that doesn't mean I'm cutting your hair anytime soon, just so you look more like a boy. I'm as taken by the curls as the next person, so they're sticking around for a while.
I knew how special you were before you ever made your appearance a year ago, on the first day of fall (actually exactly a minute before fall officially starts). I knew you would enrich all of our lives and how much my heart would grow to make room for you. I just had no idea exactly how much that would happen. I have gotten to the point where I could never imagine life without you in it, without that bright smile and chuckly laugh, your silly games of peek-a-boo and imitation of Patrick or me or Daddy. Thank you for this past year. I'm looking forward to the next one and the one after that and the one after that and all the joy you will continue to bring to our lives throughout your entire life. Happy birthday, my precious son. I love you to the ends of the earth.

Mommy

Nearly Normal

2008-09-16T22:17:00.008-05:00

We made it back home today. The house has power, gas, water, all the amenities. Matt even found things like milk and cheese at our local grocery store. Apparently not very many stores in the area have perishable items like that. We're really living it up, I guess. (Oh, and we have Internet; did you figure that out?) From here we should get back to normal slowly but surely. Matt will be back at work tomorrow, and the day should feel pretty normal. Too bad Patrick can't go back to school on Thursday, though. I'm looking forward to that one thing going back to normal.

And now that I have a few seconds, here are a few pictures I've been saving up. I took these one afternoon when Patrick was at school and the day was beautiful outside. Nathan and I couldn't resist enjoying the pretty day.

Ike Update...The Last...I Hope

2008-09-14T23:29:00.002-05:00

I apologize for the silence for the last few days, but as expected, the power went out. It happened sometime during the night Friday night, when Ike was blowing his hardest. The wind was quite scary. I spent a fairly sleepless night listening for noises out of the ordinary that could signal problems. Then I was awake because of the heat in the house after power went out.

On the bright side, we woke up to much calmer weather Saturday morning. The worst had passed, and by late morning the rain was a mere drizzle and we were able to assess the damage. It was minimal, thank goodness. Our area and neighborhood fared quite well, much better than the scenes you have been seeing on the news.

Personally, we have some roof damage from the winds, but nothing that will leak during rains (this morning's thunderstorm tested that already). I am sure that our roof issues are very low on the priority list for repairs. We also had one small section of fence blow over and some minor damage to our air conditioner. Considering how bad things seem to have gone all over the area, we were very lucky. Even one of our neighbors had a huge section of their roof down to just plywood and already have six different leaks in the roof as a result. Another house in our neighborhood in the progress of being built, just a frame and plumbing, blew over entirely onto the (uninhabited) house next door.

This morning our power attempted to come back on. When Matt went outside to inform our neighbors who were enjoying a breakfast in the relative cool of their porch, he watched as a nearby transformer blew up, shooting sparks and bursting into flames. Coincidentally--or not--our power immediately went down again. That's when we made the decision to try a post-hurricane evacuation. We were tired of living like refugees on peanut butter and jelly and bottled water, unable to even shower and wilting in the heat.

We are now with my parents in Dallas, among many other refugees who got out before the hurricane. We have air conditioning here, as well as cold food and ways to heat food again. It's amazing how much you appreciate such simple comforts after living without them for a few days. Naturally we found out when we were nearly here that power had returned to our neighborhood sometime this afternoon, but we decided we would be better off staying put here until things had returned to a semblance of normal down there, when we could get things like milk at the grocery store again.

The boys are doing about as well as could be expected after the uncertainty of the past few days. They both slept like...well, babies through the hurricane but have had troubles napping every since because of the heat. Any little change from his normal routine, like not turning on his fan at naptime, has thrown Patrick into hysterics. The last hour of the drive today had both boys reaching their melting point, and all Matt and I could do was laugh at the simultaneous tantrums thrown by inconsolable boys in our backseat. What else was there to do?

And now we are just planning to sit tight for a few days. You can be sure we'll be watching the news carefully and talking to people from back home to find out when things in our area are back to normal. It will probably only be a few days for us, not the weeks or months like people who live farther south. I'm sure you will find out shortly after we get home and what we see when we get back there. Hopefully things will seem a little more normal then than they did when we left.

Ike Update 4

2008-09-12T22:43:00.002-05:00

We're still not getting rain yet, but the wind seems to be picking up some. Matt and I will probably head to bed soon, and we're praying the weather lets us sleep. The worst will probably hit here in the few hours before dawn. As it is, nothing is too bad here yet. The worst so far are the noisy neighbors who are taking the opportunity to have a hurricane party, complete with copious amounts of alcohol. I'm more worried about them waking up the boys than the weather.

This will probably be the last update tonight. If we have Internet tomorrow, I will update. Most likely we will not, though, so I'll get word to the parents as soon as we have cell service (if it even goes down).

Ike Update 3

2008-09-12T17:23:00.002-05:00

There's still nothing exciting to report, but I figured that was a report in itself. It's finally getting pretty cloudy, but it doesn't look like rain yet. The only indications that anything is happening are the constant hurricane updates on the news, the abandoned air of the neighborhood (since everyone is already taking shelter in their houses), and the gusty wind. According to the news, it's about to start raining pretty far south, and the storm surge is already flooding many areas to the south. Fortunately we are out of the storm surge area by a long shot, so any flooding will have to come from rain, which is apparently still several hours out. There's a good chance the worst weather will happen overnight for us. We're in play-it-by-ear mode, so we'll see what ends up happening this evening and tonight. I hope I'll get to update again soon.

Ike Update 2

2008-09-12T12:51:00.002-05:00

As of almost 1:00 here, there is still little action. It's getting a little breezy outside, but nothing more than a typical west Texas day. This morning Matt and I made our final preparations for Ike, pulling in everything from our yard. We even had time to take the boys down to the playground for a few minutes to let them run out some energy before being cooped up for the next few days. On our way down there, we saw several of our neighbors also preparing for the storm. It looks like most of our neighborhood has chosen to stick around as well.

We've done just about everything we can to prepare, so all that's left is to wait and pray. I'm still not terribly worried. I'll try to update again in a few hours after it's started raining as long as we still have power and wireless. I fully expect to lose both sometime this evening, and we will probably also lose cell service. Please don't worry if you try to call and can't get through. As soon as we can get on our phones again after an outage, we will call both sets of parents. Depending on how difficult it is to get through, we may task them with passing on the word of how things have gone (I hope you guys are okay with that!).

And now the excitement starts--at least in the next few hours.

Hurricane Update

2008-09-11T15:28:00.003-05:00

Okay, so I'm assuming that most of you have heard about Hurricane Ike. Yes, he looks to be headed straight towards Houston. No, we are not running.

As long as we have power and wireless Internet, I plan to update as often as possible to let you know what is going on here. Right now, it's beautiful, sunny, and hot. There is also an aura of busyness in the area. Everyone is stocking up on water and food, filling up their cars with gas, and beating a path out of town for many. Pretty much everyone on the south and southeast sections of town are taking refuge wherever they can. I've heard from several of my friends over there, and they have found places to stay already.

We are on the far west/northwest side of town, so we are not even in a voluntary evacuation area. It appears that most people around here are staying put and are planning to just weather the storm. Because of the increased traffic from all the evacuees that NEED to get out of here, the roads are pretty much packed already. That's one of the main reasons that Matt and I decided to try our luck here instead of picking our way across Texas to somewhere safer.

We've taken most of the preparations we're going to. Around lunchtime tomorrow we should see the beginnings of the storm, and at that point we'll see just how well we prepared. We're expecting lots of rain and some fairly high winds (although I doubt they're that bad, considering both of our experiences in west Texas). Power will probably go out at least for a little while and possibly for a long while.

At least we know what we're getting into. And it's sad, but part of me is actually excited to go through my first hurricane. I wouldn't feel that way if we were closer to the coast, but this far inland, it may actually be a fun adventure.

And of course, if anything changes and it looks like things will end up worse here, we are ready to leave at a moment's notice, traffic and all. But then, just like Rita three years ago, the hurricane could just be psyching us out and hit somewhere else altogether after all.

Either way, we'd appreciate some prayers sent down this way, for us and for everyone else who is about to be affected by Ike.

More Tidbits

2008-09-10T14:25:00.004-05:00

In no particular order...

--Nathan has another tooth. It's another bottom one to complete the set of four on the bottom. This brings the total to eight. He's also working on those molars--still--and is teething badly enough some days to keep him awake at night and cause a small fever (at least that's what I hope has caused the fever in the last week). I think we'll all celebrate when those finally cut. Here's a picture of the next-to-the-last tooth to cut:
--He's also still not quite crawling yet and doesn't seem the least bit motivated to learn the proper way to do it. He gets everywhere he wants to go with the bear crawl/scoot, so why bother learning the real way? I finally got some pictures of this scoot move.

You can see he's trying to stand up and will push that cute booty way in the air sometimes. He doesn't have the balance in his hips and torso yet, though, so he can't stand all the way up. Instead he'll just fall back down on the bottom and scoot a little farther.

He obviously loves being mobile either way. Don't you love the new way he's smiling too? It looks like a cross between a smile and a grimace because of how he scrunches up his nose. I love it!

--Patrick has named his dinosaur with a real name at last: Joshua. My theory behind the name is that he's finally figured out who else we're talking to when we scold him with his full name, Patrick Joshua. He's Patrick, so whoever else is with him when he gets in trouble must be Joshua. Well, the dinosaur is always with him, so therefore he must be Joshua. Matt's theory is funnier, though. He thinks Patrick named the dinosaur Joshua so that when we scold him with both names he can blame the dinosaur instead. "It wasn't Patrick this time, it was Joshua!"

--Nathan has started pulling up entirely on his own. Before he loved to pull up on our fingers, but I know I was giving him some support and helping him balance. Now he can do it on his own given the right environment. I suspected the enclosed play area might just provide that for him.

This was the very first time it happened. We had just dropped Patrick off at school for his first day and I set Nathan in his pen to play for a few minutes. I looked away for a minute, and this is what I saw when I looked back. The way he's kind of clinging to the side makes me think of the Spiderman song for some reason. You can tell he's pleased with himself. He does this regularly now. The funniest was this morning when Patrick was in "real time-out" (versus "play time-out," what Patrick calls the play area) right next to Nathan in the play area, and Nathan pulled up right next to where Patrick was standing. They were just inches apart with only the gate thing in between them, both of them hanging onto it.

--Patrick is learning so much at school. He's been trying to tell me some about it, but his limited vocabulary leaves me confused most of the time. So far I have figured out that they color at least some days, he "sleeps tight" during the day, and he likes his peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich at lunch. He always makes sure to tell me all about what he ate for lunch, as though I hadn't packed it for him myself.

In the meantime, Nathan and I have been having fun on our own during school days. Yesterday we headed to Target to pick up a few birthday presents to hide away until the boys' birthdays in a few weeks. That is an outing I wouldn't dare try to do alone with both boys, so it is fun to get to do things like that when only Nathan is around. It will be interesting to see what we can find to do with ourselves tomorrow when Patrick is back at school.

Thirty-Five Months

2008-09-09T09:55:00.008-05:00

Dear Patrick,

On Sunday you turned thirty-five months old, a milestone that is far overshadowed by the one looming in a month. In fact your upcoming birthday is partly why I'm a bit late posting your letter this month. When it dawned on me how quickly your birthday was approaching, I realized your brother's was a full two weeks sooner. We are not prepared, physically or emotionally, for either. That means we spent some time this weekend looking for birthday presents for you guys. You definitely enjoyed looking, and your obvious interest in certain toys helped us immensely. Now we just need to order them or go buy them at a time when you won't know so that you won't bug us about those awesome toys endlessly for the next month.
Of course, the other big event of this month was your first day of school. Really, it's just Mother's Day Out, not even officially preschool yet, but you don't know that. To you, it's school, where you go to "see teacher." You absolutely love it. In fact, on your first day of school, you just marched on into the classroom without a backwards glance at me. You barely looked up from your Magnadoodle when I gave you a hug and told you good-bye. That classroom looks an awful lot like heaven to you, I'm thinking.

In a way, I was proud to watch you walk so confidently off to your first day of school without the clinging that I've heard can make a first day so difficult. As you are the oldest in your class, it's good to see you acting so maturely. Even if your size or communication skills can't prove you're the oldest, at least you know how to act like it from time to time. But to be honest, I was a little glad today when you stopped me before I left your classroom to tell me you wanted me to hold your hand so you could show me around your classroom. You told me you wanted me to "see teacher" too. You weren't terribly disappointed when I told you that you needed to stay at school without me, but I like knowing that you would rather I stayed with you too.

At the same time that we are transitioning into school mode, you are going through another transition--out of the ECI program and into the school district's special ed program. You had your first initial screening with them yesterday. While you enjoyed some of the games they played with you, that wasn't the case for all of them. You showed your stubborn nature any time you didn't like a game and refused to play. Unfortunately, by not playing along they were unable to prove whether or not you could do certain skills. As a result, we will be going back before long to play more games for what they call a full evaluation. That decides whether you get to go into their program. Since you still need the help, it's a good thing that you qualify for the next step to get into the program, but it was frustrating to watch you refuse to do things that I know you know how to do.

But Patrick, that's you. From the very start you have insisted on doing things your way, even deciding to show up two months before we expected you. You see no reason to do anything that anybody asks you to unless you want to do it. That will be great when you're encountering peer pressure a few years down the line, but your daddy and I and all your future teachers (and probably your current ones) are going to struggle with this aspect of your personality. I'm hoping your impending reasoning skills will make it easier for us to be able to explain why we need you to do things so that this power struggle can stop.

On the other hand, you are still one of the sweetest and most thoughtful kids I know, especially for your age. We had a whole discussion of how thoughtful you are over breakfast this morning, although you called it "awful," not thoughtful. I had stubbed my toe while retrieving a hidden sippy for you and you repeatedly asked about my toe, insisting I get a "boo-boo" for it and asking if I was okay. You showed genuine concern about my foot. I know part of it was the excitement of possibly going to get a Band-aid, but you still worried about me after you understood I didn't need a Band-aid this time. Then a few minutes later you asked me if Nathan could share your banana with you, something that we used to do but haven't done much lately. You've been a little selfish about your banana lately, so offering it to your brother was incredibly sweet of you. It made me so happy to think that you were concerned with Nathan's happiness.

As is the case with most two-almost-three-year-olds, you vary from hour to hour, from minute to minute, between being totally sweet and lovable and whiny and frustrated. The unpredictability can take a lot out of me some days, especially when you're leaning on the whiny side. But then out of nowhere you'll clamber up into my lap and put your arms around me and just rest your head on me for a few seconds. That's when I remember my job as mommy isn't just to tell you no repeatedly and enforce time-outs and keep you from hurting yourself and your brother. I also get to be one of the two people you look up to and go to for comfort and love without fail the way only a two-almost-three-year-old can. And that is why you are so easy to love right back.

Love,

Mommy

Patrick-isms and Other Stories

2008-09-02T12:15:00.004-05:00

We've had a busy few days around here, so I've been collecting stories to tell. Here are as many as I can remember at the moment:

1. Patrick started saying a new fun phrase on Thursday: "Dang it." We are just so proud. I feel so bad for letting it slip that one time in front of him. He says it all the time, too, any time he's frustrated about anything. In a way, I'm glad he has a way to express frustration other than a tantrum, but I wish he had found a better phrase to use. I wonder how that's going to go over at MDO this week.

2. He is also saying, "Doss-oo-uh," every time he's upset at someone. This one totally cracks me up. When his daddy gets really upset with him, he calls him by his full name: Patrick Joshua. Since he doesn't understand the concept of middle names yet, he just thinks "Joshua" is a way to really tell someone off. For example, the other day Amber was bugging him, so he told her, "Ah-buh...Doss-oo-uh!" I guess that might just be the dog's new middle name.

3. Nathan has a new tooth. I've been checking his incoming molars every day, but they're still taking their time cutting through the gums. Because I was distracted by the molars, though, I missed a more normal tooth cutting. I noticed the left bottom tooth (next to the middle one he already has) was cut almost all the way through already just a few days ago. That puts him at seven teeth now with about three more imminent. At this rate he'll have a full mouth of teeth by his first birthday.

4. The other day someone mistook Nathan for a little girl. He was dressed in a dark blue baseball outfit. I know he has pretty blonde curls and adorable blue eyes, but you'd think the outfit would tip people off. That and the fact that the guy had heard me call him Nathan numerous times before saying anything. Maybe I should change his name to Natalie and buy him some frilly dresses and just make it easier for everyone (except Nathan of course).

5. Patrick had the open house for his MDO on Thursday. He had a blast and has been talking about his teachers ever since. Oh, and the cookies that he got to eat while he was there. I will have more about his first day of school (today!) probably tomorrow once he's made it back home and I have pictures to show off.

6. Patrick also has his last few visits with ECI scheduled already. He officially graduates from the program the day before his third birthday, when he's automatically discharged. At that point he will move onto a program through the school district. We go for his first screening there next Monday, so I'll know more about it after that.

7. Nathan is growing more and more eager to be mobile but won't crawl traditionally. I truly think he'll end up walking first at the rate he's going. He's already trying to balance on his own when I help him stand up. He also bear crawls as much as scooting, using his legs instead of his knees. He's clearly trying to stand up and could care less about learning to crawl the "proper" way.

8. This weekend we set up the enclosed play area for Nathan, and Patrick is enthralled with it. He thinks it's so neat that Nathan also has his time-out, only his has toys in it. (The play area is made out of the same gate things that his time-out is.) He keeps asking if he can play in time-out and begs Matt and me to get in and play with the two boys. I have a feeling we are going to make all sorts of fun family memories packed in tight in that little play area.

Not Exactly a Delicacy

2008-08-27T15:11:00.002-05:00

I just figured out that Nathan's going to be that child. I had set him on the floor to sit and play for a few minutes while I checked my e-mail. He was surrounded by toys, but somehow still decided he needed to go exploring. He was already across the living room by the bookcase with Patrick's toys when I heard him cough.

Normally this wouldn't be a sound I would worry about, but this wasn't the first time I'd heard it today. This morning Patrick was playing with an empty diaper box, a favorite toy of his when we let him play with it, and was shredding pieces of the cardboard all over the floor. Naturally I had to confiscate it and throw away all the little pieces of cardboard.

Apparently I'd missed one because a few minutes later Nathan was coughing and had a funny look on his face. I fished one last piece of cardboard out of his mouth, thankfully before he choked on it. Patrick got one last lecture about leaving small things on the floor, and I checked the floor for any more choking hazards, just in case.

So when I heard Nathan coughing a few minutes ago, I couldn't figure out what he could have found to chew on. Luckily enough, as soon as I started to get up and check on him, he vomited all over his front. While I would typically be pretty grossed out by this, I was hoping the vomit was what had caused the coughing and everything was fine now.

Well, it was fine, but I determined the cause of the cough and vomit when I was cleaning up: There was a dead spider in the pile on the floor. It seems that Nathan managed to find a dead spider on the floor and thought it looked yummy.

Yup, Nathan's going to be that kid, the one who will eat literally everything, even if it crawls around on eight legs. He's going to be the one I have to watch every second to make sure he doesn't get himself into trouble with his adventurous spirit. I guess it's just good that he was able to puke up the spider this time. I don't know if we'll be so lucky this time.

Regardless of my worries, though, I still think this story is hilarious. This will be one of those stories he gets tired of hearing as he grows up.

Eleven Months

2008-08-22T11:27:00.008-05:00

Dear Nathan,

I apologize already that I may get a little more sentimental than normal in today's letter. Now that you're eleven months, it has hit me like a brick at how close to a year old you are. One short, measly month is all I have until you join the ranks of emerging toddlers and your babyhood is just a memory. To say I'm not prepared is an understatement. Please help me make this month drag on by so that I can make the most of your last month of being the sweet, kissable baby you are.
Your daddy and I often play the game of guessing which one of us you resemble more. It goes without saying that you have Daddy's hair. I love the little curls that pop up over your ears and around your neckline. When Daddy was little like you, his hair was every bit as blonde as yours as well. It doesn't matter to me whether you stay towheaded like you are or if you get Daddy's dark hair, as long as you keep those curls. As far as your facial features, you also resemble Daddy, although I see bits and pieces of my grandfather and Gigi. I think you're going to be a particularly cute mix of all the genetic lines that went into making you.

The biggest development of the last month is your newfound mobility. Kid, you're fast! I can't understand how you can cross the room in a blink (or two) without ever getting on your knees and crawling. You're scooting lots faster than new crawlers. You've actually found that you prefer scooting to army crawling because you can control where you're going better this way. I think the tendency to get where you wanted to go backwards was starting to frustrate you.

I'm actually quite proud of you for finding a way to get where you're going even when crawling was proving too difficult at the moment. It's clear to me that you march to the beat of your own drummer (and dance to it too--too cute!). You don't care what you're supposed to be doing; you're going to do what you want, when you want. You'll crawl eventually, I'm sure, but there's no rush as long as you can still get where you're going. I'm not worried about your insistence to do things your own way either because you are so worried about pleasing me and Daddy already that you won't do anything that you've found makes us angry or disappointed. I'm afraid you take after me with that quality. You're going to grow up doing things your own way, but you'll have an overdeveloped sense of right from wrong. That's certainly a mixed blessing for all of us.

Here's an example of what I'm talking about: The other day you bit me while nursing. I gently pulled you back to remind you not to do that. You bit me again when I let you nurse again. This time I firmly told you no and gave you a gentle tap on your diaper to let you know I was serious. You broke out in the most pitiful cries. You weren't hurt, you just hated that I had told you no. You hated to think that you'd disappointed me. You're creative, clever, and persistent, but you can't handle being told you're doing something wrong. I'm thrilled that you want to only do things that are right, but I'm worried that at some point in the future you are either going to hold back from trying something in case it is wrong or someone is going to tell you what you're doing isn't right simply because it is different and squash that independent spirit you have.

Now that you're mobile, your relationship with Patrick is changing yet again. Suddenly you can get to his toys that have previously been kept out of your reach. The two of you are being forced to learn the hard lesson about sharing. Right now we're trying to find a compromise between toys that are definitely Patrick's, toys that are definitely yours, and toys that might have been Patrick's before but are good toys for both of you to play with. Neither of you is very happy to have a toy taken away, though, whether it was stolen from the brother or if I had to confiscate it because it wasn't yours. Patrick is finally starting to show some jealousy towards you now that you're encroaching on his territory, and when he isn't, he's playing a bit too rough with you. Still, you look up at him with those big adoring eyes and quickly forgive him when he hurts you, accidentally or otherwise.

Lately you've been quite the mama's boy. You've been waking up often at night thanks to some molars considering breaking through your gums, and especially then you have asserted your preference for me over your daddy. You still love having him around and laugh at his antics and try to get his attention, but you want me and only me to hold you. You did the same thing after waking up from a nap yesterday. When you're wide awake, you're more tolerant of snuggles with Daddy, but even then I think you'd be happier with me holding you. I understand that you're going through a mommy phase right now, and secretly I love it. There's something sweet about knowing I'm your everything right now, that only comfort from me will cut it. But my heart breaks for your daddy. He loves you every bit as much as I do, and I know he wants that satisfaction from being able to comfort you as well, just like he used to be able to do when you were just a newborn baby. For his sake, please keep this mommy phase short.

One more month. That's all the time I have to start changing my thinking into that of a mother of a pre-schooler and a toddler. You probably won't start walking the second you turn one and you'll probably still be nursing, but that magic day reminds me that you won't stay my tiny baby forever. I need to be used to the idea of you as a toddler shortly after you turn one anyway. I'm in no way ready for that, though. You've been such a sweet, wonderful baby, and I'm not ready to give that up yet, even if I'm trading that in for a sweet, wonderful toddler.

I've told you this before, and I'm going to tell you again: Take your time growing up. There's no rush. You can stay my baby boy just a little longer if you want to. But Mommy is going to love you every bit as much, even when you do embrace toddlerhood--all too soon.

Love,

Mommy

Catching Up on Pictures

2008-08-21T12:25:00.009-05:00

Grr. I'm so far behind with blogging. I didn't realize it had been a whole week. And it's been even longer than that that I'd meant to show off some of the pictures I took at Nana and Grandpa's awhile back. I don't even remember just how long it's been--too long.

Anyway, I took TONS of pictures I really, really like. You'll be glad to know I narrowed it down from the sixty-some-odd favorites to just a few to show off here. (By the way, I'm playing around with some different coloring on a few of these. I'm curious about what you think. I'm a little too left-brained to be able to analyze its artistic value.)

Patrick and Nana

Nathan and Nana

A sweet picture of Nathan looking out the window

Nathan outside, debating whether to eat that grass

Patrick had lots of fun playing outside (isn't their grass beautiful?)

"Airpwane!"

Tell me he doesn't know how to suck up. Try it, I dare you.

Since we got home, Patrick has been asking about his grandparents almost every day. He wakes up and asks, "Go see Nana? And Hampaw?" When I tell him no, he asks about Gigi and Papa. He seems so disappointed to hear that yet another day will go by without his grandparents. It's going to be a loooooong time until Thanksgiving. For the record, though, we do have a nice, clean guest room, just in case anybody was thinking about making a weekend trip here or anything. Ahem.

Another First

2008-08-14T13:04:00.003-05:00

I'm finding that the boys' baby books aren't quite adequate with room to fill in all the important firsts. They include all the usual ones, the ones that people ask about--like first food, first tooth, first word, first steps, all those.

But the really important ones, the ones that create the strongest memories for me, are the ones that no baby book would think to include. These firsts also tend to include both boys. I remember the first time Patrick actually played with Nathan, the first time Nathan laughed at Patrick, the first time Patrick called Nathan "Gaga" (that I recognized anyway), and the first time Nathan called Patrick "Gaga."

Today was yet another of those firsts between brothers. I was giving them a bath together (that was another first--their first joint bath) and they were thoroughly enjoying it. Nathan has finally started loving bathtime instead of just tolerating it, and coincidentally that coincides with learning to splash. Go figure.

Anyway, today Nathan was watching his brother carefully. Patrick kept splashing all over the bathroom--and me. Nathan immediately laughed hysterically at him and then followed his example. I would get a second tidal wave of water threatening to drown me, this time from Nathan. Patrick would laugh at, and with, him and start the whole process over again.

My boys were playing together and had teamed up against me. I had so much fun watching them work together to soak me that I didn't even mind that they quite easily accomplished their purpose.

That was a first for them--to play together with purpose, to team up on me. In the past, they may have both played side by side with the same toy, but they weren't truly playing together. I'm not so sure this will be a good thing in the future, especially the teaming up together, but there is something so fulfilling watching my boys forge their own relationship with each other.

Dreaded Mobility

2008-08-13T14:03:00.003-05:00

I can't believe I haven't informed all of you about the latest news around here: Nathan is mobile.

It started up sometime last week when I noticed he finally found a way to get to his belly from a sitting position. He leans forward really far, flipping his legs around to behind him. Basically, he leans forward far enough that he does the splits and ends up falling onto his belly. I wish I was half that flexible.

Once on his belly, Nathan is great at getting where he wants to go. He isn't officially crawling yet, with his belly off the floor and everything, but he's mastering the army crawl quickly. The only problem? He can only go backwards. Apparently I had the same problem when I was first learning to crawl. One day the dog came up behind me and nudged me with her nose as if to say, "Silly human baby, you're supposed to go the other way." The story goes that from that day on I always crawled normally.

Amber? Time to step up there, girl!

Seriously, though, I'm not worried about it. He'll figure out how to pull forward with his arms, letting his legs propel him as well, instead of just pushing back with his arms.

In the meantime, he has developed another technique for getting where he wants to go if he doesn't want to get there a roundabout way. He'll stay in a sitting position and pull himself forward with his arms, scooting everywhere. Again, he's really quite efficient with this. We're finding that our baby-proofing is definitely going to be tested over the next few weeks as he is already showing interest in things that Patrick always ignored.

Nathan also pulled up completely on his own yesterday. He's been doing it while holding onto our fingers with little assistance from us, but he finally found a good place to try it on his own. He was standing before I even realized what was happening. It's possible he'll get so interested in walking that he may skip real, normal crawling for now.

I think it may be time to reassemble the baby cage and fill it with safe toys.

Thirty-Four Months

2008-08-07T14:03:00.009-05:00

Dear Patrick,

Today you are exactly thirty-four months, a mere two months from turning three years old. Once again, I find myself writing your letter at Nana and Grandpa's, which seems to happen fairly often. The funny part is that despite this phenomenon, we don't see them nearly as often as we used to. Our visits just somehow seem to fall right around the 7th of the month. But that's okay because you seem to take your best pictures in places other than our house--at least your happiest.
One of the month's huge accomplishments is jumping. It's a skill you've been working on for a long time, but only recently have you been able to find yourself actually lifting off the ground. Now you regularly clear several inches every try--and that's a lot of tries. You spend much of your day hopping around, in imitation of frogs, toads, bunnies, and plain old Patrick. I wish I knew how you found all that energy to jump everywhere, when you're not skipping or running like an Olympian. It makes for one worn-out mommy by naptime, but your calves are going to end up very muscular at this rate. It's no wonder you don't gain much weight.

Speaking of that, you still aren't growing very fast. You seem to be growing straight up, but you have very little meat on your bones. Your youngest girl cousin has almost caught up to you already, and I'm sure the rest aren't far behind. It won't be long until even little Corey is handing down his clothes to you.

Recently we had to start a whole new wardrobe for you, one lacking any hard decoration of any kind, especially buttons, zippers, and snaps, so that we could save ourselves needing to repaint the entire house. When we did so, we immediately passed down all your pajama onesies to Nathan, who was barely squeezing into any of his. It was scary to realize that your underweight brother fills out those onesies nearly as well as you do. Once Nathan starts walking, I'm sure I'll start getting asked whether the two of you are twins.

Despite your size, though, you are mature for your age. Oh, not in language, of course--more on that in a minute--and much of the time not in obedience, but you are socially advanced. You want to be so helpful and insist on cleaning up after yourself (unless, of course, I ask you to). You help with Nathan without being bossy and let me know when you see something that needs attending to.

You are also so grown up with showing affection. For the first time in your short life, you are giving hugs and kisses on command and spontaneously. You'll only give them to people you know and love, but you don't hold back. There is nothing better than getting you out of bed in the morning to be greeted by a huge grin followed by a kiss. "Mmm-ma!" This loving side of your personality definitely makes up for all the times your disobedience frustrates me.

Another thing you do right now that I love is carry around Dinosaur. He goes with you everywhere, even outside the house right now. You want to share all your experiences with Dinosaur from meals and naptime to meeting new people and going new places. It is such a stereotypical toddler picture to watch you lugging around your comfort object, and you attract stares of the best kind everywhere we go. If that contagious grin and huge, expressive blue eyes weren't enough, Dinosaur gets smiles from the grumpiest-looking adults.

Unfortunately, your language is still lagging behind. Last week we had your six-month review with Miss Joann from ECI. She'd mentioned recently that your language had improved so much that she thought you might be ready to move on from ECI, that you might have gotten all the help you needed to catch up soon. But when we looked more carefully at all the milestones of all the areas of language development, we realized that you're not really that caught up. Yes, you are talking much more with a huge vocabulary and whole sentences, and we can understand so much more of what you say. But you talk according to your "own agenda," as Miss Joann put it. You talk about what you want to talk about, but you have difficulties holding whole conversations.

It's hard to explain exactly where the problem is because you do respond to questions--sometimes. If I ask you whether you want something and you do, you will repeat what it is you want. "Milk sippy?" "Milk sippy!" You do not answer yes or no, and if the answer is no, I usually don't get a response at all. When I ask an open-ended question, you stare at me blankly; whether it's from confusion or stubbornness, I have no idea. So even though I was hoping that you had advanced enough to outgrow ECI and catch up to normal almost-three-year-olds, you are staying in it for the time being. And in another two months you will graduate to the school district's care, where you will get all sorts of new therapy to have you caught up to your peers.

You ARE growing and maturing in every way, though, even your language. You are communicating so much more now than you were even a few months ago. My dreams of six months ago, before all this ECI stuff, were to be able to communicate enough with you to know your basic needs and hold some conversations about your interests. Even if you're not caught up, you can at least do that. I can understand you when you're upset because Sock Puppet didn't make it into bed with you or that Dinosaur needs a place at the table for lunch or that you want to color with black, not green. I can understand you when you go through all your bedtime phrases, and I can understand when you tell me, "I love you." And that's the one that really matters anyway, at least to me.

I love you too, Patrick.

Mommy

Enlightenment

2008-07-29T12:01:00.002-05:00

Do you remember a picture from a week or so ago where Patrick and Dinosaur were both wearing socks--on their feet AND their hands? It was hilarious, obviously, but puzzling. I had no idea why he suddenly decided socks belonged on his hands.

A few days ago he came up to me with a sock in his hand again, asking for help to put it on his hand. He was chattering about something incomprehensible when I heard two words I thought I understood: "sah puppih."

"Huh? Did you say 'sock puppet,' Patrick?"

"Sah puppih! Yeah!"

And from that moment, Sock Puppet joined our family. It's definitely something he picked up from Blue's Clues, as Steve shows off his own sock puppet skills in several different episodes we've seen lately. Now Sock Puppet joins us on car trips and sometimes eats at the table with us, although we've learned to limit his appearances then to cleaner meals ever since the day he tried banana. "Yucky banana! Yucky sah puppit!" Sock Puppet even talks on the phone sometimes, although I'm not entirely sure what he's saying. But that's okay because I'm sure Patrick knows.

Another unrelated Patrick-ism: He's decided that Cookie Monster is every bit as cool as Elmo and is thrilled if either one of them makes an appearance on his diaper. It cracks me up to hear him say "Cookie Monster," though, because he insists on growling it just like Cookie Monster talks.

We recently had to start replacing his wardrobe because he takes any buttons or snaps on his clothes and draws on the walls with them (they leave pencil-like marks that are difficult to remove). Those kinds of clothes are almost all he has, so we now need to find simple t-shirts and shorts without all those extra buttons. While browsing the clearance section at Babies R Us last night, we found a Cookie Monster outfit. Normally I avoid the popular cartoon characters on his clothes, but I couldn't resist buying it when he saw it and immediately got excited, growling "Cookie Monster" loudly. He's wearing the outfit today, and that's all he can talk about. I'll have to see if I can get it on video for you. It's got to be one of the cutest things he says.

Hall of Shame

2008-07-24T11:42:00.008-05:00

Gigi's comment from the last post gave me a great idea for a post. If you didn't read it, she mentioned that it looked like Nathan is always smiling in pictures. While that is often the case, there are a few pictures I've captured that show Nathan without the classic grin on his face.

Here are the best of the best (from the past three months) that fit in the Hall of Shame (note that all pictures are unedited, which certainly doesn't help their quality):

"I swear I'm not pooping...I just look like I am."

"This is my Quasimodo face. What do you think? Worthy of an Oscar?"

"I'm not sure whether I'm yawning or sneezing...or both."

And Patrick's not immune from the bad picture syndrome:

"It looks like I'm worried, but I'm really just upset that Mommy wants to take pictures of me. I'm supposed to be the one behind the camera!"

"Haha, can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread...ahem, Patrick man!"

And my absolute favorite picture, the one that wins the Medal of Shame hands down:

"But this is my prettiest smile, Mommy!"

Got a better caption for one? I want to hear it! Leave me a comment and make me laugh--more than these pictures already have!

Ten Months

2008-07-22T20:03:00.005-05:00

Dear Nathan,

In a short two months, you will be a full year old. I can't believe how quickly the past ten months have flown by and how soon I'll have to call you my toddler instead of my baby.
This month hasn't seen any huge changes, but you continue to grow and mature every day. Every so often, you'll react in an unusual way or move differently, and I'm suddenly reminded that you're no longer that floppy baby I brought home from the hospital. You're a little person with a personality all your own.

I'm sure it will surprise nobody to hear that humor is already a large part of your personality. You love to do things to make us laugh and consider it a triumph when Patrick laughs at you--or with you, which is usually the case. I love the sound of your little laugh, too; it never fails to get at least a smile out of me.

You are also very considerate and thoughtful for a mere ten-month-old. It is clear you love all of us in different ways. Mommy is comfort and basic care; Daddy is entertainment (and comfort when Mommy's not around); Patrick is your hero; and Amber is--well, Amber. As selfish as babies can be, it's comforting to watch your concern for each of us, the way you want to make all of us happy whenever possible. If only you knew that all you had to do is smile that toothy grin...

And speaking of that toothy grin, you are working on adding at least one more tooth before long. You have been teething a molar for the past week or so, and it's interrupted your sleep more than once. Still, you're taking it like a trooper. I don't think you've fussed as much about this one as you did the first few. It's hard to believe that you'll have at least seven teeth long before you turn one.

The one area you haven't really cared to make progress is in your motor skills. You still aren't crawling, even army crawling (although you can scoot pretty well when you are sitting or on your belly), and you like being helped to stand but don't want to try it on your own yet. All in time, though. I'm trying to cherish these last few days of immobility while I can. I'm sure once you start going, you'll never stop. I'm not quite ready to be chasing two of you around the house yet. Hopefully I'll get ready before curiosity gets the best of you and you take off after your brother.

You probably don't even realize this, but you still force me to take a few minutes every day to remember how incredibly lucky I am. I have two of the cutest and sweetest boys ever. I was trying just today to tell you how much I love you (not that you were paying attention; you were a bit focused on nursing at the time), and I realized that I can't find the words. I don't think there are any that can adequately summarize what I'm feeling. It would be like walking up to the ocean and calling it a pond. So know that when I tell you that I love you, what I feel is so, so much more than those three words can ever convey.

Love,

Mommy

When the Lights Are Out

2008-07-21T16:12:00.003-05:00

The other day, Matt and I realized it was probably time to move Nathan's crib mattress down a level. He's never shown any signs of pulling up on the side or any other dangerous activities, but he is definitely at that age when it could start happening at any moment. We'd rather be proactive about it than discover just too late that we should have already taken care of this task.

When we put his bed back together, we debated about whether to put his crib bumper back in. Patrick has recently decided it's just another of his toys, and we've found it draped around the room several times lately. To preserve our own sanity, we made the decision to see how Nathan did without it.

At first, he seemed to be a little confused. "Why can I suddenly see out of my crib, and not just what's above it?" Then he settled in; he seemed to like the new view.

Patrick did too. He also seemed quite curious about the new look to Nathan's crib, inspecting it even before we left the room for the night. Still, Matt and I left to let the two of them get used to the change, expecting the worst.

I was surprised when I didn't immediately hear cries behind me. I shrugged in the silence and went in the other room to play on the computer. About ten minutes later, I needed to do something right outside their room. When I got there, I heard a weird noise.

"Is that Nathan crying?" I wondered. It sounded like his voice, but it wasn't quite a typical cry. "Oh, no. I get it now. Patrick's laughing." I could only imagine the kind of torment he was inflicting on his brother that would cause him to laugh that mischievous laugh. I had pictures in my mind of Patrick poking at his brother through the slats and pulling his blankie away from him and who even knows what other mischief he could devise.

Then I heard it again and knew the sound for what it was: Nathan's laughter. It was the wildest, most hilarious laughter I have ever heard out of this perpetually happy baby. Between two crazy laughs, I heard another quieter sound. This time it was Patrick's voice. He was talking to Nathan in a sweet but silly voice.

My two boys were having an impromptu slumber party in their room, reminiscent of the late-night chattering my sister and I would do from time to time when we were young. The two were having such a grand time that I didn't want to interrupt them, even though they needed to sleep and it was probably my duty to put an end to the fun. (That's what mommies do, right?)

Instead, I called Matt to come listen as well. We practically melted as we listened to our boys interacting with each other and entertaining each other. It's a sound that I'm sure will become irritating as they grow older and we are forced to put an end to on a regular basis to ensure they get enough sleep, but for this one night, we revelled in the noise.

It's nice to have proof that our boys do love each other after all. For now.

Meet Dinosaur

2008-07-15T11:51:00.009-05:00

Meet Doddledo, aka Dinosaur.
Doddledo is Patrick's newest best friend. He is the comfort object, that one item that follows Patrick everywhere and would be the cause of great distress if he ever disappeared.

Doddledo does everything with Patrick (except for baths, thank goodness). He participates in every diaper change, which is why you often see him in a diaper in photos. He eats meals with us, and he comes for rides in the car. He is fed some of Patrick's snacks and is given toys to play with and insists on watching Blue's Clues at various times of the day.

I have taken to addressing Doddledo when I have questions for Patrick. Here's a sample of our conversations lately:

Me: Patrick, what do you want for lunch?

Patrick: .....

Me: Patrick, what does Doddledo want to eat for lunch?

Patrick: Doddledo mumblemumble toteeya chee

Me: (thinking How is that easier to say than quesadilla?) Doddledo wants a tortilla with cheese? And what does he want to drink?

Patrick: Doddledo mumblemumble ilk? Ilk sippy?

Me: Okay, then I'll make Doddledo a tortilla with cheese and a milk sippy, and you guys can share.

Then while I start gathering everything for lunch, Patrick straps Doddledo into his own booster seat ("UP, downdowndown") and puts a bib on him. Patrick usually pauses during his own meal to offer bites of his meal and sips of his milk to Doddledo. Apparently, Doddledo usually declares them to be "yummy."

When naptime comes, Patrick is even more eager to hop in bed--if that's even possible. He makes sure to tuck Doddledo in next to him snugly. Then he kisses the top of his head. "Uh wuv oo, Doddledo." I am forced to repeat the routine as well, kissing Doddledo after I give Patrick his naptime kiss.

While they play together during the day, Patrick will pause at random times to lean down and give Doddledo yet another smooch. I grin a bit everytime I hear, "Mmm-mah!" knowing that Doddledo is very loved.

Sometimes Patrick decides that he is tired of carrying Doddledo everywhere. At these times, he tries teaching Doddledo to walk. He hunches over kind of funny, balances Doddledo on his feet on the floor, and rocks him back and forth as though he's walking. He drags him along by the hand at times, like he's holding his hand. Doddledo even dances with Patrick and jumps with him, practicing all those great gross motor skills.

Lately, Patrick has had issues keeping his diaper on when he's supposed to be sleeping, so we've started duct taping down the tabs. (By the way, he can even break through that sometimes. Anybody have any different ideas for us to try to solve this problem?) He somehow got the idea that it resembles a Band-aid, from the one time he saw me with a Band-aid on my boo-boo. Now when I change his diaper, he reminds me that Elmo has a boo-boo and needs a Band-aid. Of course, Doddledo needs one too, though. He has taken to peeling the decals off his car and using the stickers as a Band-aid on Doddledo's diaper.

Anything Patrick has, Doddledo needs too. I can't decide if Doddledo is Patrick, or just someone for Patrick to nurture, more like his baby. Either way, I think Matt and I may go on a mission to find a second Doddledo to keep hidden around here, just in case some sort of tragedy would occur to Doddledo...God forbid.

Brotherly Love

2008-07-14T11:49:00.004-05:00

This crazy kid, this one right here, is absolutely, definitely talking. I know I keep talking about it, but that's because I keep trying to convince myself it's possible. Patrick talked so late that it's ridiculous to think a baby could be communicating using real words this early. I mean, he's only nine months old!

But as more time passes and he attempts to talk more and more, I am forced to admit that not only is it possible that he is talking but almost certain. Also, he is not merely repeating us; I think he actually knows what he is saying sometimes.

For example, he frequently says "Amber" unprompted now. He sees her and instantly gets excited and starts repeating her name. I think he is trying to get her attention, which she is only too happy to give most of the time.

This morning's incident is what proved it to me once and for all, though. I had just rescued him from his room for his first feeding, and Patrick was just barely awake. He was jabbering about having me tuck in his bear again, and I did so while holding Nathan. As soon as we got back in our bedroom, Nathan started repeating, "Gaga," his name for Patrick, oddly the same as Patrick's name for him. Then he said, "Uh wuv uh." This time he did not repeat it after I had said it. It came from nowhere.

"Gaga, uh wuv uh. Gaga. Gaga, uh wuv uh." He continued to repeat it while I stared at him in awe. He was clearly saying something with that phrase, and I'm hesitantly suggesting that he does understand what the words mean, at least to some extent. Regardless, though, I'm quite positive that he does indeed love his brother.

Thirty-Three Months

2008-07-07T13:35:00.011-05:00

Dear Patrick,

I don't even know where to begin with this month's letter. I guess it's best to just say that you have become a child of contradictions.
You are the most fun and the most irritating person I've ever been around. You are the sweetest, most cuddly little boy only seconds before becoming the most whiny little tantrum-thrower. I'm inclined to believe this is the two-year-old in you and not the Patrick in you because if I'm wrong, you're going to drive all of us batty before you hit junior high, where you probably will anyway.

There are moments when you are about as easygoing and compliant as they come. The other night you were already asleep when the 4th of July fireworks began, but Daddy and I thought you might enjoy watching them so Daddy woke you up from a deep sleep. When he nudged you and whispered, "Boom, boom" in your ear, you easily smiled at him and asked, "Boom, boom?" right back. "Yeah, Dad, what is making that boom boom noise?" Even though it was the middle of the night to you, you were absolutely charming as you stood with us in the driveway watching the light show the nearby country club put on for us. You didn't even put up a fight when the show ended and we put you back to bed.

Unfortunately, you aren't that resilient all the time. For example, the other day Daddy washed the kitchen floor, going to the extent of moving the table and chairs as well. When we replaced the table, we left off the vase of flowers that you tend to play with during meals, which bugs both Daddy and me. The second you sat down to the next meal, you threw the biggest fit. You refused to even look at your food until the vase had been replaced. It had only been moved a few feet, but your sense of normalcy was thrown off, and you couldn't cope with the change.

Lately your language has really been taking off as well. You have a nearly endless vocabulary and seem to learn a dozen new words each day. For a kid with language delays, you seem to talk an awful lot. More and more you are able to communicate what you want and need quite effectively. Of course, that doesn't keep you from throwing tantrums anytime you don't get what you want. Still, I think your ECI teacher is continually amazed at the progress you're making. You may still be behind other kids your age, but you're making fast strides in catching up. It won't be long before all the frustrations with your talking (or lack thereof) will be a thing of the past.

You've surprised me in the last few weeks with how much typical preschool knowledge you've picked up here and there. I suspect a good part of it is due to your favorite show, but mere mentions of shapes and colors from me seem to spark something in your brain and you repeat that shape or color for days after. I know you know at least a few of your colors and most of your shapes, even if it takes a specialized toddler translator to clarify what you are saying. You know a few of your letters at least, and I have a feeling you know more of your numbers than you're letting on. When you start preschool, you're going to be right on track with all your peers.

Although you can be quite violent at times (I hope unintentionally) to all of us, you have started showing your love more often. It's common for you to stop what you're doing for a minute to crawl into my lap or Daddy's lap just to give us a hug. It's now part of your nighttime routine to kiss your brother good night before you climb into bed yourself. You even give Amber hugs any time we remind you to be gentle with her. I'm not sure if this is what has prompted her devotion to you or your insistence upon dropping food over the side of the table when you think Daddy and I aren't watching. Either way, this new loving side of you has to be my favorite yet. There's nothing quite like getting to snuggle with you for a few minutes after your nap, something initiated entirely by you and not done against your will--because I know it won't be long before the only snuggles I get from you are stolen.

It amazes me to see how far you've come in the past two years, nine months. It's difficult to see this active toddler, this totally normal active toddler, and remember the tiny, fragile little thing you used to be. I've heard that once you're a preemie mom, you're always a preemie mom, but I don't entirely believe that. Those days when you were so little are long past, and I can barely remember them anymore. When I do, it's hard to connect you to that baby. Until I see you around your gargantuan peers, I would never guess you were ever a preemie. It amazes me to think how little pain I have left from your early days. This new amazing you has healed all that pain you unintentionally caused by showing up so early. I think you give hope to preemie moms everywhere.

I can't believe you're growing up so fast, you crazy nut. I'm cherishing all these goofy moments with you--in between the tantrums anyway--because any day now I'll be the mom to a surly teenager who believes parents are the spawn of Satan. Hopefully when that happens, I'll be able to transport myself back in time through the pictures I've taken and blog posts I've written to relive your silly days of insisting "Doddledo" has a diaper on and wanting Daddy to help you do headstands. Besides, how else do you expect me to embarrass you, your friends, and your girlfriends when you're rolling your eyes at your totally uncool parents ten years from now?

But you know what? I'll love you even then, and that humiliation will stem from love. Yes, really.

Love,

Mommy

No Way!

2008-07-03T15:15:00.002-05:00

I'm quite certain that Nathan is talking, and not just babbling. We have had more instances where he has fairly clearly said, "Amber," when Amber was around or he was trying to get her attention. I have also heard him repeat, "Gaga," when he was trying to get Patrick's attention. In fact, one day when Patrick was crying near Nathan, I could swear I heard Nathan say, "Gaga. Pah-tree." That one I'm less certain about because, after all, Patrick was crying loudly in my ears.

Nathan also says, "Dada," when he wants his daddy's attention and either "Mama" or "Nana" when he wants me. He's consistent enough about all his different words and when he uses each one that it seems entirely likely that he understands what he's saying, at least to some extent.

But today's new phrase caught me totally off guard. Nathan had done something cute and got me to smile, so I leaned down and gave him a kiss, telling him, "I love you." Then I turned around to do something else. From behind me I hear, "Uh wu-oo."

I swung that head around so fast in shock. How could Patrick have woken up and snuck out of his room without my hearing it? But, no, Nathan and I were alone--and Nathan was grinning from ear to ear.

I know, I know. Nathan was just repeating me and very likely had no idea what he was saying. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to treasure this day forever and ever--the first day BOTH my boys told me they loved me.

Bad Toes

2008-06-26T13:55:00.002-05:00

An excerpt from a conversation with Patrick over lunch yesterday:

Matt: Patrick, what did you do this morning? Mommy tells me you played peek-a-boo with her toes.

Patrick: Toes? No kicking, toes. Timeout. Bad toes.

Who knew the blame game started so early? Patrick didn't do it; his toes did. Bad toes.

Unbelievable

2008-06-25T13:31:00.003-05:00

Before I start the story, I have to warn you that I know how unbelievable this sounds. I know it looks like you are getting my very biased interpretation of what happened, but I'm going to tell you just the facts. If you choose not to agree with my interpretation, that's fine.

It happened yesterday afternoon. Nathan and I were sitting on the floor playing when Amber came up to us begging for attention. As usual when he sees Amber, Nathan got excited. I talked to him while I pet Amber, telling him to "say Amber! Say 'sweet Amber, good girl Amber.'" This went on for a few minutes where I praised Amber by talking to Nathan about her, telling him he should say her name.

Then Nathan looked up at Amber and clearly said, "Abba," much the same way his big brother says it, kind of like his nose is stopped up.

He has never said this while babbling; all of his "b" sounds have come out more like "babababa." The sound also did not happen in the midst of babbling. He wasn't talking before, and he didn't talk after. It was isolated and while he was reaching for Amber.

It happened again this morning during breakfast. Patrick was talking to Amber, and then she walked right into Nathan's line of sight. Without prompting this time, he again said, "Abba," while looking at Amber.

Sure it could be a coincidence, but I think it's entirely likely he's proving his place within his daddy's side of the family, the side that might as well be dog whisperers because of their unique relationships to all canines. I really do think that Nathan's first word (other than the "mamama" and "dadada" babblings) was Amber.

Nine Month Check-Up

2008-06-24T15:42:00.003-05:00

Today we went to the doctor for Nathan's nine month check-up. It was pretty routine, even if the day didn't start out that way. I was pretty glad that we already had an appointment set up when Nathan promptly threw up all of his breakfast all over both of us as soon as he'd finished eating. Needless to say, that threw off my finely-tuned morning routine.

Fortunately, he seemed to feel better after getting it out of his system, and he's been fine ever since. We also still made it to the doctor with plenty of time to spare. I tend to leave a few extra minutes for traffic, and we were lucky not to need them today.

The doctor was pleased with Nathan's progress. He's a healthy kid. I asked about some of the typical physical milestones that he should be meeting by now and isn't, but the doctor isn't at all worried. Honestly, neither am I. Unlike Patrick at this age, Nathan seems perfectly capable of doing these things (like crawling), and it is merely a matter of motivation--or lack thereof. He'll crawl when he wants to and not a second before. In fact, he may not crawl at all and just get up and walk away one of these days.

I wonder if it's a second-time mom thing to just take all this in stride, knowing that he'll do all of this eventually and that worrying about it isn't going to change that one bit.

Anyway, as expected Nathan has grown less over the last three months than he needed to to keep up with his growth chart. Given his genetics, though, and the fact that his height and weight are perfectly balanced on the chart, this isn't a cause for worry. If he stays at his current percentile, he could still easily be 5'7''. I laughed when the doctor said that: "He'll be practically a giant in our family!"

For those interested in exact numbers, his weight is 18 lbs, 4.5 oz, height at 27 1/2 in, and head circ at 18 cm. For comparison sake, Patrick weighed about that at 15 months and was that height at just under a year. Despite slacking off in his weight gain, Nathan will still likely catch up to his brother before we know it. I can't wait for the first time someone asks me if they're twins!

Nine Months

2008-06-22T11:35:00.007-05:00

Dear Nathan,

At nine months you are more special than ever. Did you realize that sometime around this day, you will have officially been outside my belly longer than you were in it? I guess that means you are quickly leaving behind your babyness and approaching big boy status.
This month hasn't brought on too many changes, though, which is actually kind of a relief. I get to keep you as my little baby just a bit longer. You see, I can tell that you're going to figure out how to start crawling any day now, and at that point there is no turning back. You're on a fast track to toddlerhood the second you learn about mobility. And while that isn't necessarily a bad thing, I'm not quite sure I can handle two active, mobile toddlers at once.

It's amazing how social you are, even at this young age. I'd like to blame it on your older brother and his example, but I wonder if you might just naturally be this way. Lately you have been working extra hard to win the affections of the other family members: Daddy, Patrick, and Amber. You and Amber had that special relationship from the start, and that continues. And it's not like Daddy isn't easy to win over with that big heart of his. All you have to do is babble, "Dadada" while looking at him, and he's gone.

Getting Patrick's attention, however, is your Mount Everest. Like any other toddler, he tends to be a bit self-absorbed, so you consider it a victory any time he's paying you attention, even if it's not quite as sweet and gentle as you might like. The last few weeks in particular, you have willingly submitted to being his toy, laughing as he plays peek-a-boo with you and shoves various toys at you only to take them back seconds later. I think you know that no matter how rough he can get, the second you get upset he will comfort you. You can wake him up in the middle of the night, making him cry as well, but the second he's comfortable again, he will start talking to you to comfort you until you've fallen back asleep. That's the kind of relationship I always hoped you would have, and it brings tears to my eyes to see how loving the two of you are with each other, with very little of the sibling rivalry I so feared.

For some time in there, I started mourning that your increasing closeness with the rest of our family meant that our special relationship wasn't as special as it once was. I suspect now, though, that it is simply because I am around all the time. You don't appear to cherish me as much because you don't have to work for my affection or attention. Yesterday morning, however, Daddy let me sleep late while he took care of you and Patrick in the morning. You were perfectly happy with the arrangements--until you saw me after I got up. At that point, you wanted nothing else, not even toys, until we had had some snuggle time together. I realized then that I still mean everything to you; you are still a Mommy's boy after all. And I suppose that as long as you keep coming back to me like that, I will willingly surrender you to everyone else around you whom you also love.

You are one very active boy, Nathan. This month more than any other, you have spent every waking minute playing. Just like your brother, everything is a toy. If you have been set somewhere without a toy in reach, you simply reach for whatever you can, playing with that object as though it was intended for you after all. It's been interesting watching your interest level in toys change over the last month or so. Suddenly you aren't content playing with one rattle or simple toy for hours; instead you get bored with the same few toys easily and insist on having them regularly swapped. It also astounds me to see that you seem to know how to play with each toy, even if you don't quite have the dexterity to follow through. Even two or three months ago you were attempting to replace the rings on the ring stacker. It's pretty clear to me that your mind works far in advance of your body. Honestly, I think I'd rather have it that way. It's just like the rest of us in your family.

Did you think I was going to go a whole month without commenting on your happy disposition? Of course I couldn't leave that out. Your goofy, toothy grin is absolutely contagious, and you keep me from losing my mind on some of Patrick's tougher days by flashing me that silly smile. You constantly remind me that life isn't all that serious after all and that there is much around us to enjoy and laugh at. I hope and pray that you never let life beat you down and that you can stay this happy and lighthearted throughout your entire life.

Sometimes I wonder what life would have been like without you, if I had been a mommy of just one. But then I remember how much it has enriched my life to have two sweet little boys, how much YOU have enriched my life. God certainly knew what He was doing when He sent you to me. I love you so much, my goofy, grinny, adorable, charming little Nathan.

Mommy

Shrug, Close Enough

2008-06-21T13:11:00.002-05:00

As Patrick's language continues to grow, it's been great hearing him learn everyone's name. As he's done for a long time, he still yells, "Daddy!" when Matt gets home from work. He chatters to and about Gaga constantly, and he recognizes all his grandparents by name.

It's actually been a regular routine lately for him to crawl into my lap when I'm on my computer and ask for "pee-choo" (pictures). I'll pull up some of our vacation pictures or some pictures from Christmas, or anytime the pictures aren't just of Patrick, Nathan, and Amber. He thinks it's a great game to point out everyone in the pictures. "Gigi!" "Papa!" "Be-paw!" "Nana!"

Sometimes he surprises me with his memory. It only took one reminder each for him to remember his new cousins, Corey and Abby, that he saw last month. It's so cute hearing him say their names so clearly in his little voice. And one that didn't need any prompting was Uncle Steve and Aunt Ginny's dog Daphne (Daffee).

Oddly enough, the only person that he has a difficult time identifying in pictures is me. It's like he doesn't know what to call me. He can repeat me when I point to myself and say, "Mommy," or he can repeat Matt when he calls me Mommy, but he doesn't just call me that on his own.

Instead, I've often heard him calling me something that sounds strikingly like Jennifer.

Huh. I wonder what would make him think that all women who aren't his grandmothers are named Jennifer.

It's not like I'm not used to being called the wrong name. Up until a few months after I got married and shed my maiden name, I was called Christy. Anyone who knew both of us sisters as acquaintances got us confused, so I was called Jennifer regularly growing up. I guess it's not that big of a change to have my own son make the same mistake.

Of course, it would be a lot easier if every single one of his aunts wasn't also named Jennifer. But that's certainly not my fault, so I guess I'll just get used to being called Jennifer. In the meantime, I'll be reminding him that my name is Mommy every chance I get. And I suppose it's better than having him call every woman he sees Mommy.

Some Catching Up

2008-06-18T12:49:00.003-05:00

I apologize for my prolonged absence. I just felt unmotivated to blog. I guess those monster vacation posts kind of took it out of me. So here's the short, bulleted version of the last week or so, minus the pictures I've been intending to post for even longer than that:

--I realized a little over a week ago that Nathan's weight hasn't changed in well over a month. He's barely gained anything since his last appointment at six months. Since he has his next check-up in a week, I decided the lack of weight gain was probably worrisome. So I started feeding him until he was at the point of spitting it back at me. It turns out at least part of the weight issues stem from my gross underfeeding of him. He's now eating over three times as much food as he was before. Hopefully he'll be able to make up some of that lost weight before Tuesday's appointment. Do you think his constant movement any time he's awake has anything to do with his need for so much food?

--Patrick finally figured out how to say "I love you" and what it means. He says it mostly before bed or when putting Nathan down for a nap, but he'll also say it to Daddy when he goes back to work after lunch or when he snuggles up to me during the day. My favorite part is that he will also do the "I love you" hand sign with both hands. He has to check each one to make sure it is done right, and then he'll say in the cutest singsongy voice, "I wuv oo!"

--Patrick apparently picked up a little stomach bug over the weekend because he woke up Sunday morning with a particularly icky diaper. He's had several each day since then, although he seems to be getting a bit better today. Fortunately, he didn't seem too bothered by it all. He was fine and happy until he had one of those diapers and was back to normal almost as soon as I could get the diaper changed. He also really enjoyed his "special juice," i.e. Pedialyte. I worried that Nathan was getting it too, but he seems to have escaped it, even though he did have one diaper that made me wonder.

--We didn't do anything special for Father's Day, since I'm sure you're curious. It was mostly just a lazy day at home, thanks in part to Patrick's poopy issues.

I guess that's about it. I'm sure there were more, less interesting stories that happened since I blogged last, but these were definitely the highlights. Stay tuned in the next few days (or weeks, you never know) for those pictures I have yet to get around to posting.

Thirty-Two Months

2008-06-07T20:53:00.003-05:00

Dear Patrick,

I almost didn't write you a letter today. I figured in the aftermath of vacation, nobody would miss it. Besides, you might just be getting old enough that you don't necessarily need a letter every month. Oh, and it's tough writing something without lots of cute pictures to show off too, and I've been bad about getting pictures since we got home from vacation.

But then years from now when I'm finally getting around to compiling all these letters to file away for you to read when you'll appreciate them, I'll notice that your 32nd month is missing. I'll drive myself crazy looking for it, afraid that I mislabeled it or accidentally deleted it. I'll wonder why I didn't ever write something in the first place.

So to keep from driving myself crazy, I'm writing something anyway.

The biggest and funniest things that happened this last months have already been recorded in the last few posts about our vacation. Without a doubt, that was a blast. I suspect you had a blast as well, as you are still talking about your grandparents.

I realized this morning, though, that I'd forgotten a couple of great stories from our vacation since I didn't have pictures to go along with them. Together they pretty much sum up your personality right now.

While we were at Nana and Grandpa's house, Grandpa got some new speakers (or receiver or something) for the sound system in their living room. He and Uncle Steve were trying them out with some of Uncle Steve's eclectic music. They found a particularly rockin' song, one that was probably a bit inappropriate to play around you (but you would never know), and you started getting down to it. Lately you've been dancing a lot to all sorts of music anyway, but this was much more energetic than normal. One by one, all of us adults laughed at your dancing and then joined in the fun.

It took the utter lack of self-restraint of a two-year-old to get all of us uptight adults to dance as though nobody was watching, as though we were children ourselves. It was a good lesson for all of us.

Of course, as soon as we were all dancing like crazy people, we realized that somebody was at the front door--the etched glass door that looked right into the living room where we were dancing the toddler dance. Naturally we scattered immediately, but those few moments when you got to teach us how to let loose were worth the resulting embarrassment.

A few nights later, we got to experience our first time in a hotel room with a toddler you and the first time ever with Nathan. Daddy and I were nervous about how exactly we would all get to sleep, especially since you and Nathan are used to falling asleep in a dark room many hours earlier than Daddy and I do. Either we would keep you up late, or we would have to go to bed at 8 with you guys. Without going into details on how that worked out--since that's not the point--I'll just say that it did. We all got a good night's sleep both nights we were in the hotel.

The part Daddy and I loved, though, was listening to you put yourself to sleep. You did what we suspect you do every night after we leave you and Nathan in the room for the night. You started talking to your brother. "Good night, Gaga. Sleep tight. Night night. See you in a little while, Gaga. I love you." And on and on and on. The first night it went on for about half an hour; the second night it was more like two hours.

Nathan fell asleep about five minutes into the talking both nights. Hearing your voice comforted him enough that he fell right to sleep.

That's the kind of relationship you have with your brother these days. You're not without your sibling rivalry for sure. You've been known to kick him or push him when he's getting attention that you want, or sometimes for no reason at all. But minutes later you'll walk up to him and hand him a toy, telling him to "pway, Gaga." You're eager to put him down for a nap and then get him up from a nap and help change his diaper. You want to help feed him and always make sure I'm giving him enough to eat. "Bi, Gaga?"

In return for all your care for him, he loves you like crazy and looks up to you. Everything you do is either awesome or totally hilarious.

Most of the time, I tend to agree. Each month you turn into more and more of a little person with a charming, magnetic personality. If you continue along this route, you'll be completely irresistible by the time you're ten. Already you're someone I can be proud of, and I suspect that pride will only swell as you continue to mature into the awesome kid you're meant to be.

Mommy (or Jigglia, as you called me tonight) loves you, my sweet little man.

Vacation, Part 3

2008-06-06T15:10:00.015-05:00

The last leg of our trip was to San Antonio, where we didn't visit family at all but focused on doing the normal touristy things. We started off in the Japanese tea garden, a lesser-known corner of a huge park that also includes the zoo, where we spent the next morning. The garden is beautiful and perfect for pictures.
Here's the waterfall in one corner.

A picturesque bridge

And another picturesque bridge and the pagoda in the background.

Unfortunately, the garden was a little less than stroller-friendly. There were stone steps everywhere. That was tons of fun with Patrick. He hadn't had a nap, so he screamed anytime he didn't get his way. And since he wanted to be moving every single second, it was tough getting good pictures of him.

So here's one of the better pictures of my three boys; it is one of several pictures that document their progress over the bridge. Patrick wouldn't let them actually stop for a picture. At least they got to slow down.

Then Matt hijacked the camera, and I'm glad he did. I think he ended up with better pictures of me and the boys than I've seen in a long time.

I really like this picture where you can see all the beautiful foliage in the background. You can also see Patrick tugging at my hand to keep moving, a common posture for us this day.

The only time I could get Patrick to stop was when I kneeled down to show him the fish in the water. He actually stayed like this for a long time watching the fish. He told me, "I see fishies," and then helped me compare the big fish and little ones, and fast and slow fish. This was definitely my favorite part of the visit to the garden, without a doubt.

The next day we headed to the zoo. It was super hot, and humid the way it only gets in central and east Texas. We were glad we chose to go in the morning, and even then we only stayed a few hours. Here are a few of the animals we saw; I chose most of the pictures I did because they were the ones whose names Patrick tried to say.

This bear showed off for me. Patrick said it more like "ba."

He also really liked the flamingos. I can't even begin to write how he said it phonetically. You kind of had to be there to hear how cute it was.

This rhino was right up next to the wall, showing off for all of us watching. Patrick easily said rhino for us but stumbled over rhinoceros a bit.

After attempting to say ostrich, Patrick gave up and insisted it was a duckie. Matt and I agreed to compromise with him that it was a big duckie. Really, that's pretty smart, isn't it? He made the connection between the birds even when they looked totally different.

Surprisingly, he said elephant quite clearly. Matt and Patrick stood watching this guy for a long time.

This is how Patrick spent much of the day at the zoo. The rest of the time he was holding one of our hands. We were impressed with just how much he walked at the zoo. I'm sure I tired out long before he did.

And this is how Nathan spent much of the time at the zoo. I don't blame him. It's not like he could see much of the animals anyway. He'll have a lot more fun the next time we go, I'm sure.

I don't have any more pictures of our vacation, but we did have one more exciting outing. Of course we meandered up and down the Riverwalk for a while that evening. By the time we stopped to eat dinner on the Riverwalk, Patrick was starving and ate more than Matt or I did easily. He didn't act at all tired of walking, either, but he didn't argue when we let him take Nathan's spot in the stroller for the walk back to the hotel.

Overall, it was a really fun vacation. I like that we split it up into time spent with family and time spent creating memories with just the four of us--well, five when you include Amber. Still, it's nice to be back home in a routine again.

Vacation, Part 2

2008-06-05T15:32:00.030-05:00

I'm so, so sorry. I took a TON of pictures in Big Spring. I've been narrowing them down ever since, and I still have too many.

I forgot to take any pictures the first day, so I missed my chance to get any of Matt's brother Daniel. Funny that I should notice the pictures I missed when I still have this many, isn't it?

Anyway, we started the pictures with a photo shoot for all three boys. This was the first time we got to meet Corey (sorry if I misspelled that--please let me know if I did), so of course we took tons of pictures.
Yes, Matt got a decent picture of me with the boys, and I know I would catch lots of flak for not including it.

And this was the best one of all three boys. Patrick was being a little less than cooperative (go figure!) and Nathan had lots of fun looking at everything going on, not the camera. Thank goodness Corey is so photogenic!

How cute are these two together? Nathan was very curious about his cousin.

Did anybody guess that Nathan is a bit ticklish? Grammy had fun checking out just how ticklish he is.

I also took some portait-type pictures of Corey. I got a lot of good ones, but I think this one is my favorite. (By the way, if you're reading Jennifer, did you get those pictures yet? Do I need to burn a CD and send it to you?)

Boys and their toys...sigh. Gramps, Papa, and Nathan are all fascinated by that cell phone.

Gramps might as well be called the dog whisperer. The sad part is that this isn't even all the dogs that were there. Tootsie and Mitzi didn't make it in the picture. (And for those of you wondering, all six dogs were great with the kids. The biggest dogs are actually the most gentle, too.)

Patrick showed off his stripping skills as soon as the photo shoot ended. We couldn't keep him in clothes for the rest of the day. As for the expression on his face...I have no idea. :)

He's serious about riding that Harley. It makes a grandpa proud, doesn't it Papa? He's just missing a leather diaper.

Patrick had lots of fun with his great-grandparents. They both have a way with kids.

Gigi has the touch. She managed to get Patrick to sit still long enough to read a whole book. For Patrick, that's quite the achievement.

I LOVE this picture of the two of them. They are so photogenic, and they look so happy together.

For something different, we tried Nathan in the swing that was out more for Corey's sake. He had fun, as you can tell, but it didn't quite relax him the way it does for Corey. Patrick really thought that swing was cool, too.

Patrick kept wanting to wear these sunglasses, but he wore them on his head as often as he did on his face. And he never wore them outside. The things we'll do for fashion.

Papa and Gigi have a nice, lush, huge yard, so we took the boys outside late one afternoon to see if we could get a few pictures of them together. We have so few decent ones after all. For once, I think we got some pretty cute pictures. This is my favorite. I particularly like the pine cone that Patrick insisted on bringing inside with him. Somehow it didn't quite make it home, though...

Hmmm, I don't know about this picture. Neither does Nathan apparently.

That same evening, we drove up on the "mountain" (I think it's really just a big hill, but humor this Houstonian) that overlooks Big Spring for some more photo ops. If you look closely in the background of several of these pictures, you'll see some of the booming metropolis of Big Spring.

Aren't they cute? I haven't gotten too many pictures of Nathan with his daddy lately.

Nathan and Gigi are taking in the view. It was super windy (what, in west Texas on top of a mountain?), so you'll have to excuse the women's hair in these pictures.

Papa did a great job taking charge of Patrick and making sure he didn't run right down the side of the mountain. Patrick, that is, not Papa.

Because clearly Patrick was determined to get somewhere he wasn't supposed to.

Patrick and Daddy are taking in the view. By the way, you may notice the sky. Never, ever will I find a sky that compares to the sky in west Texas. It's always bluer and bigger there.

I attempted a group shot, too (I'm behind the camera, before you ask), but obviously it's easier said than done. This was actually the best one I got. At least both Matt and Gigi are looking at the camera, right?

They're not as close to the edge as they look. I promise. But that is typical of Patrick, isn't it? Let's get as close to the edge as possible and then lean over it. That kid's going to give me a heart attack one of these days.

Yes, I did hand over the camera for a few minutes anyway. I'm not overly fond of the picture, but I'm blaming it on the wind. Nathan, however, posed perfectly as usual.

At the very peak of the mountain is a playground. You didn't think we could leave before letting the boys play some, did you? These are the stairs to the playground.

The three generations of men swinging. I'm not sure who was having more fun here, Patrick or his daddy.

The kid looks like he's having fun, doesn't he? You can credit this photo to Papa who took over for a few minutes so that I could reclaim my own childhood in another swing.

Nathan was a little less thrilled about the whole idea of swinging in a big boy swing, but he obliged long enough for a few pictures.

Then Patrick tried the big boy slide. I managed not to have a heart attack with this one because he clung to both his grandparents' hands the whole way down. I'm not sure whether he loved the slide because of the rush of cruising down it or because he got to hang on to his grandparents as he did so.

And tomorrow, our weekend in San Antonio. I promise not quite so many pictures from this leg of the trip!

Vacation, Part 1

2008-06-04T14:33:00.013-05:00

For the first leg of our vacation, we went to Dallas to spend Memorial Day weekend with my parents and older brother, sister-in-law, and niece. It was a fun, relaxing weekend. Our outings were limited to the occasional shopping trip, church, and a meal out. Church was interesting, what with entertaining two babies and a toddler the whole time. Nathan ended up sleeping, and by some miracle Nana kept Patrick content through the whole service. I've got to give her credit for even trying, much less accomplishing the task.

Shortly after we arrived Friday afternoon, Nana enlisted Patrick's help in cooking dinner. He was more than happy to oblige.
This is how we discovered that Patrick is a huge fan of tomatoes. I don't get it; Matt and I both hate it. He couldn't get enough of it and kept sneaking bites while preparing dinner. We also discovered during the weekend that he likes raw onion (yuck!), and he even tried steak and other meats that he always turns up his nose at.

The first night, the babies had story time with Nana before bed. While they were interested in the book, I think they were just as interested in each other.

This piano was the favorite toy for both our boys. I'd like to be able to say this duet was sweet and melodic, but I suspect Grandpa (Be-paw, as Patrick called him) was in the other room covering his ears about now.

And here's Nathan showing off his musical talent alone. I was actually a little surprised at how much he enjoyed playing the piano and how capable he was of hitting the keys.

One of the highlights of the trip for me was watching the babies together. You may remember that Abby and Nathan are almost exactly the same age; Nathan is older by only ten days. It was interesting watching them interact, especially Nathan's reaction to Abby since he doesn't see babies his age very often.

They played together for a long time this day, posing for endless pictures by both me and Steve.

They even "shared" their toys so nicely. Really, they just took turns stealing favorite toys from each other, but neither seemed to mind this system too much.

Then Patrick woke up from his afternoon nap, starving for a snack. As soon as Nana had poured him a bowl of crackers (or something), he dragged her by the hand to the couch, insisting that she sit with him while he ate. Daphne (Steve and Ginny's dog) came of her own accord. I think it was the bowl of food that was the main attraction for her.

After our traditional Memorial Day cookout, the boys took a dip in the baby-sized backyard swimming pool Steve and Ginny had picked up for the occasion. This was Nathan's first time ever to swim, and it was the first time Patrick ever swam in a pool that was more his size. Both boys had tons of fun splashing. Patrick was quite reluctant to get out. (And yes, they are this pasty white. They take after me.)

This was about when our camera ran out of battery, so I didn't get pictures of Abby and Patrick swimming a few minutes later.

Monday evening I made an attempt to get pictures of the boys with their grandparents. It suddenly hit me after Steve and Ginny and Abby left that I hadn't gotten any good pictures of the three of them, or the aunt and uncle with their nephews. I was trying to make up for some lost time by getting grandparent pictures anyway.

Obviously Nathan was quite cooperative, posing perfectly and flashing the perfect smile.

Patrick, however? He was the usual Patrick. This is the best family shot I got of all four of them. Always the ham, that one.

Don't forget...tomorrow you'll get the second leg of our vacation, the time in Big Spring.

Sorry to Disappear on You

2008-06-03T11:52:00.002-05:00

I know most of you know already, but for those of you who don't, I didn't blog for the last week and a half because we were on vacation. I successfully curbed my blogging and Internet habit for the full ten days we were gone. But now that we're back, my addiction is back in full force. It's a good thing because I have zillions of pictures to show off. Since our vacation happened in three parts (Dallas, Big Spring, and San Antonio), I'll probably do the pictures in the same three parts. I'll try to remember the stories I should tell as I post the pictures.

I'll try to do phase one this afternoon while the boys sleep. If not, I should get to it tomorrow. Either way, stay tuned for the rest of the week so you can follow us along on our exciting vacation.

Eight Months

2008-05-22T13:21:00.007-05:00

Dear Nathan,

You know what I just realized? Eight months sounds awfully old. You're not exactly that little newborn baby anymore. But while I miss him, I love you so much more.
You have a great personality. The more I get to see of your personality, the more I like it. You are still a happy baby, and you're letting me capture more and more of your deliriously happy moments with the camera. In fact, sometimes I think you ham it up for the camera a bit. It makes for some great pictures and really shows everybody who reads the blog who you really are.

At the same time, you are completely sweet. You still love snuggling, almost as much as you love playing with your toys. And boy do you love your brother. It cracks me up to watch you with Patrick. You constantly reach for him, desperate to communicate to him how much you look up to him through a simple touch of his hand or his hair. His response? To push you away, sometimes kind of roughly. That doesn't change your feelings about him, though. If anything, it only makes you more eager to get him the next time.

You have also started picking up on his emotions. When he laughs, you do too. Sometimes you'll even laugh at things without him around that he has laughed at before. I think you're laughing because it must be funny since Patrick thinks so. Of course, the other side of the coin happens too. Some of your saddest cries, with the biggest crocodile tears, happen only because your brother is crying. At times like that, all I can do is sigh and smile that you're close enough to share emotions and not worry that both of my boys are crying like the world is ending.

This was also the month of the teeth, especially the last two weeks. You were sprouting a whole mouthful of them at once. As of now, you have three top teeth and one more slowpoke still waiting to make its way through the gums. This round of teething was certainly worse for both of us. You woke up lots at night needing comfort, which I was happy to provide, even when I could barely keep my eyes open. Still, you never had long crying spurts; you were just too uncomfortable to sleep. Now that they're in the past, I think I'll always fondly remember those long wakeful hours in the dead of night spent holding you in front of the TV while we waited on the latest round of medicine to take effect. And you have come out of the teething a still-sweet, toothy baby. You love showing off your new teeth with your huge grins.

Something else I can't forget to mention this month is your grabbiness. You have certainly figured out what those hands are for, and you are always using them to grab something. It's cute, but also kind of frustrating. I can't carry you around the house anymore while I'm carrying anything else, or else it will take everything I have to keep you in my arms as you reach as far as possible to grab what else I'm carrying. I think your favorite objects to grab are the remote control and my cell phone--proof you're your daddy's child. Considering how often these objects you grab end up in your mouth, I think you'll be ready to find foods you can feed yourself soon. I can't believe you could already be ready for that! Didn't you just start eating solid foods?

Your physical growth is starting to taper off, however. You still eat like crazy, but your metabolism must be speeding up or something (probably from all the squirming, kicking, and general moving you do) because you're not gaining weight as quickly as I would expect you to. In fact, I think at your nine-month check-up next month we will find that your weight is at a lower percentile than it has been in the past. I guess it's to be expected though; none of the rest of the family is of an average size, so eventually your growth would slow down too. At least you still have those adorable chunky thighs, though, even if the rest of you is looking a little more trim.

I'm afraid sometimes I spoil you, Nathan. I probably did the same with Patrick at this age, but I've forgotten by now. But how can I refuse anything you want, when you ask with that charming grin? I'd do anything for you, and happily. I just love you so much, more than I ever thought possible. You make my day when you look up at me and flash me that smile, and I know in that toothy moment that you love me just as much.

Love,

Mommy

Giggle Wednesday

2008-05-21T12:21:00.005-05:00

Any of you stressing here in the middle of the week...say because of end-of-school insanity or something (ahem)...Patrick thought you could use a giggle or two. Or some uproarious laughter.

I don't think he was doing the disco, but you never can tell with this one.

The clothes weren't cute enough on him; the dinosaur had to wear them too.

For months and months, I've been concerned that Patrick couldn't point to different body parts like all the milestones say he should. He could point to his belly button and eventually say it, but that was it. Of course, I never could tell if he couldn't do that or just wouldn't. Lately he has started naming his toes, but I still didn't know if he actually knew more body parts than this. Apparently he just couldn't do things the normal way.

"Patrick, where's your nose?"

"No!"

"Patrick, where's your eye?"
"Eyyyyyyye!"

"Patrick, where's your mouth?"

"Mouf!"

"Yummy, toes!" (Yes, this is an actual quote from him--translated anyway.)

And Five

2008-05-18T19:54:00.002-05:00

This morning tooth number five cut through Nathan's gums. It's one of the top teeth just next to the middle two. I think we need just one more top tooth before this round of teething is over. The two bottom teeth that were threatening to cut seem to have receded again. They'll probably show up next time.

...And Four

2008-05-15T19:36:00.002-05:00

That's right. Early this morning when he woke me up from the pain, I noticed that the very corner of the other top middle tooth had broken through the gums. Now we only have two more top ones to go and maybe life can return to normal. As long as more don't decide to make an appearance between now and then. Once they get a little farther in, I'll make sure to get a picture to show them off.

Today Brings #3

2008-05-13T13:23:00.002-05:00

After many sleepless nights over the last week or so, Nathan finally sprouted tooth #3 this morning, the top middle right one. He still has three more on the top that feel like they will cut at any moment. I suspect we won't actually get a break from the teething until that happens, but maybe he got a little bit of relief this morning when it finally cut.

Random Pictures

2008-05-13T13:09:00.009-05:00

I've been collecting pictures that I've wanted to post, but none of them related, so I've been putting it off. Well, it's time to show them off, even if they seem totally random together.

I was testing out my flash that was being finicky, and Matt decided to be silly for me. I'm glad the flash worked after all!

This dinosaur is his new favorite stuffed animal. He carries it around much of the day and refuses to sleep without his "di-uh-suh."

He also decided randomly the other day that he wanted to be a hat boy. For someone who has refused to wear a hat his entire life, this is hilarious to me. He even insisted on wearing this hat to the grocery store the other day.

Patrick got a gift when I got the box of birthday presents from my parents last week. He used this box as his little house all day long. He actually had fun closing himself up totally in the box and would get frustrated if he couldn't keep all the flaps closed. I felt like an awful mom closing up my kid in a tiny box, but that's what he wanted!

I don't remember learning to sit with my legs crossed this young. Isn't that something that's usually taught, not done instinctively?

I have several cute Amber pictures I haven't gotten around to posting. She's just such a cutie and loves posing for me.

Hehe. He was getting frustrated that he couldn't get the other sandal on, so he put on his boot instead. I love his unique sense of style.

Amber curled up on the couch

A hilarious doggy yawn

The Dreaded 29

2008-05-09T11:48:00.013-05:00

Yesterday I celebrated the last birthday I will celebrate for a long time...29. From here on out, I guess I just get to celebrate 29 again and again, right? Is that how it works? I finally caught up to my mom's age!

We didn't do too much to celebrate, but I did have several presents and cards to open and Matt is taking me on a shopping spree for new clothes. I've already gotten some stuff, but he doesn't think that's nearly enough yet. Have I mentioned how much I love my husband?

Matt also followed through with a new tradition we started two years ago on my birthday--taking pictures of me with Patrick. This year, though, the photo shoot was much more complicated with two boys to figure in, especially when one of them has trouble sitting still. I'm quite impressed with some of the shots he managed to capture. (By the way, if you want to see last year's go here, and the year before's pictures are here.)

A Toothy Grin

2008-05-08T11:44:00.002-05:00

Any minute now, my two-toothed baby could sprout up to four more teeth. I thought I'd better let him show off the two he has before that happens.

Thirty-One Months

2008-05-07T13:04:00.008-05:00

Dear Patrick,

This month, more than any other we've been through yet, you are two. All of a sudden, every little thing you do reminds me of just how two you really are. For months, I've been telling myself that it was great that you weren't quite normal, that you didn't do a lot of things the way a normal two-year-old would, tantrums notwithstanding of course.
Then this month, you must have finally finished reading the two-year-old's handbook that someone slipped you awhile back. You also must have been taking copious notes, because it is all so typical two-year-old.

Every day, your daddy gets home from work to be greeted with all the hilarious stories of your antics for the day. It's everything from wearing sunglasses at the lunch table to "feeding" your little brother to walking around using the ring stacker's rings as shoes. At the same time, I attempt to remember all your new words from the day, and I'm finding it difficult to remember them all. Your language has taken off that much that I'd have to follow you around with a notebook (one of your favorite words, by the way, thanks to your friends Steve and Blue) to keep track of them all.

You have two new favorite activities from the month. One is clearly a stereotypical two-year-old's favorite show: Blue's Clues. You ask for it during breakfast, long before you've eaten your fill, and you continue to ask for it as soon as one episode ends. We could easily watch episode after episode all day long. You even talk to Steve now, getting upset with him when he can't see that clue that's right there. Come on, Steve! I'm two and I can see that!

I love that it's helping your vocabulary. You've learned to identify trees (twees) from Steve, as well as what crayons (cwahs) are used for. I have to watch the show with you so that I'll be able to interpret what new words you use during the day, because the odds are that if you didn't just repeat what I said, it was something you learned from Steve.

In fact, your language is catching up so well that your ECI teacher is impressed each time she shows up. Yesterday we got to boast that you finally said your own name, just Monday night. She gives us an assignment of something to work on over the next couple of weeks until we see her again, and each time you master the concept easily. I think she's about ready to boot you out of the program because you're going to be communicating at a far advanced level if they keep up this work.

She also taught you the wonders of coloring yesterday. You've colored occasionally before, but you embraced the concept yesterday, insisting on coloring all day long. Technically, though, you insisted I color all day long. You've developed a passion for circles in particular, and you spent the day forcing the crayon into my hand so I could draw another circle for you, something you don't quite have the motor skills for yet. Then you walked around with your masterpiece, trying to hang it on the wall. I gave you a magnet and showed you how to make it stick on the fridge, but you got quite frustrated when it didn't work on the wall. We eventually compromised by hanging it on the fridge out of your reach, but that only happened after many tears.

Despite the tantrum yesterday, though, they haven't been quite as bad recently. At least you usually have a reason for your tantrums. Either something isn't working the way you want it to or you're not getting your way. I suspect that you're communicating well enough now that communication frustrations are rarely the cause of your tantrums any longer. Now you're upset because even though you've effectively communicated what you wanted, you still don't always get whatever it is you want. I know it's a hard lesson to learn, that the world doesn't revolve around your desires, but I have faith that you will learn it eventually.

Despite the occasional tantrums, I still love the little boy you're growing into. You are a lot of fun with a hilarious (although sometimes cruel) sense of humor. Yet you can be just as sweet as you can be funny. You love all of us in your family with an exuberance that warms my heart. You are smart and observant and insistent upon cleanliness. All of this makes you into the unique you I've come to know and love so well over the last two and a half years. And I know that as you continue to mature and grow, you will teach me to love you even more and in new ways than I ever thought possible.

Love,
Mommy

A Story in Pictures

2008-05-05T14:23:00.003-05:00

Background: Sometimes when I'm making dinner and Matt's not available (like when he's away on a business trip), I let Nathan play in his high chair until we're all ready to eat. This evening, Patrick took it upon himself to start feeding Nathan while I got our meals ready.

And yes, if you look closely, you'll see the food is still closed. Only imaginary food ended up on the spoon or in Nathan's mouth.

"Here, Nathan! Try this!"

"Cool! Look what I found. Thanks, Patrick!"

"No, Gaga! Take that out of your mouth. I can't feed you if you have the spoon!"

Fulfilled Expectations

2008-05-04T17:02:00.002-05:00

I'll never forget one day when I was a math teacher. As we all gathered in the math department office to eat lunch, several teachers started an intellectual discussion about derivatives, the unit circle, and other, more complicated math issues. They quickly left me behind with their far superior knowledge, but all I could do was start giggling. Unable to see what was so funny about derivatives, they asked me why I was laughing. "Because this is what our students think we must talk about over lunch!"

And ever since then I've noticed occasions in my life when things have happened exactly as people would picture them, as I would picture them. There was the day when I held Patrick for the first time, and looking down at that tiny body looking up at me and feeling the complete awe that I was a mother and this was the child I had waited so long to meet--that was absolutely how I expected to feel (even if none of the rest of the birth was at all as I'd expected). It was the same when the nurses placed a gooey Nathan on my belly moments after his birth, and I felt this surge of love for him, my first words to him being, "I love you, little Nathan."

Then yesterday, I looked over at Patrick having lunch and realized that it was exactly how I expected life with a two-year-old to be.
He even gave me a cheesy grin (get it? he's eating a grilled cheese) to complete the look.

Just Like Mommy

2008-05-02T12:57:00.003-05:00

I wish. This latest cute thing Patrick does...we have no idea where he came up with it.

I noticed this morning that he wasn't using his bat like a normal bat. He was walking around with it making a "Ssss" noise. I couldn't figure out what he was doing until he leaned down and made a wiping motion on the floor.

He was "cleaning" with the bat as his cleaning solution. He even started telling me about how he was going to "clee uh" (clean up).

Now I understand where he got the phrase "clean up," since we've said that to him pretty often, especially after meals. But I don't know the last time he's seen me clean with some sort of cleaning solution. On the rare occasions that happens, he's taking a nap. My best guess would be that he has a great memory and can recall the times he helped me clean our glass-topped coffee table. That hasn't happened when he helped probably since Nathan was born, but I guess it's possible he remembers cleaning with me like that. It certainly seemed to make an impression at the time.

Either way, all this pretend play sure makes me out to be a good mommy--taking care of diapers, baths, and feeding, as well as plenty of cleaning. I hope that's really how he sees me!

Patrick-isms

2008-05-01T13:05:00.003-05:00

Although Patrick's vocabulary is still growing by leaps and bounds, he still insists on calling his brother Gaga. It's so common to hear now that sometimes I slip and call him Gaga around Patrick. At least we both understand each other, right?

Lately, though, this has become much funnier. You see, Nathan has learned how to say his name. Along with the "mama"s, "baba"s, "nana"s, and "dada"s, he can now say "gagaga." I wish I could believe he was imitating his brother or actually saying his own name, but it's cute even if it is just another random sound he's learned to make.

I particularly love when Nathan happens to spout into a round of "gagaga"s at the same time that Patrick is talking about his gaga.

Speaking of some of Patrick's favorite words, I got creative the other day and combined a few of those favorite words to come up with a new lunch for him. He's grown tired of our usual quick lunches and was in need of something to switch up the routine. So I pulled out the tortillas and a slice of American cheese and made him a super easy, impromptu quesadilla.

Unfortunately, Patrick refuses to associate this new meal with the quesadillas his daddy makes so well. He refuses to call it a quesadilla (which, yes, he can and does say). Instead it's a tortilla with cheese. Yesterday that was a "toeteechee." Today it's more mature--a "toeteeya uh chee."

It's great that something so incredibly simple has not only filled his belly better than any other meal in quite some time but is helping improve his vocabulary too. Although I can't help but wonder if we eat Mexican food too much when his limited vocabulary includes both "quesadilla" AND "tortilla."

A Slow Week

2008-04-30T11:56:00.002-05:00

It's been a slow week for cute and hilarious stories. The boys have just been normal cute and hilarious without anything spectacular to report.

Nathan has decided to be an early bird, though. I'm not loving this new phase so much. He wakes up with the sun, basically, and doesn't want to take a nap until I've given up and gotten the house up for the day. Then he decides a nap is mandatory, when I can't go back to sleep. That one has a cruel streak, I think.

At least he's still sleeping well at night. And he's just so cute when he's awake that it's hard not to give him what he wants.

He Cracks Me Up

2008-04-25T13:16:00.003-05:00

Thank goodness. Patrick seems to have made a complete recovery from the horrific toe injury. He woke up this morning having forgotten all about the boo-boo.

He still hobbled around most of the day yesterday, though. Matt got to see it when he got home from work, and we just about collapsed in giggles watching him limp with such exaggeration, only using the heel of that foot. I'm laughing again now just remembering.

Then he got hyper, which is inevitable these days, and forgot to limp as he walked. If I hadn't already suspected he was just fine, that proved it. I'm glad he pulled through it; it was rough there for a while (*rolling my eyes*).

If There Was Any Doubt

2008-04-24T13:03:00.003-05:00

Patrick is so definitely my kid. Today he learned the word "boo-boo," and all of a sudden it's his favorite word.

We were outside playing with the dog (who was really more lolling in the grass) when Patrick slipped on our patio and skinned his knee--just barely. After cleaning it, however, I noticed that his toe was also injured, although whether this happened at the same time the knee was skinned I have no idea.

The toe isn't bad either, just a little skin pulled away from the top of the toenail. It looks a bit uncomfortable but nothing else. In fact, Patrick didn't even notice it until I brought it to his attention by putting a Band-aid on it--his first.

I explained to him that we were putting a Band-aid on his boo-boo to help it feel better faster and at Matt's suggestion gave him some M&M's to help it feel better (and distract him from the Band-aid that he desperately wanted to peel off).

Since then he has been oddly sedate. I've hardly coaxed even a smile out of him, and he keeps looking at the offending toe. When he got up after lunch, his first attempt walking on the foot since the bandaging, he hobbled with an obvious limp to the couch, where he has sat watching Blue's Clues intently ever since, occasionally reaching an arm down that leg, probably to play with the Band-aid, but he keeps resisting the temptation at the last second.

So he can bump his head hard against the table or something without seeming to even notice, but the second I put on a Band-aid, he puts on a show for me. I wonder where he could have picked up such dramatics about injuries...

Amber Unintentionally Calms the Boy

2008-04-23T12:41:00.002-05:00

Patrick woke up from yesterday's nap crying. This happens often. You see, he insists on his full nighttime routine even for naps. This includes covering him with every single blanket in the house, nearly. When he's particularly tired, he forgets to shed the extra coverings before dozing off. In the winter, this isn't a big problem. Matt and I are cheap enough that we keep the house a bit cool in the winter to save on heating bills.

In the sudden summer that hit...oh, Monday here...this can be a real problem. We're equally as cheap in warm weather, so the house is fairly toasty all the time. The ceiling fans only help the problem minimally. So when Patrick forgets to toss off the covers before falling asleep, he wakes up miserably hot. Cue the crying.

There's little I can do to help him feel better until he has cooled off, so I usually give him a few minutes to crawl out from the sweat-soaked covers and compose himself before rescuing him. After all, why should I frustrate myself trying to calm him down when all it needs is time, something he can take care of on his own?

But yesterday the few minutes weren't enough. I had to go help calm him down. I decided when I saw his sweaty hair that one of his favorite activities might be in order--a bath. I left him in his room for another couple of minutes while I gathered everything for his bath.

While I'm gone, I notice the crying has stopped. A minute later from his room: "Ah-boo. Ge dah. Ge. Dah. Ah-boo!" When I peek into his room, I'm already prepared for the scene. Patrick hasn't moved an inch from his spot in bed, but Amber is sitting at the foot of his bed. She's not doing anything but apparently it bothers him that she's there.

He is lying down, barely suppressing his giggles, as he adamantly tells Amber to get down off the bed. I was already smiling at this when I noticed the kicker: he had his pointer finger out, admonishing her, waving it around as though this is what would coax her off the bed more than his harsh words.

Funny enough, she didn't quickly respond to my orders to get off the bed either, as it was barely audible between my own giggles.

By the way, when he got out of bed, he'd left a Patrick-shaped sweatstain on the sheets. Poor thing. No wonder he woke up crying.

Seven Months

2008-04-22T13:27:00.009-05:00

Dear Nathan,

Seven months sounds so old. You're not my little newborn anymore. While I miss those sweet, precious newborn days, I wouldn't trade the sweet you I've come to know for anything.
I remember thinking when your brother was this age that this was my favorite age for him and I didn't want him to grow up any. I knew I'd always look back to when he was 6-7 months and think fondly of that time. I'm reminded often of that as you go through the same age.

There's just something so cool about getting to watch your personality develop, to watch as you develop an interest in toys (and puppy dogs)--yet you stay so happy most of the time. You embrace the world around you that you are just beginning to become fully aware of, but you haven't learned yet that sometimes you have control over it and sometimes you don't--one of the leading causes of toddler tantrums, I believe.

Even more than most babies your age, you are still so happy. I know I say this every month, but it still astounds me every month--every day even. All it takes is a glance or a goofy face or Patrick being...well, Patrick and you break out in the biggest grin with those adorable dimples. Your laugh and smile never fail to get a smile out of any of us, no matter how early in the morning it is.

You have started babbling lots as well. If you need something, even just attention, you'll start with the babbling before moving onto whining and crying. I have to admit that I'm a lot more likely to rush into your room after your nap when I hear you calling out, "Mamamamamama," than when you scream. And I know I'm just that biased mom saying it, but I think you may sort of connect your words with the responses you get. You say, "Mamama," when you want something from me and "Dadada" when you want Daddy's attention. I'm not sure what you want when you say, "Nanananana" yet, but that's another of your favorites.

Speaking of "nana," Patrick's word for bananas (and Nana), you are doing extremely well with the whole eating thing. You eat everything you're offered and love solid foods. Maybe we were unintentionally starving you and that's why your weight gain was tapering off just a bit because now you can't get enough. You're already eating stage two foods (Gerber's) and love trying new flavors. I haven't found one you won't eat, although you do give great faces for green beans. We are also trying some true solid foods for you, at the doctor's suggestion. He wants you to know how to handle a Cheerio or goldfish the first time Patrick decides to share one with you and I can't intercept it in time. So far we have only tried you on tiny pieces of banana, but you've handled it well. You just gum it until it feels like the normal pureed food.

Lately you've had a hard time deciding who your favorite family member is. You love me because I feed you, attend to most of your needs, and love on you. You love Daddy with that wide-eyed awe and strive to get his attention any time he's around, even when I'm feeding you in bed on Saturday mornings when he's sleeping next to me. But the real challenge is between Patrick and Amber. You idolize Patrick and think everything he does is funny (don't encourage him!). You're desperate for attention from him even more than Daddy, and even when it's not the most gentle attention. But Amber--you get plenty of attention from her and put up with lengthy bathings from her and clearly love it. Today at lunch you were sitting in your little rocking chair while the rest of us ate, and Amber was sitting at your feet. You kept rocking forward and leaning over to try to reach her. I think you would sit all day with at least one hand on the puppy if she would let you.

You're moving through all your milestones so fast. You realize your brother wasn't sitting competently like you are until he was about nine months old? I highly suspect you'll be crawling by then, a feat he didn't accomplish until he was over a year old. You're already quite competent at getting where you want to go by squirming. You're really good at it on your back, but now that you've figured out you can do it on your belly too, the position isn't as awful for you. I think that will quickly prompt you to try really crawling. And that's when the real parenting begins, especially since we have all of Patrick's "dangerous" toys strewn all over the floor at any given time.

But please don't be in a rush to grow up too fast. While I get excited about each new milestone, I know that we have entered a new stage and left the last one behind. I'm never quite ready to leave that last stage behind (except perhaps for the night-wakings stage). But even if you do rush through all these stages in front of you, I'll keep loving you exactly for who you are. You are absolutely precious to me, a fact you insist on reminding me of every single day. You are a joy to be around, something I hope I can remember when you hit the surly teenager stage. Hopefully you will continue to grow up just as happy and easygoing as you are right now. You will if I have anything to say about it...but I'll love you with all my heart no matter how you end up.

Love,

Mommy

A Great Picture

2008-04-21T13:35:00.001-05:00

Patrick had a piece of his daddy's birthday cake last week.
But only one.

Boys Will Be Boys

2008-04-17T11:26:00.002-05:00

I think my years teaching freshmen prepared me to be the mom of two boys. Do you think boys are born with that sense of humor we associate with little boys? Because Patrick seems to have it.

We've had a couple of bad allergy days around here, and as a result, Patrick has learned the word "booger." He giggles uncontrollably every time he says it, too. I'd like to think it's just a funny-sounding word, but more than likely it's just that boogers are innately funny.

So are farts and fart noises. Last night for dinner we were having French fries, which of course need ketchup. The ketchup made that fart noise as Matt squeezed some out, and Patrick immediately started laughing. It was the funniest thing he'd heard all day.

Then this morning, I watched as he strained and his face turned red. He wasn't pooping, though, because a second later, I heard a loud fart echo in his booster chair. He laughed so hard at that one, immediately saying, "poot," right after it happened and then declaring it "yucky."

I'm afraid I'm not helping matters by laughing along with him. I try not to giggle, but I find situations like that funny even before Patrick reacts to them (thank you freshmen boys). Then when Patrick starts laughing, I can't help myself. Oh, well, he'd learn the humor in bodily functions by the time he got in elementary school anyway, right? He might as well be precocious in this area.

Cl-Cl Is My New Best Friend

2008-04-16T11:10:00.002-05:00

I have found a way to get Patrick to sit still! After forcing it down his throat for months, he has finally developed a normal toddler's obsession for children's TV. His favorite is Blue's Clues, which he asks for by name. It sounds like Cl-Cl when he says it, but I know what he means. And he asks for it all day long. I have watched the same two episodes of it (that we have recorded on our DVR) probably five times each. Oddly enough, I don't care. It keeps him happy and calm, and it is teaching him good things. We also like The Backyardigans (still), but he only asks for that after feeding the Blue's Clues obsession.

I'm excited enough about this development that I'm already dreaming about a Blue's Clues theme for his third birthday party, even if it's only a family party. I guess I'll give it a few more months before buying a Blue cake pan and plates and napkins, just in case he finds a new obsession between now and then. But I think I could actually decorate a Blue cake, so I hope this one sticks around until October.

What I Want to Remember

2008-04-15T12:34:00.002-05:00

It's the middle of the night, and the house is quiet. I'm desperate for sleep, my eyes trying to close on their own despite my best efforts to prevent that very thing. I'm frustrated and grumpy, jealous at the heavy breathing I'm hearing on the other side of the room that tells me Matt and Amber are getting the sleep I wish I could get.

Instead, I'm rocking back and forth, back and forth in the glider, with Nathan passed out on my chest. It's the third time he's woken up after getting put in bed, and I'm out of ideas how to get him to sleep. He won't let me put him down without screaming as though he's in pain. I've gone through the whole list of possible problems and solutions, and nothing seems to be helping him--just sleeping on me while I gently rock him.

As I attempt to overcome the frustration that I'm not sleeping, I'm transported back several months, to the days when this glider got used regularly. I remember the days when Nathan was a newborn suffering from awful gas pain that we had yet to diagnose. He would cry for no reason at night for sometimes hours at a time. I finally found a specific way to hold and rock him as I walked, and I spent hours pacing and rocking, pacing and rocking, until he was relaxed enough that I could carefully perch on the glider, keeping up the same rhythm of the rocking with my arms sore from holding his weight for that long. I remember how anxious I was that any change on my part would wake him, bringing on the crying fit yet again. In these days, the whole goal was to be able to eventually transfer him to his bed without disturbing his sleep.

How could it be that I miss these days with all the anxiety of getting him to sleep? How could I have not grasped the wonder at the time that I had a miracle sleeping in my arms, that I alone could find the formula to his contentment in the midst of such pain?

So tonight I change my goal; it is no longer to get him to sleep in his own bed but to cherish the precious moments I'm sharing with him. I focus on the increasing weight of his body against my chest as he falls into a deeper sleep, his gentle sigh-breathing against the backdrop of his daddy's heavy near-snores, the soft fuzz of his hair tickling my chin. This is what I will remember from the night, not the frustration or sleep deprivation.

Moments like these are growing few and far between, and I do not want to look back months and years down the line and wish I had taken time to cherish the occasion instead of complaining about it. Instead, this moment will be wrapped up and placed in the far corners of my memory where I can treasure it and pull it out from time to time to reminisce about such sweet moments I have shared with my precious son.

Happy Birthday to the Love of My Life

2008-04-14T16:31:00.002-05:00

Twenty-seven years ago today, a wonderful woman gave me the greatest gift she could--she gave birth to a wonderful baby boy who grew up into an even more wonderful man. I didn't know it at the time (how could I, since I was only almost two?), but this day would forever change my life.

For on this day twenty-seven years ago, Matt was born.

I wish I could find more to do for him today in recognition of his birthday to make up for all the many, many things he has done for me over the past three years. Something tells me a cake and a blog post don't quite cut it.

Either way, honey, please accept this as my attempt to make your birthday special. You mean so much to me. I love you with all my heart and hope this twenty-eighth year can be your best yet, and I'm glad I get to be a part of it.

He's a Biter

2008-04-12T13:23:00.002-05:00

Yup, you heard right. Mom, you can start laughing right about now; you're getting your revenge. Now that Nathan has those two adorable little teeth, he's interested in what they're there for. Add to that all the other little teeth under his gums that are considering following in the footsteps of their adventurous brothers, and Nathan can't keep from trying out the little choppers.

It hurts on your finger and arm, and I've had the hickeys to prove it.

It's just plain annoying when he goes after the spoon when he's being fed.

But it's downright excruciating when he chooses to try them out while nursing.

Patrick learned a valuable lesson the other day: he is not the only one in the house capable of being punished. He learned quite quickly that the results of Nathan biting is a very light swat on the butt (which he wishes he could administer for me).

Unfortunately, Nathan doesn't quite understand how the consequences relate to the behavior yet. And he just keeps biting. I'm a bit nervous each and every time he goes to eat, and I'm constantly sore from all the times I've already been used as a teething ring.

Mom, I'm so sorry. If I could go back in time to when I was a baby and unbite you, I would. I certainly feel your pain now.

(By the way, the complaint is meant mostly in jest. Yes, it hurts, but I understand he's a baby and doesn't get it yet. I'll just put up with the pain until he does begin to understand he's hurting Mommy.)

At Least His Friends Aren't Imaginary Too

2008-04-11T11:16:00.005-05:00

Patrick started playing a new game yesterday, one that I love. It's the "change diaper" or "take a bath" game. It started when he started asking for "change diaper." But he wouldn't lie down for me to change his diaper, so I let it go at the time. A few minutes later, he runs into the room with a diaper off the dresser (that I didn't know he could reach). He brought it to me along with his teddy bear and again told me to "change diaper."

So I put the diaper on the teddy bear, which he loved. We put the diaper on the bear and then took it back off over and over, with him proclaiming the diaper was yucky each time. Then it dawned on him that he needed to clean the yucky, so he appeared with the box of wipes that I also didn't think he could reach. I compromised with him and found him a paper towel to use instead, so we added wiping the bear's bottom to the routine.

A few minutes later, he showed up with an outfit of Nathan's that hadn't been hung up yet (I need more baby hangers...already). He insisted that it be put "back on," so dressing the bear became part of the routine as well. The outfit definitely fits Nathan better, but it works well enough on the bear to satisfy Patrick.
But changing the bear's diaper wasn't enough. He started insisting that we "take a bath." It didn't take me long to figure out that he didn't want a bath but wanted to bathe the bear instead. No way was I taking the bear into the bathroom to give him a pretend bath in the tub with the faucet that Patrick knows how to turn on. I found Nathan's little baby tub that he recently outgrew and gave him that to use to bathe the bear. I also found him a washcloth and his own bottle of "lo-shoo" (empty travel-sized bottle of baby soap) for him to use in his pretend play.
Since then, several of his stuffed animals have gotten baths, and he also pretends to bathe himself in the little tub. He got a real bath yesterday afternoon, and he was quite ready for it to end so that he could go back to pretending to bathe. Makes perfect sense, doesn't it?

**By the way, I've had to pause in writing this three times already to re-diaper and dress the bear. Oops, make that four as of now. Now why can't he learn to do that for himself?

The Rest

2008-04-10T15:38:00.016-05:00

Okay, I know it's a TON of pictures, but this should catch us up, other than the photos still on the camera. Sigh, it never ends.

Right at at the start of this nurturing phase, I got pictures of Patrick hugging Elmo. Now he hugs anything he likes a lot, including pictures in books, but it's sweet to see how it all started.

The runner-up for the picture I used to announce Amber's entrance into our family

Nathan has been sitting on his own for a long time now, but I've been too chicken to leave him long enough to get pictures of it. Until recently, he was still just unstable enough that I was afraid he would topple backwards eventually, and he always got scared when that happened so I wouldn't leave him alone. Now that's not really a problem anymore, so expect lots of sitting pictures. This is the first one.

See how good he's getting? I'm comfortable leaving him sitting there next to the dog even. Amber loves him so much and seems to understand that when he "pets" her that he can't control his hands that well yet. He obviously gets a little rough sometimes, but she loves the attention so much. And he loves her so much too; he can't keep his hands off her if she's nearby. He even puts up with the constant baths from her.

She gets so sad anytime her daddy leaves her. She doesn't sulk all day, but if the boys aren't around to distract her (like during naptime), this is what she looks like.

I know the rattle is pink. It's an Easter rattle. He doesn't care, so why should we?

Should I be jealous? I think she makes out with him more than I do these days! (And the parentals reading this...just don't think about it, ok?)

Nathan is also working on standing up. He clearly doesn't have the balance to stand by himself yet, but one of his favorite things to do is practice when he has help.

But he has yet to learn not to bite the hand that holds him.

Just laugh at this one. I couldn't have caught this moment if I tried, so it's lucky I got it without trying.

Okay, this next one has a long explanation. You know how it looks like Nathan doesn't have much hair? Well, it's finally filling in, but it's so fine and so blonde that you can't really tell. But he still has a few hairs that have been continuously growing since before his birth, and those hairs are getting long. Matt was playing with these longer hairs when we were playing outside and pulled it straight up to show how long it is. This is how long the longest hair is:

Isn't she beautiful? Look at that sweet face!

Such a happy kid

And a happy daddy.

By the way, I had tons of Patrick pictures from this lazy time outside the other day, but I used most of them in his monthly letter on Monday. You can go check those out if you feel bad that Patrick got left out.

Holidays

2008-04-09T13:03:00.009-05:00

We didn't do much for St. Patrick's Day other than wear green, but I did make sure to take a picture of Nathan wearing his special bib for the occasion.
Easter was a much bigger event at our house. For the first time, we held an egg hunt for Patrick. He figured out what to do pretty quickly and got excited about every single egg he found.

Naturally he was even more excited about the jelly beans inside them and kept pouring them out in the grass. Eventually we convinced him to just gather the eggs and emptied all the jelly beans we managed to save out of the eggs when we got back inside. Once he tasted them, he figured out how to say "jelly bean" really fast.

Nathan slept through all the festivities, but that's fine since I don't think he would have gotten much out of it anyway.

When he woke up, though, I got a picture of Nathan with "his" Easter basket (one that Patrick has had in years past and no longer needs). The eggs were empty, but he had lots of fun playing anyway.

Then Patrick hopped up and let me get a rare picture of both boys on a special occasion.

Nana and Grandpa sent Nathan a special bib for Easter as well, so I had to take a picture of him wearing that too.

He started hamming it up while I had the camera out, too, so I leave you with Nathan showing off for all of us.

Grandparents

2008-04-08T16:17:00.013-05:00

Here is the first installment of the long overdue pictures. Warning: they are not in any particular order, but I'm trying to group them logically as much as possible.

A few weeks ago my dad was able to visit while he was down here on business. We took many more pictures than this, but most were on his camera to take back to my mom.

Not long before that, we got to see Matt's parents when they visited over part of their spring break. Obviously the kids had a great time seeing their grandparents.

Matt's parents brought several neat presents with them. This wagon is one.

They watched the boys one evening so that Matt and I could sneak in a date. Nathan was being fed when we returned. He seemed to enjoy having Papa feed him.

The other present they brought Patrick was his own Patrick-sized rocking chair. The chair was made by Matt's grandparents for him when he was a little boy, so it's a neat heirloom to have for our own boys.

Thirty Months

2008-04-07T15:32:00.007-05:00

Dear Patrick,

It's been thirty whole months since you were born, a full two and a half years. On the bright side, now I can call you two and a half instead of two, which prompts many fewer odd looks from people when they compare your age with Nathan's. For some reason, two years is an acceptable interval between kids, but one and a half isn't.
Unfortunately, two and a half also puts you in the throes of the terrible twos. And terrible they are. The last few weeks in particular you have been exerting your strong will, particularly through disobedience. You have frustrated and exasperated both Daddy and me to the very limits of our patience. You seem to know which buttons to push and exactly how hard to push us. To say you have been difficult is an understatement.

Yet despite all you have put us through, I can't help but admire you as well. You have extreme persistence. I'm hoping some day you will put that trait to good use, instead of using it as a way to drive us crazy. You are also very creative. You manage to find ways to turn every punishment into a game. If we spank you, you laugh and start walking around the house spanking yourself. If we take your toys away, you shrug and find something new to play with, even if it's not officially a toy. Every time we put you in time-out, you make a game out of finding a way to play even in time-out, and the more disobedient it is, the better. In fact, we have moved your time-out location several times so that it will be more difficult for you to find a way to play, and you love the challenge and get more creative to turn punishment into playtime.

It's gotten to the point where I enjoy hearing you cry when you get punished because it's the only way I know it's working. And I don't know of any other way to let you know your behavior is unacceptable. Better yet, how about we work on not behaving in that manner to begin with? Then neither of us needs to worry about a punishment for you.

Daddy and I have had endless discussions about how to deal with you. We have brainstormed different positive rewards for good behavior; we have brainstormed better punishments that you may actually respond to. So far you have thwarted all of our best ideas. While I am at my wit's end with you, you need to know that you're not a bad kid--not by any means. You're simply mischievous and you enjoy testing your limits, over and over and over again. I'm holding out hope that this stage is just a stage after all and that a few months from now you'll outgrow it. Maybe at that point you will only keep the best qualities that I admire in you so much now.

And I will have patience beyond that of any other human. Except Daddy. And Nana and Grandpa who had to raise me. I'm sure that's where you got this after all.

The biggest event from the last month is the addition of Amber to our family. Can I just say that you were thrilled about this? You still are, every day. You won't leave your room in the mornings until Amber has come in to say hi to you. You love Amber with the overexuberance only a toddler can have. Fortunately, Amber loves all your loving, clumsy as it may be. She puts up with you when you play a little too rough with her (which always elicits one of those pointless time-outs) and hates when you're in bed--after she's enjoyed a little quiet time of her own first. Amber whines outside your door as soon as she hears you awake in the morning, reminding me that I need to release her beloved playmate as soon as possible. She watches over you like a mother would and plays with you like a sister would. I couldn't be more pleased to get to watch the two of you grow up together.
And I don't know if it's Amber or the visits from your ECI teacher or what, but your language is growing by leaps and bounds these days. Sometimes I wish I could follow you around with your baby book to write down each new word or phrase you say. It's all so fascinating to me to see how thrilled you are to be able to make yourself understood with words. This morning when we were playing outside with Amber, I mentioned Nathan had a dirty diaper and that we'd need to go inside and change it soon. You looked at me and asked, "Isside? Chay di-poo Gaga?" And I knew right away you'd understood exactly what I'd said, using the longest string of comprehensible words I'd ever heard you use. Pretty soon you're going to be asking me to explain electricity to you (ask Nana or Uncle Steve about that reference) and quoting whole songs and movies to me.

For now, though, I celebrate every tiny achievement, whether it's a new word or putting your shorts on by yourself (even if they are Nathan's shorts) or obeying me the first time I ask you to. We had a great morning this morning, and that gives me hope that we can have a great afternoon and maybe a great tomorrow and that not every day will be as trying as some of the ones I've survived lately. I have hope that sometime soon I will get to spend every single day enjoying the happy, sweet, loving boy that you let out to play every once in a while between tantrums. But know that I love even that puddle of screaming Patrick rolling around and kicking on the floor, even if I have to do it while sighing and wearing my angry face.

Love,

Mommy

Two Things

2008-04-04T11:50:00.002-05:00

Patrick: His language has been improving so much. He throws out new sentences at me fairly regularly and works to tell me what he needs with words (sometimes, anyway). His "teacher" from ECI agrees that he's making amazing progress and already thinks he doesn't need to see her every week. We've cut back to every other week, and he may be caught up enough by the time he's three that he won't qualify for their help anymore. Considering how far behind he was a month or so ago, it truly is amazing.

Nathan: He's figured out that he, too, can make sounds with his mouth other than regular crying or fussing. His favorite noise is the m sound, so he babbles "mama" to me all day long. I'd love to call it his first word, but I don't think he understands what he's saying. Either way, I love hearing it. I like to believe that he's calling out for me.

I know I have TONS of pictures I need to post, but I've just been feeling too lazy to go through all the trouble to post them. I'm hoping to get motivated soon, but I'll probably just do all of them when I do, in case it takes me this long next time to find the motivation. So when you see pictures in the top post soon, make sure you scroll through the next few ones down as well, as they are probably going to also be new and chock full of pictures.

And There's the Second

2008-04-03T11:37:00.002-05:00

I told you it wouldn't be long, and I was right. This morning I woke up to discover Nathan's second tooth had broken through at last. That's the other middle bottom one if you were wondering.

I should have expected as much when he woke up crying in the middle of the night last night. That is highly unusual; my boys don't give up sleep for just anything.

Despite the middle-of-the-night disturbance, though, he has had minimal fussing with teething so far. I know I've said many times how tough Patrick is, but he put up a much bigger fuss about his teeth than Nathan has. It may turn out that Nathan is the tough one after all.

A New Addition

2008-03-31T15:08:00.005-05:00

Matt and I have a big announcement to make. Or rather, we'll let the boys make it:

I'm the big brother.

And I'm the little sister.

Her name is Amber, and she joined our family as of yesterday. Technically she's not the "little" sister, as she weighs more than either brother and is a little older than even Patrick. She's a rescued beagle, adopted from the local beagle rescue society.

So far, she's been nothing but perfect. She already protects the boys and is perfectly gentle with them. She hasn't had even one accident in the house yet and adores all of us. The boys love her as much as she loves them, too, and Patrick already knows her name. He calls out, "Hi, Puppy!" to her every time he sees her.

For those of you who don't know, I grew up with a beagle. For me, it feels so right to have a sweet beagle sleeping next to me on the couch. Even Matt, a loyal Doberman lover, agrees that Amber is the perfect dog for us. Expect lots of Amber stories in the future, especially if she keeps letting me get pictures like this of her.

A Tooth

2008-03-28T13:10:00.002-05:00

Well, we woke up this morning to Nathan's first tooth. We knew it wasn't going to be long, as we've felt the bottom two middle ones poking up for over a week now. It just seemed like neither tooth really cared to be the first to actually break through the gums. Then finally this morning the right tooth won.

Nathan's really been a trooper through all the teething pain. His fussy periods with it were better than most babies' fussy periods when they're not teething. Yet this morning there was still a remarkable change to his mood. Who would have thought Nathan could be even happier than he'd been?

I'll keep you posted on when tooth #2 decides to make an appearance. I'm guessing it won't be long and that his days of being a one-toothed baby are short.

Six-Month Check-Up

2008-03-25T15:59:00.002-05:00

Really, there's not much to report. Nathan's six-month check-up today was short, sweet, and to the point--actually, three for Nathan. He got three more vaccines, which he wasn't particularly fond of. At least I got to see Patrick comfort his brother again. (He now says, "You're okay," instead of "It's okay." We've never told Patrick, "You're okay," so that shows a good mastery of pronouns, a fact I'm obviously quite proud of.)

Other than the traumatic shots, the appointment was easy. Nathan's fine and still growing well. He weighed less than I expected at only 16 lbs and 13 oz. He's been weighing at 17 1/2 at home, which I think is closer to reality. Either way, the doctor isn't worried. He said one big poop could explain the difference between the two. If you're keeping up with the stats, his height is 25 1/2 in (more accurate than last time) and his head circumference is 17 1/2 in.

I guess that's it. The appointment was very routine. We'll be back in three months, barring any illnesses between now and then.

Six Months

2008-03-22T14:36:00.010-05:00

Dear Nathan,

Somewhere, somebody decided to let time speed on past me, letting you turn six months old in the blink of an eye. I've spent this Saturday morning reminiscing on that one six months ago. We happened to drive by the hospital yesterday evening, and I was able to remember watching the dawn over the trees through the window in the hospital room in that short interval between getting my epidural and starting to push. It brought back that first moment I saw you so vividly, the way your eyes focused right in on mine, as though you claimed me as your mommy in that very moment.
In the six months since that eventful morning, you have grown in every way possible. You are so big now, wearing clothes meant for your age, clothes that your brother was wearing at his first birthday. In fact, some of them are already too small for you, strained to their limits by your chubby belly and chunky thighs.

You have certainly matured, too. You are no longer the dependent, floppy little thing handed to me six months ago. Now you are quite independent, able to play with toys you find interesting and interacting with your brother without needing Mommy's undivided attention. And you're a far cry from floppy, able to sit up on your own and showing off that skill every chance you get.

But I'm still most impressed with you personality. I never had reason to doubt Patrick was a happy baby--until I met you. Nathan, you are in the middle of a crazy teething stage that I know must hurt terribly. Yet you rarely fuss from the pain. You still flash me one of those last few toothless grins every chance you get, even in the middle of the pain. It warms my heart to see you so content and happy all the time. Daddy and I must be doing something right for you to be so happy.

The quiet moments with you have grown few lately. When you're awake, you're typically active, anxious to be playing with something. And when you're sleepy, you just want to be put in bed so you can snuggle with a blankie and fall asleep on your own. But a few days ago, you drifted off in my arms after eating yourself to sleep. It was one of those rare quiet moments with you, and all I could do was stare at you with a goofy smile on my face. As sweet as you are awake, there is something so specially sweet about you sleeping in my arms. It shows total and complete trust of a sort that takes my breath away, one that makes me feel so blessed to be your mommy.

That word "blessed" has been a common theme for me lately. Every day I'll catch you gazing up at me while you eat, or smiling at me while you play, or sleeping in my arms on those rare occasions, and my heart overflows with gratitude. It no longer matters to me that my moments alone are few and far between. It was worth every moment of pain and worry while I was pregnant with you, and it has been worth every sleepless night since--just to have you in my life.

And so every day finds me with an urgent reminder to spend a few minutes in prayer. That gratitude I feel when I gaze into your eyes forces me to pray to my God, thanking Him for the many blessings in my life, the least of which is you. I never would have thought it possible, my dear son, but you are bringing me closer to God without even knowing it.

I hope I can return the favor year after year. It is one of my greatest roles as your mother after all, to teach you about your Savior and lead you to Him. On this Easter weekend, I am making a vow to you to be more diligent in this task, to both you and your brother. Because of you, I have been reminded that being a responsible parent to you has little to do with how many toys you have or how well-dressed you are. There is so much more I need to do for you than that, and I can only hope and pray that with God's help, I can fulfill those much more important needs.

So, my sweet Nathan, while I cherish those first six months of your life, I want the next six and twelve and two hundred and forty to be even more special to both of us. I want your naturally sweet and happy disposition to only grow more so, and I want to be a part of making you into a wonderful and godly man.
I have heard it said that first children make you a mother and second ones make you a better mother, and that is exactly what you have done. Thank you, Nathan, for teaching me how to be a better mother. I love you more than you will ever know.

Love,

Mommy

Patrick, the Two-Year-Old

2008-03-20T11:04:00.002-05:00

There is not a doubt in my mind that Patrick is two. He can swing from being sweet and affectionate to...well, difficult in a fraction of a second.

One one hand, he loves to imitate us, especially when it makes us laugh. Yesterday we were in the car when "Funkytown" came on the radio. Matt and I laughed at it and decided it was more interesting than the songs on the other stations we frequent, so we left it. When I noticed Patrick was bouncing his foot to the beat of the song, I told him to say "funkytown." All three of us died laughing when we heard, "Fu-kee-ta," (with the emphasis on the middle syllable, like fajita) from the backseat. He continued to repeat it all evening because it got a big laugh every time.

Then there's his love for his brother. He loves to make Nathan laugh and always wants to kiss him good night before naps and bedtime. He has even adopted his Elmo to be his own baby and carries him around when I have Nathan. He brings him along for his own diaper change when Nathan is getting changed, and Elmo gets put down for "sleep tight" when Nathan does. This nurturing imitation is so adorable. I love this part of the stage.

On the other hand, though, Patrick has learned the fine art of throwing the most aggravating tantrums ever. No longer can they resolve themselves in five or ten minutes; they can easily last an hour or more now. None of us even remember what started the tantrum in the first place by the time it's over. It's all because Patrick doesn't get what he wants the second he wants it. He has become demanding and whiny all of a sudden, and it's driving Matt and me crazy. No amount of punishment seems to make the slightest difference, and time-outs have been enforced more for our own sanity than to correct Patrick's behavior. This is a very trying phase.

Oh, and there's the hitting game. Patrick has decided it's a fun game to hit or kick Mommy. He repeats, "No kicking," and then laughs. He remembers it as a game, not an admonishment. Again, punishments aren't helping because he can't connect them to the action. He can't imagine that I'd punish him for playing a game, so he thinks the punishments are simply meaningless. I'm at my wit's end with the whole situation.

I'm trying very hard to remember that this age will not last forever and that I need to cherish all these sweet moments because I'll miss this age when it's gone. But in the midst of one of these marathon tantrums (of which there are several each day), all I can think about is how quickly he will be a three-year-old and past the worst of this stage.

Because shortly after that, Nathan will be a two-year-old. Sigh. What have I gotten myself into?

So Far Behind

2008-03-18T16:10:00.002-05:00

Ugh, I'm getting so bad about posting. The problem is that I don't have time to post one day, and by the time I can get a few minutes, I've racked up so many things I need to say (and pictures to show off) that the task seems overwhelming and I don't know where to start. So right now is a short catch-up bulleted post. Later today or tomorrow I hope to make an effort to catch up on pictures.

Nathan is basically sitting up on his own. I'm terrified to leave him alone because he still topples over at any moment, but he can sit without any support for an indefinite period of time. Matt and I joke that this is so much easier for him than it was for his brother because he has a bigger base to balanced on.
Patrick's language is really taking off. Less than a month ago, he was only saying his set phrases and very little to tell us what he wants. Now he is speaking in full sentences sometimes. A few from the last four or five days include: "We're all done," "I'm gonna go crash," and "I wanna go outside." Yes, they are full sentences, with appropriate pronouns, and actually convey a useful message. I'd say that's progress in leaps and bounds!
Nathan is about to cut two teeth, literally any moment now. I'm checking his gums pretty much every hour, just waiting on them to break through. If you're curious, they're the bottom two middle ones. He's not too upset by it, but he does sleep better when he's had teething tablets or Tylenol.
Nathan is still doing well with solids. He's on his third baby food flavor, his favorite so far--pears. There's not much else to say about this because he's eating like a pro. He was definitely ready for solids when we started them.
Nathan's aim with his hands and arms is getting better. He reaches for things (and people) he finds interesting and can usually hit them on the first try. Patrick's not so sure he likes this development as he has had his hair pulled, his shirt held, and his arm and face grabbed at various times.
I wish I had something to write here about Patrick and potty training, but the only thing he's figured out so far is that when he sits on his potty and tries to go in it, he gets an M&M (or a "lalala" as he calls it). At least he can now tell me when he's "yucky" or "poopy"--his words for a poopy diaper. Now we're working on catching him before filling that diaper so that he can go on the potty instead.
Both boys got to visit with their Gigi and Papa this weekend and had a blast. Patrick called them both by name within minutes of their arrival and is still talking about them. Pictures to follow (eventually...).

Uh-Oh, Time for an Update!

2008-03-12T15:33:00.002-05:00

Oops, time got away from me again. I didn't realize how much time had passed since I blogged last!

Not too much has been happening here. We had a quiet, relaxing weekend and then got caught off guard by the time change. All of our schedules are a bit out of whack at the moment. For example, Patrick has decided to boycott naptime lately. Today is the first day he's taken a decent nap in over a week, and the first nap at all in three or four days. I'm hoping this means he's finally getting adjusted to the time change and will go back to his old sleeping schedule again.

Nathan hasn't been affected quite as much, but he got up to eat during the night a few times recently. Then last night we fed him solids until he was about to pop, and oddly enough he slept beautifully. I guess we just weren't feeding him enough before. And that's really saying something. As much as Patrick has always eaten, Nathan is already eating more than he did at this age. His thighs are certainly the proof.

Patrick had his first therapy appointment on Monday. It was interesting to watch. She didn't do anything special with him, but just followed his lead and played with whatever he wanted to. She just interacted differently with him than I might. She was also impressed with all the progress he's already made since she saw him last.

Now his language is taking off. He is repeating us all the time (the most important time to watch every word that leaves our mouths) and can use some of those repeated words in context on his own. His language is suddenly more functional, as he has found words to ask for what he wants in most situations. This morning he was able to ask me to refill his sippy cup, and specifically that he wanted juice in it. That's a vast improvement over shoving it in my face and screaming if it didn't immediately refill itself. Before long, he may actually be able to communicate like a normal two-year-old.

The weather around here has started to warm up; spring is definitely on its way. Today I went through all of Patrick's old clothes and pulled out a spring and summer wardrobe for Nathan. It was kind of sad looking at all those clothes and wondering how I could possibly put Nathan in all of them before he outgrows them. He's already just barely fitting into his 3-6 months clothes, and they are most of our cutest summer clothes (remember Patrick wore them exclusively in his first summer). It's crazy to think that by next summer, Nathan will likely be wearing the clothes we're buying for Patrick this year. I hope Patrick has outgrown them by that point, or the boys will end up sharing a wardrobe. Although, come to think of it, that might be nice on our budget...

A First Taste

2008-03-08T13:52:00.003-06:00

Last week, Nathan stopped letting me sleep through the night. He woke up every night, desperate to eat. And he would eat for hours on end. If that's not a sign he's ready for something more substantial in his belly, I don't know what is. I was as desperate for sleep as he was for food, so I finally decided it was time to do something about it.

So Wednesday night, we started solid foods.
He sat in his big boy high chair quite happily while I prepared his yummy dinner of runny rice cereal. I was proud of how he wanted to sit up on his own as much as possible, not leaning against the sides like Patrick did when he first used this high chair.

Nathan was quite ready for that first bite, opening his mouth as soon as he saw the spoon coming. I think he already knew there was something yummy on there. Of course, this was his reaction to the "yummy" food:

But his tummy was hungry enough that he kept eating, regardless of that initial reaction. He downed most of the bowl I'd prepared like a pro. He grimaced after many bites (which prompted me to change some things about the preparation for the next night, which he ate much more happily), but he just kept eating.

And he was certainly much happier when we were done. Nathan likes having a full belly.

Since then, he has started sleeping a little better each night until last night's full night of sleep. It seems that Mommy's milk wasn't quite enough anymore, but he's loving his first taste of this wide world of solid food.

Twenty-Nine Months

2008-03-06T21:37:00.008-06:00

Dear Patrick,

This last month, your twenty-ninth, has been one of several changes. The biggest one has been in relation to your talking. You may remember when those nice ladies came over here and played with you and talked with Mommy. They were here to find out whether Mommy was crazy in thinking your speech was abnormal compared to other kids your age.
It turns out Mommy isn't crazy, at least not in that sense. I was actually a little devastated to hear exactly how far behind you are--over a year. Naturally I wonder how things would be if we'd had you checked out when we first suspected a problem, over a year ago. You'd probably even be caught up by now. So I apologize for not acting on my suspicions sooner. The good news is that you should catch up regardless, even if it may take a little longer now. I keep reminding myself that things could be much worse. And it doesn't matter because I'm not going to love you any less if you talk any more or less than you do.

Another big change--even in the language department--is this sudden language explosion. It all started with that day the ladies showed up, about two weeks ago. Since then you've started repeating more words Daddy and I say and finding applications for many of them. I'd love to say this must be a result of us using the strategies the ladies left with us, but we have been using them imperfectly, to say the least. I think you were just ready for an explosion, and interacting with the new people spurred you on.

A few of the words you've added in the last week or so (the ones I can remember right now anyway) include: open and close (in relation to doors in particular), door, pizza, cool, crash, blankie, duckie, doggie, horsie (I'm pretty sure that's what you were saying), yucky, stinky, poopy, juice, sippy, and belly.

The other huge development has to do with your baby brother. Your relationship with him has taken off in the last few weeks. I suspect much of it has to do with the fact that you two now share a room. When we put both of you boys down to bed, you are left alone with Nathan. For the first time, we are leaving you alone to forge a relationship with him, out from under our prying eyes. It looks as though you have decided you're his protector. Many times I'll sneak into your room in the middle of the night because I hear Nathan crying, and when I get there, you are also awake, talking quietly to him. "It's okay, Gaga. Sleep tight. See you in a little while. It's okay."

That bedtime relationship is starting to overflow into your daily life around me and Daddy as well. You're no longer afraid to comfort Nathan even when one of us is around to do it. And Nathan responds to you even better than he does to us. You captivate him; he adores you. All you have to do is pay attention to him, and you can coax a huge grin out of him even in his most fussy moments. I love this happy, loving relationship you two have, and I dread the knock-down, drag-out sibling rivalry fights I know are in our future. At least I know this sweetness lies underneath even the most bitter fights.

You also now show your affection for your brother by giving him hugs--"Mmm-ma. Sleep tight." Nathan doesn't seem to mind when you accidentally knock heads with him during one of these sweet hugs. I can't help but laugh when you immediately run to me to also give me a hug because it is so clearly an afterthought. You wanted to hug your brother, but you don't want me to feel left out. It's very considerate of you, I must say.

Even taking into account the endless tantrums, this has been one of my favorite months with you. You make it so easy to love you. You see, I know you'll grow out of these tantrums eventually, but you won't grow out of that sweet personality. You won't grow out of that hilarious sense of humor or that love for your baby brother and Daddy and me.

Just as no matter how much you grow or how mature you get, you can't outgrow the love Daddy and I have for you. That is one constant when everything else about you seems to be changing.

Love,

Mommy